Saturday, September 30, 2006

Mothers and Daughters

Thing were way easier in olden days. A hundred years ago girls didn’t usually start their periods until they were 13 or 14. Many planned to marry by 16, and have children by 20. This plan worked well for centuries. But of course modern people have managed to screw up this plan. Girls are beginning their periods at 10 or even younger. We also encourage our daughters not to marry early. I would love my daughter to wait until her mid-twenties. But this gives a good dozen years or so for crushes, boyfriends, dating, petting, peer pressure, necking, chat rooms, blogging , and other things designed to make me panic and fight the urge to lock her away for years. I didn’t have Mollie until I was in my mid-thirties and one thing I know for sure:

*God never intended for puberty and menopause to live in the same house.*

Mollie is going to be 14 this month. She wants to create a ‘Myspace’ for herself on the computer. I have reservations! What if she falls in among people who write about sex and kinky stuff? Alright, alright I know that perfectly normal. But this is my baby!! She is not boy crazy at this time thank goodness! She says that she can fix it on Myspace were only the people she allows to come on can. She says she wants to talk to her cousins and a few friends from school and she says that she will give me the password so that I can come on it and check it out anytime. She wants me to talk to her dad for her. One reason I don't want her to have it is completely selfish, I don't want to share my computer time. I us it a lot! I have bought myself some time by telling her that I won’t talk to him about it until her room is clean. If things go as they usually do I should be safe until she is 16! But the little fink can clean fast when something she wants is at stake.

For those of you who have raised girls – HELP!! The boy was sooooooooo easy. He and I have the same personality. Very laid back, can find humor in almost anything and he simply did anything I ever asked him to just because I asked. Mollie’s personality is more prickly! She is mad about everything so much of the time and she would argue with a fence post. I love this girl better than life. But I think these teen years will be a trial!! Wish me luck!!

Written by PK at 8:46 AM

11 comments

11 Comments:

At 10:19 AM, Blogger Theresa said...

I would be concerned she would stumble onto my blog. Buy a second pc they are cheap now. I can't tell you how much safer I feel now that my son has his own. I am glad I raised a boy too. You and your son sound just like me and mine.

OK funny story. Girl I worked with married to a minister. They raised the boy, now the girl is in puberty. One night while lying in bed, the minister ask his wife..."do you even like her?" She told me this story when I interviewed her for a job! I think I tell it more than she does. It cracks me up.

Sounds like Mollie is a pretty trustworthy and good kid though....even if she is a girl!

Hugs
Theresa

 
At 12:45 PM, Blogger Eva said...

Elis~ I'm not an expert here but I did raise 3 girls who have turned out very well. They are 24, 22, and 21 now. Hard to believe. I'm GLAD I'm done raising them and yes those teen years were very tough. Couple things....

At this stage it's important not that she have a computer of her own but that you do!! I always had my computer and one in another room for the kids. Never in their bedroom. First floor. Plain sight and they knew I had to have access to everything they did. If they ever cleared their history, they were toast. If that means buying another, then by all means do it! I was fortunate in that my school sold some really good used ones to employees for next to nothing. Seriously though, spend the money and get another.

AND the fact that she's willing to give you access to her myspace account shows maturity on her part. Tell her you will be checking it daily. And then do it. Trust her till she proves herself to not be trustworthy but don't let go of the reigns until she's paying her own bills.

Eva

 
At 1:48 PM, Blogger A.S.S. said...

Eva had some great tips. Keep the second computer in plain sight. And then, use her password to check out what she's doing. Keep in mind, too... she's exposed to computers everywhere she goes. Better to give her a space that you can keep tabs on.

:)
~Todd & Suzy

 
At 4:52 PM, Blogger Paul said...

Dear Elis, no children of my own, but I watched Mel's sister raise three girls and they were hellions, all three, the worst was the eldest, I remember at fourteen her father looked at her and said, "life, but not as we know it". That girl is now thirty five, the mother of five, four boys and a girl, and my best friend. One of the best and nicest human being I know, if I had a daughter I'd like her to be just like her.
So dear Elis no matter how ugly a duckling they may be now, they often grow up to be a swan.
Warm hugs,
Paul.

 
At 9:36 PM, Blogger grace said...

Hello dear Girl, Welcome to my HELL, opps, I mean world! HEHE

Ok, here's my 2 cents, from the woman with an almost 16 year old girl, that is boy crazy and beautiful, and I have to beat them off with a stick, and my daughter knows more about computers than I do, and we share a computer, and....well, I think you get the picture.

Anyway, All my stuff is password protected. She cannot get into my profile, Bossman has made sure of it. The kids have their own profile. The computer is also in the living room. We are in the livingroom constantly, so there is no way she could do something without someone noticing.

Myspace can be safe. I have one of my own, and NO you can't see it! But I did that because I wanted to be able to check on my daughter. Some of her friends thought it was cool to have my daughters mother as a friend, so they are on my friends list. Your daughter can set her space on private. What this means is when someone clicks on her website, it will show her pic, if she has one but it won't show anything else on her site. Only people that she accepts as friends will be able to see her full site. SOOOOO, as long as you can look at her friends list, you see everyone that can veiw her profile. NOW, that's not to say that people can't still request to be her friend, and strangers can still message her. BUT my daughter deletes any messages from people she doesn't know. And she doesn't accept anyone on as a friend that she doesn't know. If I see a face I don't recognize then I ask who it is, where she knows them from and I WANT DETAILS! Otherwise, they get deleted!

I check her space frequently and often. She knows I do. As parents we have to protect our kids as much as possible.

One thing I know about teens is, if they want something they will get it. My daughter has friends that are NOT allowed myspaces, but they have one anyway, they just check them at the library or at friends houses. So I'd rather let my daughter have one, one that I can check than to have her sneaking around talking to god knows who, on the internet!

If you have any more questions about myspace, email me, I will tell you all I know, which isn't really that much, but it's all I've got to give!

HUGS!
grace

 
At 10:38 AM, Blogger frhe sjgg said...

I don't know -- but good luck ! You brought up some valid concerns !
Sincerely,
Anne Elizabeth

 
At 7:57 PM, Blogger New Beginnings said...

Thanks for the suggestions and the support. Nothing about this is going to be real easy but steady as she goes. Sounds like we will be waiting until we get another computer. We will call it Nick's but we can let her use his and he and I can check out whatever we want to on mine.

It helps knowing some of you have survived this very thing!

Elis

 
At 9:42 PM, Blogger Caryagal said...

ahhhhh you're scaring me! I had my first daughter at 33 also! She is only 7 now. I'm not ready to think about Menopause and puberty in the same household! I also have a daughter that is 2-1/2.... My 7-1/2 year old is already teaching me things on the computer... and I work on the computer for my job!

Good luck!!! I think I'll hide in the 7 year old world for a while longer!

Caryagal

 
At 11:19 PM, Blogger New Beginnings said...

Caryagal,

I may tend to blog about the problems and not the good stuff and there is plenty of good stuff!

But the puberty/menopause is not the best. Hopefully we can be crazy on different days!

Elis

 
At 2:37 PM, Anonymous Mistress Sky said...

Elis,

I know what you mean! I think a second PC would be a great investment, sweetie :) It won't hurt Mollie to wait till you get another!

Hugs
Sky

 
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