I’ve had another up and down week. It didn’t start off so hot, but it has improved. Monday was interesting. I live in an area where a few flakes of snow can call off school in a hurry. Nick had mentioned as he left that we might get a delay, but sadly as time to get up arrived, no call came. I was surprised, however, to see a few snowflakes in the air a few minutes before heading to school. Then just minutes later we had a real snow fall. I’ve rarely driven to school in a real snow storm (of course this snow would really have been a joke to my friends from the north). Predictably, by the time I got to work ten minutes later, the snow had stopped and the sun was out. But then – at 7:30, with about half of our 850 students at school – they call a three hour delay! Now teaching can be fun, babysitting a half a room full of 12 year olds who are mad that they didn’t get to sleep late and watch TV, not so much.
All was a little funny – I mean that’s just the way it worked out, but then things turned ugly at work. Once again I want to tell you I love teaching, I have no problem with my students (other than the expected kids stuff). But the adult issued, the overall perceptions from the powers that be, make me as that as a professional, heck, as a human that I am totally worthless, useless, and unimportant. The details aren’t important, but I came home Tuesday feeling that I could walk under a snake with a top hat on. Nick was appropriately shocked and somewhat pissed by all that had gone on, but he didn’t do any spanking to help me snap out of it, and for once, I was truly grateful. I would have accepted it, but my day had been so demoralizing it honestly wouldn’t have helped.
It was hard coming back. I spent most of the week angry and depressed. Gradually I began to come back to myself. I’m kinda like a boxer. To win all I have to do is survive until the bell rings (five years until retirement). Usually I do this by staying on my toes, and dancing around the big brute that is trying to beat me down. Occasionally, like this week, the brute does something shocking and I’m tripped up and those massive fists slam into me over and over. But gradually I’ve regained my footing and I’m back to dancing and trying to play keep away. I have to keep the knowledge that the brute may beat me down, but it can’t kill me. I can always make a dive over the ropes and opt for early retirement, but that's not the plan, if I do that 'the brute' wins.
All the stress, depression and inertia did not help me in the weight loss this week. I really ate very little, but I think I moved even less. The results were that I was up .2 of a pound – so let’s just say I stayed the same. That, however, was not the goal Nick set for me. He gave me a hug Saturday morning and whispered in my ear, “Wrong way honey, after Mollie heads to the beach tomorrow we’re going to get that turned around for next week.” Tingly little butterflies - is there a better feeling?
Saturday night we took Mollie out to eat and then stopped at a store where she wanted to do a little shopping. While she looked for clothes Nick and I found a frying pan like we’d been looking for. He was carrying it around when I felt a ‘whap’ on my bottom. I couldn’t help but grin as I quickly looked around to see if anyone was watching. A few isles over I got another swat and Nick said “This thing might work pretty good for warming things up.” I don’t think anyone saw anything, but moments later we saw both our neighbor and Mollie. But I was still happy; it was the best thing that had happened all week.
Nick is dealing with a cold or some allergies so I expect this later this afternoon to be low key, but I know I need motivation for the upcoming week. I bet the strap could motivate me to continue to watch what I eat, to get off my ass and move, and to not let the brute get hold of me and beat me down again. I know having a sore butt, maybe a bruise (aka badge of honor) or two, does wonders to get my mind off work! Also little text or emails during the week are always fun, and for me threats are the best to keep my mind on ‘us’, what he might do, what he might make me do… that where I want my mind to be in my free time. Cross your fingers for me that this week is better than last.