I’m feeling better today. Getting back to school hasn’t been my favorite thing, but the school year is on the down hill slope. I’ll survive. I’ve really enjoyed teaching social studies this year, not nearly as stressful as teaching math. As for Miss T and Mr. K, well I’ve tried my best to ignore them for most of the year. It’s worked pretty well. My other partner, Megan, is a jewel and some days teaching is almost as much fun as it used to be.
The problem I mentioned in my last post, however, hasn’t gone away. What happened is that three of my best friends in the world hurt my feelings badly. These are real life friends that I see often; we’ve been close for decades. In trying to find a way to deal with it, I planned to do what I normally do when someone hurts me – I was going to shove it down and pretend it never happened. That hasn’t worked well; I just can’t stop thinking about it and every time I do I start to tear up.
The reason I’m feeling better is that I’ve decided to write them. I need to tell them how much they hurt me and explain the situations exactly the way I see it. I think writing the letter will be very cathartic for me. I need to point out to them what they did and explain why it was so hurtful. Writing the letter is something I need to do for me. Whether or not I’ll ever let them see the letter is another decision entirely. Writing it may be enough.
Mollie heads back to school later today and I guess our lives go back to normal. I’m hoping I can get back to eating better (less) and exercising more. Maybe Nick and I will even have the chance to do more than nod as we pass in the hall. PK, Badass and Wimpy are still away and they have my libido in tow, but surely they’ll think of coming back now that things have settled down. Cross your fingers.