Sunday, January 20, 2013

To all my readers - an important post

I write all my post hoping all my readers will enjoy them and maybe think or laugh a little.  But today, and maybe for the next few post, I want to talk to a part of my reader that I’m afraid we often ignore.  One of my friends knows she inspired all these thoughts and that they are directed at her – but it also for many of my other readers.

I’d bet 99% of those of us out here, bloggers and readers, found ourselves here after looking up ‘spanking’ on the Internet, (back in my day all you could do was look up spanking in the dictionary and lust after the definition, but now I’m really showing my age.)  I’m assuming that if you’re reading here you are a spanko – or have at least admitted to yourself that the idea of spanking or being spanked pulls at you whether you want it to or not.

Most of us blogging are being spanked, sometimes more than we’d like, sometimes less, but we’ve found some way to incorporate TTWD in our lives.  But that wasn’t true for me when I first found blogs.  At that time I had never had an adult spanking, Nick knew nothing about my desire and I wasn’t ever planning on telling him.  I loved what I was reading, was memorized, in fact.  But I certainly didn’t feel like I was a part of it.

I felt a lot like a kid with her face pressed against a candy store window watching the kids inside help themselves to all the delights I wanted. One part of me was happy for them, but I also felt a little jealous and left out. 

I had no one to spank me, no stories to relate, no misdeed that I could write about and speculate on what an appropriate punishment might be. I was not getting fun spankings, sexy spankings, punishment spanking, no one wanted to control (or protect) me. I felt couldn’t even comment on these thing with no experience to back it up. My feelings were, 'What could I say that was of any value or significance to these people who are actually living it?'

Bob said in an email the other day that as he began reading more and commenting some that he hadn’t realized what a close-knit community we really were. I love that we are seen in that way, but I don’t ever what my reader to feel like it’s an exclusive community.  If that were true we’d all go private and just talk to one another.  We have public blogs because we want other to feel comfortable joining the discussion.

I reposted this on facebook the other day.  The LGBT community created it, but I think it applies for well for those of us in the spanko world as well.  This is the real reason I blog.

Now if you feel like you are in this group of readers (as I once was) I have several assignments for you.  I’ll just give the first two today (wish I could promise each of you a spanking if you don’t follow through, but…)

Assignment one: Reread this post.  Think about it. Realize that you are a part of us whether you let your voice be heard or not, and also realize that we will all be stronger if our community grows with the thoughts of all our members.

Assignment two: Come back tomorrow for your next assignment.

Written by PK at 6:00 PM



At 1:50 AM, Blogger Cat said...

Hi PK - I don't always comment but do come visit a lot and will be back tomorrow for our next assignment. Sure hope there's no test cause I have horrible 'test anxiety'. ;)


At 3:48 AM, Blogger Joolz said...

Great post PK and so true. Strangely I was lying in bed this morning thinking that I personally engage in a number of practices often thought to be somewhat taboo. Spanking is no exception I want to be able to share TTWD and that's one of the reasons my blog is online not written somewhere private xx

At 5:16 AM, Blogger joeyred51 said...

I read your posts very often. I agree with you and really like the thought represented in the poster.


At 5:40 AM, Blogger Ami Starsong said...

PK, I just want to say that I started just like you did! I think that is why is was so hard for me to explain to Starman what I wanted. This is why he won't be pushed. And unlike Bob, he told me today that he just doesn't want to read the blogs, not even mine. He says he trust me and knows that I'll talk to him about what I am reading and writing, but that he feels at the moment, he just can't join in. His greatest concern is that he 'doesn't know if the people I talk to are who they purport to be'. As long as I am safe he is okay, but that is how things have to stay for the present time. I actually am going to read your post out to him!

Many hugs,


At 5:44 AM, Blogger Roz said...

Wonderful post PK. I agree as well and also agree with the words in the poster. Everybody has a unique voice and something to add in this community. The more voices we can add the better.


At 6:55 AM, Blogger Paul said...

I know exactly where you are coming from.
The online community was a revelation to me.
It's somewhere where I know that I belong, and is very important to me.
I think that you know I will be back tomorrow.
I saw that post on Face-book and of course I agree.
Love and warm hugs,

At 6:57 AM, Blogger Bas said...

PK, I have been pressing my face to that candy store window for years. Never thought that I could fit in. I just didn't meet any of the conditions of your average TTWD blogger. But when I accidentally rolled in, it was like a warm bath. I have never felt so welcome anywhere before.
Thank you and many hugs,

At 9:09 AM, Blogger TL Bucko said...

Great post PK! I was one of those quiet ones for a long time. Sometimes the best feeling is knowing you are not alone.

At 9:14 AM, Blogger faerie said...

Blogland did seem kind of an intimidating place when I first found it. I find this post and your upcoming assignment very intriguing. Can't wait to see what it will be :)

At 9:51 AM, Blogger ians mrs said...

