I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Saturday, July 06, 2013

We've lost a friend, rest in peace Bas

I’m sorry everyone, its the news we were all dreading. I just got this email from Bas’ wife Lisa,

With pain in my heart I have to tell you that Bas has passed away peacefully. Could you please execute Bas' last whish to tell it to the others. Thank you for that.

At this moment I have an emotional busy time, I'll contact later when I have the strength.

I wrote her back,

My heart go out to you and your children. I know there is so much that you have to do now. I'll do as Bas asked regarding everyone out here. Don't worry about answering this email. I know you need your time and space. I hope you don't mind if I check in on you after a bit of time has passed.  There will be many who will want to send you their sympathies. I will gather these together and send them on to you later in an email you can read whenever you would like.

Thank you for taking the time to let me know. We all loved Bas, and we know how much he loved you.  That makes you special to us too.

I'll be in touch, if there is anything I can do or anyone out here, please let me know.

Much love,

Several months ago, Bas asked me if I would put up a final post for him, one he wrote for when the time came. It's on his site now. You can leave comments for Lisa there or email them to me and I’ll be sure she gets them.

Sunday or Monday I’m putting up a post telling how Bas and I first met. You all know he made a huge impression on all of us. This is true from the very moment he contacted me. I want to tell you all about it.


  1. My heart goes out to Lisa and his children as well as to all of our blog land family...this very special man will be greatly missed.

    Hugs and Blessings,

  2. It is a sad day for all of us. How lucky we are to have had the pleasure of knowing such a fine man. Bas' wit, kindness and good humour made a difference to many. That is what it is all about!

    Rest in peace, friend! We won't forget you. Much love and hugs to Lisa, Bas' family, to you, PK, and to all of us who have shared in his friendship. He will be missed! <3 Katie

  3. PK, thank you for being there for Bas and Lisa, and for carrying this responsibility to share with us. I know how difficult it is, and what an honor. Bless you. Hugs and much love.

    Godspeed, my dear stranger-friend. Thank you for touching my life with such gentlemanly class.


  4. I am so sad. I understand that he is finally at peace, however, his family must miss him so much already. He was one of the best people I know. He always had a kind word, even while pointing out the truth to you. I will miss him so much.

  5. We knew it was coming, and yet it is still a shock.

    Bas, we love you.

    Lisa and family, no matter how strange it may sound, we love you, too.

    PK, thank you so much for letting us know. Hugs.

  6. Bas was one in a million, he always brought a smile to my blog. I have been thinking of him, and Lisa and family, that new little grand-baby, with a heavy heart. My prayers and love to all of you.
    hugs abby

  7. PK, I am so sorry to hear this. As Ana said, we knew it was coming, but that doesn't make it any less of a shock. Thank you for being such a wonderful friend to Bas and Lisa, and for sharing with us. We have indeed lost a very special friend and I join hands with my entire blog family right now.

    Prayers for comfort and healing go to Lisa and family and love to you PK and all of my blog friends.

    Thank you Bas for enriching our lives with your presence. You will be greatly missed and will remain in our hearts.


  8. I'm so sorry to hear such sad news. Lisa and family are in my prayers.


  9. Thank you PK for informing us. Thank you even more for encouraging Bas to blog in the first place. He was a treasure, for sure.

  10. He made an impression on us all. Thank you, PK, for introducing him, and being our link to him and Lisa.

  11. Anonymous1:52 AM

    Such sad news.

    Rest in peace our dear friend. You'll always be in our hearts and minds.

    Hugs to Lisa and family.


  12. This comment has been removed by the author.

  13. We lost a treasure and heaven has definitely gained an angel. I feel blessed for having known him.

  14. Dear PK, :). I know that I've already written something here, but I wanted to revisit after reading Bas' post. Hope that it's ok:

    Thank you for putting up Bas' last post! Thank you for being his friend, for writing your blog and for touching his heart those many years ago, and in present time. You brought us a friend who shared his wisdom and love with many. He set a fine example of what it means to be a man; a good, loving, honest man who loved his Lisa, and told it like it was with kindness and love. I know that your heart is aching. I am pretty sure that I can speak for everyone here when I say that ours is too. We will truly miss him. We already do.

    We are here for you PK, and for Bas' Lisa, and for eachother; with hugs, a kind word, and an ear to listen whenever it is needed. Giant hugs and love sent your way! I am thinking of you. And thank you! :)

    <3 Katie

  15. I didn't know Bas in the way that many of you did, but I often read his comments and laughed along with you. It is so sad to lose one of the community, but lovely that PK helped bring him into it. My thoughts are with you all. xx

  16. I 'met' Bas when I met Anastasia Vitskey and did a post over Christmas of last year. It was over moving to Holland and loss and such and I still remember Bas' comment, it was really extraordinary and hit the mark. I'm sorry to hear the sad news and wish the family the best.


