I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Tuesday, October 09, 2012

Nick had something to say

When I got home from school yesterday Nick was out in my writing room working to light the pilot in my little stove.  It got cold here yesterday, as it seemed to everywhere.  I settled in out there planning to write, but as often happens I began reading blogs, checking facebook and finally reading emails.  I had one from Nick, that's unusual.  Here's what he wrote.


Instead of worrying about lighting the pilot to keep your feet warm, perhaps we need to be warming another area.
It seems to me you have been showing impatience in some of your recent posts as well as a perhaps skewed point of view.
You act as if I never make an effort to address TTWD.  You speak of going months.  Have you forgotten a quick reminder last Fri before work, yes it was brief but I wanted you to know I was not ignoring you or your efforts to lose weight. I expected Mollie to be around for a couple of days.
You have asked for more connection to performance (discipline) and therefore some weeks didn’t call for action.  You said you wanted rules to encourage you to go to the gym and now you feel resentful because I’m telling you to go?  Pardon my confusion.  You speak highly of communication but if you feel this way, maybe you should be writing me with suggestions for change instead of merely complaining to your blog buds.  
As far as impatience I think you need to remember there is a difference when two people in real life are involved as opposed to two characters in one head. I know I have probably mentioned it before but I felt impatient for a long time when we weren’t close to being on the same page.  I was wanting a wife while you were wrapped up in being a mother.   Of course that has little bearing on anything you need now, just a reminder how difficult in can be to be in the other’s head.
Although these charges are poorly expressed, I hope you can see some truth. 
Unless you have a strong rebuttal argument, I’ll expect you in the bedroom at 6:00.
Love you 


I met him at 6:00.  I guess I should tell him my thoughts before I tell you guys.

20 comments:

  1. Except for one thing, I agree with everything Nick says. What he says is NOT poorly expressed!
    As a matter of fact I recognize a lot of what I tried to tell you these last months.

    Whatever you got at 6:00, you clearly had it coming.
    I hope that you have a lot of standing up work today.

    Lots of comforting hugs,
    Bas

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  2. I am so glad he emailed you. We women just communicate so very differently-- Worry- worry- worry, having conversations in our head and then they catch up! Nick sounds like he has it all figured out now.
    Happiness.

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  3. I am so glad. I hope that the two of you have a good conversation...well, "conversation" and that you can open your heart to him.

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  4. I agree with Bas. Nick was right on the money. He does seem to be trying very hard. I hope the 6:00 meeting was everything you have been waiting for.

    Hugs,
    Hermione

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  5. Well, alright then.
    It looks like your man is on the job PK. I hope everything went okay.
    I agree with Minelle, as women we worry ourselves silly.
    Hope your meeting was ...... informative and instructive. :)

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  6. Well, I guess he was listening but you weren't hearing. Doesn't that suck when our ears don't work. Hope you are able to sit today.

    Hugs,
    heather1

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  7. Communication is always the key. Glad Nick has read your blog and that you had the 6 pm meeting. Hugs.

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  8. PK,
    seems like just what the doctor ordered.
    I hope that the prescription works.
    Love and warm hugs,
    Paul.

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  9. " I think you need to remember there is a difference when two people in real life are involved as opposed to two characters in one head."

    I like that part. Good for Nick. Good for you!! Hope real life 6 pm was better than the character in your head!

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  10. I have to agree with Bas, Nick expressed himself wonderfully so I hope the conversation went just the way you wanted it to and you've been doing your lessons standing up.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx



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  11. PK, I don't comment often here but wanted to say how glad I am that Nick sent you this email. It sound slike just what you needed in more than one way. Good for both of you.

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  12. COMMUNICATION - I think he did it very well. Now it's your turn to talk to him and LISTEN to what he is not saying as well as what he is.

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  13. Sometimes we forget there is another side to the coin.

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  14. I am so glad that he read your posts and responded. Hope you both get what you need...and happy communicating...

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  15. You wanted to get his attention and it looks like you did. Now it will be interesting to see what happens going forward. Good luck.

    FD

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  16. Sometimes when we think they least hear us, they are listening the hardest. Sometimes we just forget to let them in.

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  17. Bas,
    You have helped me understand so much. I don’t thing I’ve put up a post where I’ve said less. We’re talking.

    Minelle,
    If Nick could hear all that we talk about in my head he would be amazed.

    Ana,
    There have been emails flowing – my best way to communicate.

    Hermione,
    It was a beginning. We have another ‘date’ coming up.

    Lil,
    It was a good conversation starter.

    Heather,
    He was listening and I am grateful.

    SNP,
    I mentioned to him that I never know when he’s reading and when he isn’t. His only answer was, “That’s right.” LOL!

    Paul,
    It wasn’t the solution, but it lead to an excellent beginning.

    Jane,
    I know what he was saying – my fiction is also my addiction. Thursday I’ll see how real life is.

    Ronnie,
    Nick said it all well. I have hope.

    Dancing,
    I was happy to get it; I really thought he’d check out of the whole thing.

    Sunnygirl,
    I’m working on it, honest I am.

    Trazuredpet,
    I appreciate him taking the time to remind me.

    Terps,
    Why does communicating have to be soooooo hard?

    FD,
    That’s what I’m interested in seeing too, what happens now.

    June,
    I know I'm pretty bad about not letting him it. I convince myself he doesn't want to be a part of all this despite what he tells me.

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  18. Bas,
    You have helped me understand so much. I don’t thing I’ve put up a post where I’ve said less. We’re talking.

    Minelle,
    If Nick could hear all that we talk about in my head he would be amazed.

    Ana,
    There have been emails flowing – my best way to communicate.

    Hermione,
    It was a beginning. We have another ‘date’ coming up.

    Lil,
    It was a good conversation starter.

    Heather,
    He was listening and I am grateful.

    SNP,
    I mentioned to him that I never know when he’s reading and when he isn’t. His only answer was, “That’s right.” LOL!

    Paul,
    It wasn’t the solution, but it lead to an excellent beginning.

    Jane,
    I know what he was saying – my fiction is also my addiction. Thursday I’ll see how real life is.

    Ronnie,
    Nick said it all well. I have hope.

    Dancing,
    I was happy to get it; I really thought he’d check out of the whole thing.

    Sunnygirl,
    I’m working on it, honest I am.

    Trazuredpet,
    I appreciate him taking the time to remind me.

    Terps,
    Why does communicating have to be soooooo hard?

    FD,
    That’s what I’m interested in seeing too, what happens now.

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  19. June,
    Not believing he's listening is something I do too often.

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  20. Sometimes we have to do drastic things dont we to get something we want/need. Yeah for NIck for stepping up....he made some very fair points...and it just goes to show communication is the most important thing in ttwd....let us know what happens next....have you thought about weekly maintenance for those times there is no reason for him to spank you? After all there ARE times when we can and do behave ;)those weekly reminders are a God send.
    Love and hugs kiwi xxx

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