I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Sunday, February 17, 2013

We both have our jobs to do

Our Valentine’s Day was laid back. We exchanged cards, I didn’t want any candy and we just spent a quiet evening together.  I was cruising around in blogland and came across the paddle that Rogue had gotten from Blondie and Ty.  Nick laughed when I showed it to him and said ‘Wood, huh’.  I explained some things would be fine over clothes.  That was about it for the evening.

However, Nick was off the next day. When I came home from work, what did I find in my chair but a lovely wooden paddle that Nick had made me that very day! 

Even better, it works!  Quite effectively I might add.  I got a quick spanking with it minutes after I got home, which left me dancing and rubbing – and grinning!

I even wrote Nick a short thank-you email which said –

Hey honey,
I love the paddle (except when you're using it). Seriously I do.  When I pulled in yesterday I was thinking "I wish he would just grab me and spank me when I walk in" which was nearly what happened.  May seem nutty to you but I sure do feel better in general when my butt's sore. If you don't have a reason, simply "You need this to keep your head where it should be." is always fine.

Love you

To which he replied –

"love it except when I'm using it"?  Sure can be confusing!

Wait, was he teasing?  Did he realize I had been?  Now I was confused.

So I was wondering… Wait, give me back my computer!

Badass here. Good grief! Men!  There is not a spanko out here who didn’t understand what she meant. So just for the guys out here I’m going to type slowly and use little words. Spanko want to be spanked!  In the morning, afternoon, evening, anytime they bend over, any time an implement is handy and they want to complain about it, try to get out of it, claim they don’t deserve it and that you’re spanking too hard!  That’s what we do!  Even spanko aren’t always crazy about the spanking while it’s happening.  The anticipation and the aftermath are the best parts.  It’s like dieting – it’s not enjoyable while you’re doing it, but the results are great. Why can’t you men just…

Sorry about that, it’s PK again.  Badass has been dropping by lately and she catches me by surprise at times. Nick you can’t hold anything she says against me – she can be a bit sarcastic at times.  But it really is simple:

Your job –

Spank me often

Send me to get any implement you'd like

Give quick swats anytime

Give those short intense 10 to 15 swats when you have time

Let me anticipate even those little one when you can by telling me to bend over the chair or the bed

Spank me as foreplay too

My job –

·    Always submit to any spanking you want to give

·   Get the implement if you tell me to

  Complain that the spanking is totally unfair

·    Complain that you’re spanking too hard

·  Wonder (during the spanking) why in the world I ever asked for this

·   Rub my butt when it’s over and ask ‘What was that for?’

·   Have a big smile on my face every time I walk away after a spanking.

*Most of the previous post has been a public service announcement from PK and Badass.


  1. Yep! Yep! Yep!
    Confusing alright! Anticipation. No when it's happening, yes after! Life as a spanko/ sometime spankno is just so crazy!

    1. Minelle,
      Since it confuses us sometimes I know the guys can get confused. So we just keep telling them while we are calm and not being spanked, "We like it when you spank us", disregard any thing we say during the spanking!

  2. PK: Always good to hear from Badass. And you explain the spanko dynamic so very well. It's interesting the love-hate relationship spankos have with spankings. Hate the spanking while it is happening but love the anticipation and the aftermath. Let's hope you will be getting more spankings.


    1. FD,
      I love that Badass is at least coming around to visit even if she hasn't moved back in exactly. BTW, your hope has been fulfilled! ; )

  3. Could have told you that this "except when you're using it", would not come over very good.
    When will you and Badass understand that deep in his guts Nick doesn't really believe that you want to be spanked with heavy instruments like paddles. As the loving man that he is, he is incapable of really believing that!
    This time, he tried to convince himself. He made you the paddle as a token, took him all day, thinking nervously about your needs and then your reaction is that you don't like him using it. Doesn't matter what else you said. That little sentence hits home, because that is what fits in his understanding.
    Each time you say something like this he will think: "She likes to look at the pretty paddle. She likes to fantasize about being paddled. She likes to tell her blog buddies about the awful paddle. She loves me for making this beautiful paddle. She may even like some light love taps. There's just one thing she does not like and that is really being paddled with it. That's what she says, that's what I can understand as logical."
    Now please try to repair the damage by explaining the job description to him. Add one important item at your part of the job list: "Thanking him for his hard work".
    Print it out. Put your signature on it and hand it over to him.


    1. I don't know Bas, I really do think that Nick knows I love it when he spanks me. He may not understand the reasons I love it (I don't either) but it knows it makes me happy.