  17. Thank you PK. Like everyone else I am very sad and will miss Bas and his cheerful comments. His passing has left a big hole in blogland. We are here for Lisa and his family, and send prayers, blessings and hugs to them at this time. He was a wonderful person and I feel better for having known him.



  18. Such sad news. Thank you for telling us.


  19. Oh PK. Such a loss. He will be so missed.

    My hear go our to Lisa and family. Please tell her we are thinking of them all.

    Thank you.


  20. Thank you PK for passing along the very sad news. I pray for peace and comfort to fill and surround Lisa, and the rest of Bas's family. Though I was really only a lurker, I came to love Bas and Lisa as I read his blog and came to know and relate to him He was so honest and open and seemed to write from his heart. He genuinely cared about so many others. I admired him and looked forward to reading his posts.I was saddened to realize he was not well and already missed him in the blogs as I began praying for him and his family. His passing brings pain to my heart and tears to my eyes. He will be missed.

    Just J

  21. PK,
    thanks for this.
    I join in the prayers and thoughts of our Blog family for Lisa and his family.
    Love and warm hugs,

  22. PK, thank you so much for being such a dear friend not only to Bas and Lisa, but also to us. Our prayers are with all of you.

  23. PK, thank-you for being such a wonderful friend to all of us, for sharing with us and for sharing of yourself, and for your encouragement to share our own stories. I am so grateful that through your friendship, many of us got the courage to start our own blogs, myself included. And we got to know Bas who filled us with light and a love story to aspire to. The first time he called me "his dancing muse" I was tickled and I don't think I ever recovered. It seems silly but it made me feel loved and accepted as a friend. My heart goes out to Lisa and family and to all who loved him. Much love and hugs, Terpsichore

  24. So sorry to hear the sad news.


  25. I am very sorry to hear about Bas. I didn't know him as most of you but have read his comments and thought he seemed like a very nice man. My thoughts and prayers go out to his family.

    Thanks, PK, for letting us know.

  26. Anonymous11:03 AM

    Dearest PK,
    My heart is aching for Lisa and family and my prayers are with them. I managed to get through the last post on Bas's site, so I am a watering pot as I write this ......
    I wanted to send you my sympathy, PK - I know you and he shared a very special friendship and although you knew the inevitable would someday be upon us, that never really helps when you realize that day is here.
    May you find comfort in your memories of Bas and the wonderfully special friendship you built through the magic of internet waves....may you be unburdened by the knowledge that a community mourns with you.
    Hugs and Love,

  27. PK, thank you for your notification, thank you for convincing Bas to join our community and for giving us the gift of Him!! He will be so missed. I am sorry for your loss. I know he meant a lot to you and you to him. I am sorry that Lisa has lost her Bas, he adored her!

    Hugs to you PK!!

  28. Thank you, PK, for sharing this sad news. I thank you as well for bringing him here. Bas meant a great deal to many of us. As my small tribute, I intend to take his final message to heart and "keep blogging." I encourage anyone else who is so inclined to do the same.


  29. Thank you PK for letting us all know. What sad news, I feel honoured to have known Bas even though it was for a short time and feel so sad for Lisa. God bless
    love Jan.xx

  30. Pk, thank you for bringing our beloved Bas in this community.

  31. Anonymous8:06 PM

    PK thank you for letting us know. Such sad news. My heart and prayers go out to Lisa and family in this sad time.


  32. Thanks PK, and great giant (((hugs))). I know that Bas and Lisa appreciate the help, and all of us appreciate you letting us know. I know that this is a hard time for you as well. All of Bas' loved ones are in our thoughts and prayers.


  33. Thank you, PK, for sharing Bas' last words to us. They meant so much to me, and I know to so many others, to hear those words. That he still thought of us, and cared so much about this community to have that message for us, he was such a great guy. He will be truly missed. I can't thank you enough for the friend you have been to him, and how you were keyly involved in his joining blogland. For that, I will be ever thankful. Thank you for sharing this with us as well, as hard as it would have been to pass along. {{{HUGS}}}

  34. I really appreciate everyone coming by. Bas was a wonderful friend to all of us and we'll all be here for each other, remembering him.

  35. My condolances to all who knew Bas... may all the well wishes from around the world help heal the broken hearts within the family...

  36. Anonymous8:44 PM

    Hi. I'm a long time lurker - don't post a whole lot on anyone's blogs. I have been away from reading for a couple of months with an eye issue and just came back on (finally!) this last week. Catching up on the blogs I follow (of which yours is one). I'm sooooo sorry to hear of Bas' passing. His responses were always so bang on and humourous at the same time as being scolding (when needed). I would have loved to read his last post, but I'm guessing it's been too long and I can no longer access his blog :-( Thank you for having a place I could leave my condolences.


    1. Wifarf,
      As Bas requested I took his blog off line a month after he died. I couldn't bring myself to delete it so I took it private with only his wife Lisa able to read it. But If you feel comfortable sharing your email with me I can send you a copy of his last post. My email is elisspeaks@yahoo.com. I'm glad you're able to read again and that your eye's better.