Wonderful post, PK...I felt very welcomed here, as well - like Bas. It is like coming home to a community where everyone is accepting and loving.
You are a huge part of that welcome wagon, PK - thanks, my friend.

At 10:13 AM, Blogger sunnygirl said...

Very thought provoking post PK. I started just as you, googling, reading, commenting and then blogging. I felt welcomed and accepted. We don't do dd but ttwd like the rest of us. I love that we are all different, have different views, opinions, lifestyles but are supportive of each other I've been doing this for appx 18 months and I love seeing the new people who join our community. We each have something to learn and teach each other. How great is that.

At 10:54 AM, Blogger Terpsichore said...

I am reading...and re-reading...and I will return tomorrow for the next assignment. I know and appreciate what a wonderful community this is and I value the sentiment about sharing to show others they are not alone and how much of a precious gift that knowledge of not being alone has been to me since the first time I ventured here several years ago. I can't help but to wonder based on conversations we've had if perhaps, in little part I am one of the readers this post is directed towards...Anways, you always bring up wonderful thoughts to ponder so thank-you. :-) Hugs, Terpsichore

At 1:02 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

We are not yet a DD couple and like your past, I have not the tiniest bit of spanking experience. Interested in coming back for assignment two :) Much appreciate all of you who are willing to blog for those of us trying to figure it all out.

At 2:08 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Thank-you for this PK, it really spoke to me.
I have no experience of spanking, and no one in my life at present who I could share such things with, even if I were brave enough to. But reading blogs has helped me recognize this part of myself and begin to explore it, at least in my thoughts. I hope that by reading and exploring this side of myself while I'm on my own, eventually when I'm in a relationship I will be brave enough to share and explore with someone else.
I don't necessarily feel comfortable commenting as I have zero real life experience, but I am most definitely reading!

At 4:29 PM, Blogger SNP said...

What a nice post and I can see from the comments several REALLY appreciated your post! The picture/word inserted here from Facebook says a lot. There are several in blog land that I would hold up "cornerstone" type people and you are certainly one of them. Thanks for your warm welcome to anyone new and your FF service for all. Hugs and enjoy the rest of your Sunday.

At 4:39 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I read and reread the assignment and I would like to thank every one for excepting me into the spanking fold.

PK thank you for poking and prodding me to post because without you I would still be a lurker never saying any thing.


At 6:57 PM, Blogger Florida Dom said...

PK: You continue to be so good at offering advice to members of this community. I am sure many of your readers will appreciate your insight into this lifestyle. Keep up the good work.


At 7:35 PM, Blogger Catrinka said...

I appreciated this post so much!
Looking forward to tomorrow's post.

At 8:17 PM, Blogger Bonnie said...

Great post, PK. I wholeheartedly agree.

I've often told newcomers that everyone can learn and everyone can teach. No matter how inexperienced someone might think they are, even if they only think they might like to try spanking, there is someone else who has yet to reach that stage and could benefit from their insight. On the flip side, even those of us who have been active for decades can still discover amazing new variations.

As for being inclusive, we can all help to make new friends feel welcome. We love new bloggers and new commenters, but our lurkers are valued too. I think we say this, but we should keep saying it. Newbies, this is your community too.


At 8:39 PM, Blogger PK said...

I love it when you come by. No test, I promise!

At 8:41 PM, Blogger PK said...

I know this is my true self - the one I share on line. Maybe I'd be accepted by real life friends if they knew all, but here I'm sure. i can just be me.

At 8:43 PM, Blogger PK said...

Glad you're here. I was so happy when I found people who understood my desires. I wasn't alone any more.

At 8:46 PM, Blogger PK said...

I really do understand his concerns. But I hope eventually he'll decide to do a little reading on his own. Nick began reading after I started blogging and still does sometimes. We both met people through the blogs who we've met in real life. It's been an interesting ride.

At 8:48 PM, Blogger PK said...

You're right. I just want everyone to know that we want to hear from them.

At 8:50 PM, Blogger PK said...

I know that this community mean a lot to both of us, we found a home and friends here. And you and I, we've been through a lot out here.

At 8:52 PM, Blogger PK said...

You are such a special part of our family. You looked far too long before you jumped in - you should have been spanked. I'm just really glad you are here now.

At 8:54 PM, Blogger PK said...

I think just finding the blogs here brought me a certain peace, joining in was ever better, glad you're talking now.

At 8:56 PM, Blogger PK said...

I don't want the wonderful place to be intimidating to anyone. I'm happy you jumped right in.

At 9:03 PM, Blogger PK said...

I love talking to new people. I so appreciate the people who made me feel so welcomed when I first came here.

At 9:11 PM, Blogger PK said...

I have friends that range from living as slaves to those who spank for the sheer pleasure of it. This is a great place to share our differences and our similarities.

At 9:13 PM, Blogger PK said...

