I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Thursday, November 25, 2010

:( Morning, Afternoon :)

*There will be a brand new Fantasy Friday story tomorrow. I hope you’ll have the chance to come back and read sometime this weekend.

Thank you for popping in on Thanksgiving Day. I hope you will be able to be with family and friends sometime today. I’m thankful for many, many things this year - my family, my health, and my friends. I want you to know I am very grateful for the friends that come by and read here. We may never meet, but the support I feel from here is very important to me.

We will be heading to Nick’s parents later today. Meanwhile I have a dreaded task this morning. We replaced the dishwasher and this morning Nick and I will be installing it. We’ve done this before. Nick is more than capable but I do NOT enjoy my role as assistant. When we had the old one repaired and had to reinstall it 4 years ago I wrote the follow, ‘Ode to a Repairman’. Considering what I’m going to be going through this morning I thought I’d repost it. I think many of us – men and women will see the truth in it.


‘Ode to a Re
pair Man’


or

How to help your HOH replace a dishwasher
while the pipes under the sink fall apart as he touches them.




Have you ever tried to help install or replace a dishwasher, or some other appliance? I have some tips:

Rule one – Shut up! He does not want your help verbally; he does not want your opinion, your suggestions or anything else from you that requires speech!

Do stay close! This is not the time to sit at the computer and laugh your ass off at someone’s post, relax in front of the tube or chat on the phone to a friend. This is especially true if the phone conversation includes how long it is taking to get the appliance installed. (see rule one)

Other helpful hints would include learning the names of basic tools. If he asks for a wrench, he does not want the needle nose pliers. Do not ask “Well can’t you just use that?” (see rule one)

Realize that 99% of his questions are rhetorical and do not require an answer. Questions like “Where did I put the damn screw?” “Why is this piece of shit falling apart?” and “Who needs a fucking dishwasher in the first place?” should not be answered! (see rule one)

Try to keep the flash light shinning in the direction he is looking. If you stare longing back toward the computer the light will veer away from the correct spot. If he grabs it out of you hand, don’t say “Your head got in the way!”(see rule one)

Lastly but not least - all finger gestures must be done out of sight of the HOH and comments like ‘Bite me’ and ‘Kiss my ass’, while perfectly acceptable, must be said in you head, not muttered aloud! (see rule one)

I sure hope I can remember all these rules (especially rule one) and we can get the darn thing in!

8 comments:

  1. That's funny - and true!

    Happy Thanks-dishwasher-giving!

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  2. LOL PK, so true. Thanks for the laugh.

    Happy Thanksgiving, enjoy the holidays.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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  3. Happy thanksgiving, PK. Enjoy your feast today!

    Hugs,
    Hermione

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  4. PK: Happy Thanksgiving. Enjoy your family time.

    And enjoyed your Ode. Still can't believe you are installing it yourself.

    FD

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  5. PK, can't remember my comment last time, I wish that I could teach my wife rule one!!!!
    Have a great Thanksgiving.
    Love and warm hugs,
    Paul.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Oh...been there...done that!

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  7. Happy Thanksgiving PK! Actually, I have installed sinks, toilets, dishwashers, lighting- I love doing it all. You learn to do all kinds of handyman things when your husband is gone all the time.

    Katia

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  8. B’Man,
    We got it installed and yes these rules are very, very true!

    Ronnie,
    Thanksgiving was great. Ate way too much but everything was so good!

    Hermione,
    Feast is right. My MIL is such a wonderful cook!

    FD,
    Truly Nick can do anything. It’s installed now and it was nearly painlessly.

    Paul,
    This is one lesson I learned well. For one thing Nick knows what he’s doing and I don’t so keeping my mouth shut seems like a good idea.

    Mthc,
    What? And you don’t want the t – shirt?

    Katia,
    If you can do all that you have the right to speak up during installation! I, on the other hand, need to stay quiet.

    ReplyDelete