I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Sunday, February 19, 2012

He's perfect, I'm greedy

He cooks

He cleans

He mops

He does laundry

He mows

He plants flowers

He takes care of car maintenance

He’s very good looking

He has a great body, not an ounce of fat on him

His beard tickles/scratches all the best places

At night he doesn’t shy away from my icy feet,
he pulls me to him and keeps me warm

He makes me laugh

He didn’t make me feel strange when I came out to him

He’s great in bed

He spanks me

He loves me

This is all true about Nick, I’m not even bragging. I’m just stating the facts. I don’t mean he does these things a few time, he does all this consistently. And yet I need to complain about this wonderful guy. Doesn’t that alone make you think I need my ass spanked?

It’s not fair to complain when he is doing what he thinks I want but… but…

Okay, I gained this week. Not a lot, but some. I know exactly why, I’m not consistent about keeping up with my points for WW and recording what I eat. I haven’t felt one bit like exercising, so I haven’t. I don’t want to let the good I’ve accomplished slip away. I’ve lost a total of 15 pounds. I know I can keep losing if I keep doing what I’ve done for the last several months. When I saw I’d gained I admit I was hoping Nick would spank me. I just need something to get me to refocus and not let the progress I’ve made slip away. Spanking does focus me and it can be a great motivator. And like I said here, spanking can turn something boring and mundane into something interesting and exciting.

I didn’t get ‘a spanking’. Nick did come into the kitchen right before I left for work and gave me a few swats. I didn’t have time to anticipate, I didn’t have time to get my head in the right placed to work on making changes in what I’d been doing, and then about 5 swats later it was over. I felt like I had been ushered into a banquet hall, with a lavish buffet in sight. It was unexpected (you expect a great buffet later in the day) I still didn’t mind, because it all looked soooo delicious. And then, just as the first morsel touched my lips, before I could even get a good taste, I was told banquet over and all the food disappeared. I know Nick was trying to do what I needed, but I didn’t feel I even got to participate. I ended up feeling a little annoyed and frustrated.

I guess I want a spanking to be – an event. I don’t mean it has to be something big an elaborate and take a long time, just something. If the morning spanking had been a taste of what was to come, if he had added, “And this evening we’ll finish this so I can be sure you don’t let things slide.” That would have been great. An ‘event’ as I think of it might involve being sent to get the implement of his choice, being asked to go to the bedroom and wait for him. It doesn’t even have to be a long spanking, but if it’s going to be short then it needs to be hard! I want to feel it when it’s over. Nick doesn’t have to do any lecturing – unless he wants to. I’m great at lecturing myself, as long as I have the time to collect my thought. For me, as much as I crave the spanking itself, TTWD isn’t just about getting slapped on the butt, it’s about the thoughts swirling around in my head before, during, and after.

Nick is such a good man, such a good husband. I wonder if I should just leave him alone. Some would say I’m trying to top from the bottom, except that he’s not a top and I’m not a bottom. We’re just us. TTWD is something that has brought us closer and I want it to continue. Sometimes I can’t help being greedy and ask for more. Oh, I forgot to include understanding to that list above, at least I hope that’s true.

10 comments:

  1. Your husband sounds fantastic! But I can relate to wanting something and then left feeling needy. PK, I truly enjoy your blog. You define feelings that I have had and didn't understand.
    Thank you! Isabella

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  2. Purple Sky3:50 AM

    I can identify so much with this. My partner and I have such different ideas of what I want in terms of spanking. I'm then left feeling frustrated and angry at him as it's not in him to give me what I crave. However he is such a wonderful man that I feel guilty for becoming so frustrated.

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  3. PK, a dilemma isn't it?
    Nick is a perfect husband, except for one small thing.
    Hopefully he will read this post.
    Love and warm hugs,
    Paul.

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  4. PK: I was just thinking wouldn't it be great if one day the light went on and he thought, "OK, she wants to be spanked, she's going to be spanked.'' That's the last post she writes about not being spanked enough. And he starts giving you maintenance every night and making a scene of it where you are sent to the bedroom and made to wait 10 to 20 minutes bent over the bed with your butt sticking in the air until he decides he is ready. And then he start blistering your ass so you can barely sit down at school at school the next day. And if you gain an ounce, you get a punishment spanking that rattles your teeth. Gosh, aren't fantasies nice. Meanwhile, it is frustrating that he's such a wonderful guy except for that one thing.

    FD

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  5. Great post PK. Please make sure Nick reads it so he knows just how wonderful you think he is and how he could make it even better for his greedy wife. hahahaha

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  6. Your husband sounds wonderful and it made me smile to read your write about all the great things he does!

    You're not alone with the short spankings...I too struggle when a spanking doesn't feel like an event. Cael doesn't think that a small slip-up warrants a full spanking over his knee. Often if I do something wrong (and we're home) he'll turn me around for a few firm swats and then we'll go about whatever we had been doing. It's hard though! I want it to be an event as well, so that I can fully process it. I'm working on the "accept whatever he sees fit" thing. It's hard no?

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  7. Isabella,
    He really is. I appreciate you commenting. I like feeling that others understand.

    Purple Sky,
    Nick and I haven’t ever been on exactly the same page on the amount of spanking I want and need. But he tries and he is so wonderful that I feel like a heel complaining too.

    Paul,
    Yes it is a dilemma – but at least my posts complaining about it are getting farther and farther in between. I guess that’s a step in the right direction.

    FD,
    At the moment Badass and I agree with you completely, Wimpy, however, would like to have a word. And I have to tell you, she does not seem pleased with you!

    Sunnygirl,
    Ummm… he did read it and it looks like he believed me! LOL!

    Riley,
    Isn’t it funny how different we all are and yet how much we have in common. Maybe it’s just knowing that they are really paying attention to what we need.

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  8. Anonymous4:33 PM

    I just read your Sunday post today, but maybe you should post an update about having your butt warmed (after taking the daughter back to school). Sometimes you are too impatient (reason for another spanking?)

    Nick

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  9. im a bit late in getting to this post. I feel that you are left "wanting" becasue your needs are not being fully met (yes i have a talent for stating the obvious lol -sorry) But i do think things are improving, Nick is slowly stepping up...be patient PK, keep posting these posts, he does read them and he reacts....he is just taking his time i think, to get comfortable with everything.....you will get there xxx

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  10. Wonderful blog! I found it while searching on Yahoo News. Do you have any tips on how to get listed in Yahoo News? I’ve been trying for a while but I never seem to get there! Many thanks.sbobet

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