Talking about sex can improve your love life!

When I first found blogs and came out to Nick I pretty much felt like a teenager with her first love. I wasn’t sexually active as a teen. I missed out on the ‘locker room/pajama party’ talks, at least in a first hand way. I enjoyed listening but couldn’t really contribute. By the time I was sexually active I was in my mid-20’s and since we were grown up ‘talking’ about it with my friends wasn’t something we did. But jump ahead 20 some year and I find blogs. WOW! I had found a place where people were not only talking about sex – they were talking about sex and spanking!! Throw me in the briar patch!!

Everyone was anonymous, we weren’t looking one another in the eye so we talked about EVERYTHING! We talked about orgasms and how to have more and better ones. We discussed female ejaculation – not a discussion of if it happened, but talking with friends for whom this was the norm. We discussed different erogenous zones, sexy movies to watch, we discussed sex toys and spanking implements, and vibrators. We talked of nipple clamps, ways to improve the taste of a blow jobs. We discussed enemas, and anal sex. We wrote about our spanking play sessions and our love making including some of the more exciting places we had been spanked or we had made love.

One summer Nick and I drove to the mountains and found a spot way up on a secluded hillside, behind a large rock to do a little spanking and love making it the great outdoors. Would we have done that if I hadn’t been talking to all my friends about their most exciting places? Probably not. Would we have even done it if somewhere in the back of my mind I wasn’t looking forward to sharing the story with my friends? Again, probably not. It seemed easier then with my closest friends before we had met face to face. Was it crude, yeah. Immature, I guess. But I know it really helped me open up and realize that anything that went on between two consenting adults that made them both happy was just fine.

But the most of these friends I talked with don’t choose to talk about these things any more. I completely understand, but I miss the conversations anyway. It helped to keep my mind engaged and thinking. So all this doesn’t answer my question about what I need to do now to return to that interest and excitement. I’m guessing that at my age I won’t be meeting tons of people that are going to talk about sexploits with me again. So I’m going to have to work on this myself. Now I've done all this thinking it's time to come up with some thoughts about what we should be doing to keep all the wonderful parts of our marriage going and continue to explore with Nick about ways to press on with our journey to keep the passion and excitement alive in our marriage.