Yes Terps!
You sparked this post. Mostly you and a few other I've talked to. You have been here a long time and I always love hearing from you. I'd love for you to have more friends who are in similar circumstances.

At 9:15 PM, Blogger PK said...

Just realize that as we blog we are STILL trying to figure it all our. I'm glad you're coming back and I really hope you'll try the assignments.

At 9:17 PM, Blogger PK said...

So good to hear from you! I want you to read assignment two very carefully! I think you are right in everything you said about exploring on your own. I just want those of us with these feelings to realize how many other feel the same way.

At 9:23 PM, Blogger PK said...

I thank you for saying that. I do love being able to share Fantasy Friday. I didn't come up with the idea, someone else started it and gave it to me when she quit blogging.

At 9:25 PM, Blogger PK said...

Good for you! I do have a way of pushing people into talking to us out here. I've been called a bully, but I don't mind that either! Glad you're here.

At 9:27 PM, Blogger PK said...

I don't know about advice, except to join us - then the community itself takes over and makes everyone feel welcomed.

At 9:27 PM, Blogger PK said...

So glad you commented. Looking forward to hearing from you tomorrow, hope you'll do the assignments.

At 9:29 PM, Blogger PK said...

My thoughts exactly - we can all learn from one another. It's like at my school, the old teachers have much experience and some insight into some problems, but the new teachers often have the enthusiasm and great new ideas.

At 9:43 PM, Blogger Meg said...

PK -- Thank you for this post! I've appreciated everyone's blogs and thank you all.

At 10:22 PM, Blogger PK said...

Thanks for coming by. I hope you'll be by tomorrow.

At 11:04 PM, Blogger Blue Bird said...

Great post PK!
I stumbled across this community 7 months ago. After reading for several months I found the courage to ask a question. I was shaking as I typed. Why? I don't know. It wasn't like anyone could see me or knew who I was. But I discovered an incredibly open and supportive community that I have never experienced before. Can't wait for next post!
Blue Bird

At 11:39 PM, Blogger Lea said...

Well said, PK. There are times I've kept myself from commenting on things I've read either because I didn't have much knowledge on the subject or felt like I was intruding with all the back and forth comments of people who seemed to be close. But I've never encountered a blogger who has purposely had that attitude.

At 11:56 PM, Blogger Minelle Labraun said...

I am freaking, I do not understand how I missed this post.
This community has filled such a big part of my life since writing to you!
I hid my thoughts and desire/ feelings for most of my life. Reading in the dark. Even though I actually did get spanked, it wasn't more than threats, quick attitude or resetting of our humor ajustments so to speak.
Okay teach ready for tomorrow!

At 12:00 AM, Blogger PK said...

Blue Bird,
I know exactly what you mean, I felt exactly the same way the first time I commented or asked a question and now it sure does feel like home.

At 12:04 AM, Blogger Catrinka said...

Since I only recently came out of the Lurker's Closet, I have no doubt I'll find your assignments interesting.

At 12:05 AM, Blogger PK said...

That's what has worried me - I don't ever want anyone to feel that way. Because the secret is, none of us has all the answers either! So many of my comments help me realize things I've been trying to figure out.

At 12:08 AM, Blogger PK said...

Hey Minelle,
I did kinda wonder where you were. If I am a teacher here you are one of my best pupils!

At 1:31 AM, Anonymous Eclipse said...

Thank you for this post. Although I have already commented on a few blogs, most of the time I kinda feel out of place doing it, like who am I to give these people any advice? (or not even advice, just leave a comment). I appreciate you wrote this, I think it's "tomorrow" already, I will check your next post!

At 2:07 AM, Blogger kiwigirliegirl said...

i love the sentiment of the pic :) fabulous. I love this post PK....yes i started googling spanking and somehow by some luck I found spanking blogs, and the more i read the more i knew DD was for me....then i found the courage to start asking questions...the main question was how to ask my husband to spank me...i think we all relate to that question...then i started commenting more and more and more, then suddenly i started blogging myself..becuase i found my comments were more like posts themselves and here i am now...all thanks to you and this lovely wonderful community we have...and the more the merrier

At 7:58 PM, Blogger Kady said...

This is a beautiful invitation! I know this community is close, as I have so many friends here. Thanks for making some of us "lurkers" feel welcome to comment, and encouraging those that haven't quite found their way into spanking yet to find a way to embrace this lifestyle. Finding blogs helped me to feel like a "normal" person even though I carried a secret desire. JJ and I have come a long way in the past three years, and I owe the blogging community a lot for the confidence it has given us. Thanks PK!

At 8:08 PM, Blogger PK said...

No one is out of place here! We just want friend to discuss all this stuff with.

At 8:14 PM, Blogger PK said...

That's what I want others to fined. What you and I have all ready discovered here in blogland.

At 8:34 PM, Blogger PK said...

I just want everyone to feel free to talk and feel at home. We are all so normal and sometimes we didn't feel that way before we fine each other.


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