I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Wednesday, February 06, 2013

You knew I wouldn't shut up for long


Okay, I’m in a better place.  I wasn’t in a good mood this weekend and I’m glad I didn’t post while I was feeling so unlike myself.  What I did instead of griping and complaining here was to write to Nick and told him a little of how I was feeling and asked him how he was feeling about things – us in particular.

Okay, yes damn it – I broke down and communicated!  And if you say ‘I told you so’ I’ll hunt you down and spank your ass.  He seemed happy that I’d written.  You may think it’s nutty but I know I communicate better when I write.  He wrote back that he was happy and that he was especially happy that I wanted us to continue to be as close as possible.  He asked me to send him updates on what I’m thinking and feeling.

This is often really hard for me – not the writing part, I could bury the poor man in words if I don’t restrain myself, it’s the convincing myself that he really wants to hear it. There is another voice in my head – it’s not Badass or Wimpy, this is a truly evil bitch who is very good at making me pull away from Nick. Now if he could tell when she’s around and spank the hell out of her we’d both be better off.

I'm feeling more comfortable now.  I don't know what all I'll be telling him or asking him.  I guess it doesn't really matter as long as we're on the same page.
                                                                       

27 comments:

  1. I told you so!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. All right Bas, you're going to hear a knock on the door one day and it's going to be me standing there knocking with a paddle!

      Delete
  2. I gotta do it PK, I told you so!

    Seriously, I'm glad you wrote it down, and especially glad that Nick appreciated it and want's you to give him updates. Not weird at all that it's easier to write it down than to actually say it. Heck, my hubby finds out a lot about what's going with me from my blog! LoL

    So glad you are feeling better. Do not listen to the evil bitch. She's messing with you. You know Nick want's to hear it :)

    Hugs,
    Roz

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    Replies
    1. Okay Roz, you're on my list too! I like it when Nick reads the blog, he would get plenty of information. I know he does sometimes, but I don't know if it's all the time. Yeah, Evil Bitch is powerful and hateful!

      Delete
  3. PK,
    this makes good reading. stay with it.
    Love and warm hugs,
    Paul.

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    1. Paul,
      You know I'll stay with it - always. I guess all of life is a series of ups and downs. For me the joy of marriage is that it goes on - getting out would never enter my mind.

      Delete
  4. Yes, makes happy reading.

    I have to say it as well - told you so:)

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    Replies
    1. Thanks Ronnie,
      I think I'll come after you with a hair brush - not the cane, you like that too much!

      Delete
  5. I told you so, Haahaahaaa. The idea of you hunting me down to spank me cracks me up :) I'm so glad you sre feeling better. Maybe you could give Nick the evil bitch's description so he knows to look out for her.

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    Replies
    1. Faerie,
      You don't think I could hunt you down and spank your ass? LOL! Actually that would be a bit intimidating. EB is very hard to recognize, she looks and acts just like me only a little quieter and makes less eye contact.

      Delete
  6. I do better with the written communication also. I have found that short little, unexpected post it notes, can be very effective......think dirty, sexy notes.
    hugs abby

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    1. Abby,
      Dirty sexy notes - now thats an idea!

      Delete
  7. ((hugs)) PK - Glad to see things looking up a bit... You need to drown that "evil bitch" that makes you pull away - But - I confess, I have her too.. I turn away all too quickly when I should be seeking comfort.
    Maybe he can learn to read your "signs" when she is making an appearance and give you a bit of what you need!

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    Replies
    1. Emi,
      Do you think most of us have a EB? Mine's persistent, I'll give her that. She seems to lurk consistently looking for an opening.

      Delete
  8. I won't say it. Glad you finally broke down and expressed your feelings to Nick. I love abby's suggestion. I'm sure Nick will come up with some things too.

    You know what always gets me the tingles is public swat. Just a suggestion Nick.

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    1. Sunny,
      LOVE the public swats. Wonder if that true for our younger counterparts. I suppose at one time in my life it would have embarrassed me - no longer!

      Delete
  9. Hi PK! I am so glad you are in a better place. I would say "I told you so" but you have my address :-) so instead I am going to say "You told you so" since you are always encouraging us to communicate here...so looks like you will be chasing yourself for that spanking :-) Hugs, Terps

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Terps!
      Such a smart girl! I know exactly where to find you! I do know how important communication is but darn it's hard!!

      Delete
  10. Hi PK. I'm glad you're feeling better about things now. I hope you're up to dishing out 4 spankings though, lol :)

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    Replies
    1. Queenie,
      It will be a stretch for me, I'm not a switch - but I could give it a try.

      Delete
  11. Let me at that evil bitch. I have lots of energy to get her! Maybe we can send an implement her way. Nick could have some fun!
    I am delighted you communicated. Maybe that should be a 'rule' Nick institutes. Every week you must tell him what you want and need. If you don't he uses Ronnie's gift to you!

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    1. Minelle,
      Actually that's exactly what he's ask for - a weekly accounting. He's done that before and I think it's one of the very best things he's ever done. I think ALL husbands should asks for a weekly letter from the ladies they love - sometimes we need an invitation to say what's important to us.

      Delete
  12. PK,
    I say we round up all the "Evil Bitches" and send them off to the land Oz.
    So glad you're communicating in the best way you know how. I sometimes find it's so much easier to define my thoughts when I can see them in black and white.
    Keep connecting girl!

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    Replies
    1. Catrinka,
      I agree - off to Oz with them! I call it capturing it on paper. Once it's written it seems more manageable.

      Delete
  13. Hey PK - Not sure if I suggested you talk to Nick or have him read your post so guess I can't say 'told ya so' darn it.

    Very happy to hear you're in a better and communicated with Nick.

    I agree with Minelle, Nick should make it a rule that you have to tell him every week what you want/need.

    'Evil Bitch' definitely needs to be kicked to the curb - you sure don't need her hangin' around.

    Blessings,
    Cat

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    Replies
    1. Cat,
      I am working to throw her out! Like I told Minelle, Nick has asked for that very thing. Cross your fingers for me.

      Delete
  14. PK: Great that you are communicating with your husband. You can never have too much communication. Keep letting him know how you are feeling.

    FD

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