I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Sunday, November 25, 2012

Well, Damn!

Over the six and a half year I’ve written out here I have found that I've wanting many different things.  At first I felt I wanted a true Dom/Sub relationship, but that just wasn't  Nick’s thing.  I still find myself curious as to whether or not I would have made a good sub if Nick had wanted the pure dominate roll.  Guess we’ll never know.   Then I thought I just wanted a domestic discipline relationship, but that wasn’t us either.  While I do tons of stuff that I’m sure annoys Nick, there just weren’t issues he (or even I) felt required ‘discipline’.  So dd wasn’t really for us either. 
It took me a long time to realize all this but finally, with only a tiny sigh, I did.  I’m quite content now to finally realized I’m lucky enough to be in a relationship that included spanking, I knew it might have a little mock discipline at times, but would be mostly for erotic fun.  And he did show me that when I was in need of a really hard session all I had to do was ask and he would oblige.
Okay, so far, so good.  Since that really hard spanking I haven’t really wanted any more – gasp!  Don’t worry, I was born a spanko and I’ll die one too, but the longing for a spanking has not been there for a while.  I do appreciate the stray swats, a few quick one with the wooden spoon in the kitchen, but I wasn’t in ‘need’.
Last Sunday Nick decided a spanking was in order.  Hmmm… okay, but…IT HURT! And he didn’t even spank long or hard.  He was, however, fussing about the only thing he feels is discipline worthy in our lives – my unhealthy lifestyle and diet and the looming health problems that could come with it.
He was aware Thanksgiving was coming, but he made some reasonable suggestions (rules, directives, whatever – I saw them as suggestions).  But some were hard to do this week because Mollie was home (I’ll think of another reason that they’ll be hard to do next week later.)
Soooo… even taking Thanksgiving into consideration I don’t think he’s going to be pleased.  I weigh in on Friday mornings.  I don’t like to record it when the results are really bad.  I skipped one week before and that’s one reason he spanked last Sunday.  But I still didn’t record it Friday morning – I mean, come on!  The day after Thanksgiving?  Nick was unmoved by the holiday and told me I had better record Saturday morning at the latest.  I did, but it’s not pretty folks.
So here’s my ‘Well damn!’ statement. I have wanted Nick to spank me for real, for something he actually cared about, for years. And now when I’m not really thinking along those lines, now that it HURTS, I have a feeling I’m about to be spanked for real for some of my poor choices.  And what really scares me a little is that in my current mood it might just work.
Well DAMN!


  1. We should be careful of what we wish for.. hehe ...

  2. PK,
    you get exactly what you have been wishing for, and---!
    Love and warm hugs,

  3. Sometimes I hate getting exactly what I wish for. Good luck.

  4. "What everybody else said"

  5. I completely understand....that is the way it is supposed to work. Otherwise it is just the 'fun' stuff!

    Hope you are not tooo sore when it happens!

  6. This may sound weird, but I hope Nick is not going to feel pity for you and maybe even accept the Holiday excuse. Maybe this is a good moment for you to say:'mea culpa, please punish me and help me remember next time'.

  7. Anonymous3:03 PM

    whats that old saying: watch what you wish for lol, hugs at least its for something that truly matters

  8. Well, PK, what can I say that you don't know already? You want Nick to keep you accountable, and you don't. I'm sorry for you, but you will have to pay the piper this time, and frankly, I think you'll benefit from it. But you have my sympathies.

    Hugs, Julia

  9. Aah PK, I don't leave you comments often enough to be chuckling at you the way I am right now. Don't hate me okay?!

    I hope that today goes well and you get what you want and need and all of it feels right for both of you.

    But yeah, ouch.

  10. *smile* I love the title of your post.

  11. whats the saying "be careful what you wish for"
    hehehehehehe im thrilled for you PK....way to go Nick
    hugs kiwi xxx

  12. LOL....I was thinking along the same lines as everyone else...be careful....can't wait to hear about it!
    hugs abby

  13. 1manview,
    I got it and then some.

    Yep, I got the and all right!

    TL Bucko,
    It wasn’t exactly pleasant.

    Yep, they said it.

    I hope it works, it sure got my attention.

    Trust me, he did not take pity – and he made me ask for more.

    I really am glad he care.

    I really do want him to keep me accountable – even when I don’t want him to. And I appreciate your sympathies.

    I thank you for coming by and feel free to chuckle all you like – I’ve put myself in this position and I did deserve what I got. And yeah, it was an ouch for sure.

    LOL! It was accurate!

    Yeah, yeah, I know… but it hurt!

  14. Abby,
    Let's just say I'm sitting tenderly!

  15. There, but for the Grace of God, go I...

    PK, I'm not going to say to be careful about what you wish for, because I think in many ways you're still trying to figure out exactly what it is you do wish for. Why don't we come with instructions? I know life's journey is supposed to be full of learning, challenges, discovery. It has the potential to be exciting, exhilarating, just plain fun, but it's often frought with anxiety, self-doubt, uncertainty, angst - all the ick stuff.

    All I have to add to that is, I have absolutely NO idea what you are going through, and I'm going to keep telling myself that until I believe it.

    {{Hugs, PK.}} (I really needed to hug someone. ;-) )


  16. I love this post!


  17. Irishey,
    Understand what I wish for would be a wonderful thing, why are we so complicated. We really shouldn't fault the guys for not 'getting it' so often, I don't either. Nice to have someone who understands the confusion.

    LOL! Glad to please

  18. I'm not sure if a "good luck" is appropriate. ;-)