That’s exactly what I feel like today. I’m not, I did the right thing, but my baby is sad and she cried twice on the phone to me today and I just can’t make everything all better. In the past I could, if she couldn’t decide if she wanted McDonald’s or Burger King I just decided for her. The decisions are bigger now and they are no longer mine to make.
Last year she had a traditionally dorm room, this year she and 3 friends are in a suite with two bedrooms, two baths and a living room and kitchen – perfect! But when housing came out for next year they didn’t get it. Only one of the four girls got housing on the first round, and it was back in a regular dorm. She had to take it because she and her roommate couldn't afford an apartment. That left Mollie and roommate with nothing as of Friday. So they began apartment hunting. Then today, in the second round of housing offers she can get a dorm room in the same dorm, same floor as their friends.
However now, she is torn, she wants to be with her friends – but she want’s more space and a kitchen in the apartment and the idea of living in her own apartment has it's own appeal. Her roommate wants the apartment (so she and her boyfriend will have a place to stay) and Mollie wants everyone to be happy. Roommate says it’s up to Mollie.
So… she calls mom. I say fine, here are my thoughts: I prefer you living on campus. Realize that you’ll be living in an apartment or house for the rest of your life and this is the last opportunity to live in a dorm with a bunch of friends. I told her I was probably prejudice because I had always wanted to live in a dorm and had never had the chance. In my mind it would be wonderful, but that was based on novels I’d read rather than experience.
But then I added, “I really think you’ll be happy either way you decide, apartment or dorm. It’s your decision and whichever one you choose it will be fine by us.” Thus thrusting the responsibility of adult decision making in her life onto her shoulders. I felt like the worse mother in the world.
I wasn’t more than a week ago that I email her a card that said,
“Don’t grow up – it’s a trap!”
I believe that reality has just sunk in.
She called just as I was headed to bed. They chose the dorm.