      Nick and I spend a great deal of time teasing one another. I have told him and he know I love the new paddle that he made just for me. Remember he's been hearing me discuss spanking pros (makes me feel happy and loved) and cons (hurts like hell while he's doing it) for going on seven years! He is confused and befuddled by the duel attitude of many spankos, but most of the time he shrugs and spanks anyway.

      And one more thing, do you know how much I love that you care about me and Nick!

    2. I'm probably wrong in my comment, PK, because I may have just projected my own shaky thoughts on Nick.
      I should not have done that, because nobody reacts the same.
      Still think the job description (with my addition) clarifies a lot.

    3. Bas,
      It does clarify much. I think you have just cleared up something in my mind for me. You and Nick are so very much alike in your feelings about spanking but you each come at it from opposite sides. You have been the one to bring it into your marriage and you still wonder in some part of your mind if Lisa 'wants' this while I begged for it in our marriage and Nick's repeated reaction is 'are you sure?'.

      Confusion or not, I'm glad it working for all of us.

  4. PK,
    being what I am, it's hard for me to fit into Nick's shoes.
    I suspect that Bas may be right, try it, it can't hurt.
    Love and warm hugs,

    1. Paul,
      What I know for sure is that I've been spanked twice in three days. Something's working well!

  5. YES It makes all the sense in the world to me, PK! - we are indeed complicated creatures...now I just need hubby to read this and... :-)

    So glad you received a homemade wooden paddle -that would definitely make my heart sing...not sure about my bottom :-) but if hubby ever surprises me with one I will make sure to take your advice and say I love it (period). :-)
    Hugs, Terps

    1. Terps,
      I love that he took part of his day off to make me a paddle, and i think he knows I love it - he's all ready used it today.

  6. I'm so sending this to Bucko! I think you did a great job of explaining what we want and need. You go PK and Badass!

    1. TL,
      I can always count on Badass to tell it like it is. As long as she doesn't say too much and get me in trouble.

  7. Only a spanko would say this, how sweet that he made you a paddle :)

    1. Faerie,
      I was sweet! And even sweeter that he's using it!

  8. Welcome back Badass.

    Oh PK, that was such a beautiful gift straight from Nick's heart. I think Bas gave you some wonderful advice. Hope you and Nick settle in to 'job duties' soon. ;)


    1. Cat,
      I think the advice was good too. We're working on our duties. I do love my gift!

  9. He MADE you a paddle. *sighing and all melty* What a wonderful present.

    Nick, pick it up and use it anytime your wife confuses you. Spank the confusion away until you are both on the same page. And just so you know, paddles work very well on bare bottoms. ;)

    1. Rogue,
      There are few gifts that mean as much to a spanko. But you're WRONG! it surely can't be used on bare bottoms, over jeans is completely ouchy enough!

  10. A surprise spanking is always nice! I hope you enjoyed your Valentine's day!

    1. Lea,
      You're right - always nice!

  11. Great post, so true. I agree with "Wonder (during the spanking) why in the world I ever asked for this."

    Take care,

    1. Meg,
      It so strange how fast we can go from "Please stop!" to "What? You stopped?"

  12. I emailed this post to hubby. Will be interesting to see if he has any response.

  13. Sunny,
    I hope he does - please let me know.

  14. What a lovely gesture, a hand made paddle. When you think about what it really represents - increased intimacy, a stronger marriage bond - it is a very romantic gift.
    Congratulations, PK

    1. Lillie,
      I agree, the time and thought he put into it. I sure hope it's well used.

  15. PK i think you have just vocalized every spanko's thoughts and wishes right here...i think every top HOH husband partner should read this post...bloody brilliant woman :)....and wow a hand made paddle hehehe
    I just got a "quickie" a few minutes ago - and its funny how half way through I grumbled I must be stupid....he just laughed and carried on.
    cool post loved it

    1. Kiwi,
      LOL we are a strange bunch but at least we understand each other!

  16. How lovely of him to make a paddle - that sounds strange reading it back, only in blogland would we congratulate each other on a new paddle and getting paddled LoL.

    A brilliant explanation, well stated. It's crazy but it works huh? LoL


    1. Roz,
      I've thought of that many time, telling our good friends - " I hope he spanks your ass good and stands you in the corner!" is just not something you hear in your daily life. Yet coming from a friend here I would just think "Bless their hearts, that's so sweet!" LOL!

  17. Good post PK.

    You've got to love a man who spends the day making a paddle. Great that he used it straight away.


  18. I emailed you before reading the comments. They are great too. With all the confusion and insecurity we all have regarding TTWD, we all are in agreement that you expressed our feelings perfectly!
    Rosie Dee