I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Let's talk

NOTE : I just wanted to thank everyone who came by and read this post yesterday and a very special thank you for those who left a comment. Your comments showed me that most of us are in the same place. We that write blogs really enjoy writing them and the comments that we get really help us to continue to share. We are also alike that we don’t always have the time to comment everywhere we what to. I feel better just knowing we are all in the same boat. So the things I want to keep in mind that the blogs are supposed to be fun! We can enjoy each other as we share ideas and support each other. No one should feel any pressure to comment anymore that we should feel pressured to post. But it’s out there now – comments are important to us all – the connection and encouragement are what blogging is all about.


Hmmmm… I am the only one who feels things are kinda quiet out here, maybe not as many people posting, fewer comments. At first I thought maybe people were mad at me (paranoia, don’t we all have a little of that?) But I have noticed that comments are down all over. I think many people just have more important things on their minds than spanko sex blogs. The news is not exactly cheerful these days. People have many serious real life concerns. I understand why there are fewer comments out here. But I do miss everyone. Most people say that they blog for themselves and for many that’s true, but I blog for another reason. I need the contact with people. I am too comfortable living inside my head. I think all of you who have been reading long know that's true! I can close myself up in my head and day dream my life away – which was what I was doing before I found blogs. I did it too much and I ended up so comfortable in there I didn’t let real people into my life. I even block Nick for many years.

But when I came here and found that I could really write and post my thoughts. And I found others that understood me and they were willing to talk to me. I started coming out a little. The more wonderful people I met here the more I was willing to tear down the walls and let more people in. Not only in blogland but in real life too. I know that writing the blog has helped me more that anyone can imagine.

But I guess that everyone that writes wants to know that what they write is being read. I am blessed to correspond with many wonderful people by email, some a dozens of times a day or more. Eva and Mthc keep me sane this way! And there are so many other that I keep up with through emails some daily, some weekly and some maybe monthly. Each of these friends mean a lot to me and seeing that ‘I have mail’ is a very cheerful part of my day. Meeting new people, often through their contributions to FF is a true joy to me. Each time I get a comment it just makes me want to write more. The readers that leave me comments are very special to me. I learned early on that if someone took the time to comment to me I was going to answer them and there are very, very few times that someone has commented to me that I have not answered that comment. And I always go back if I’ve left a comment to see it that person had anything to say to me. That’s why I blog - to have a back and forth conversation with others.

Many, but not all, of my good friends have gone private and each one for a very valid reason. For the first time since this started I have toyed with the idea. I have email relationship with most of the people that comment. I wouldn’t lose contact with them and rarely does a new person or a lurker leave comments any more so maybe no one else is reading. Private blogs allow you to post pictures of your family and share things you normally wouldn’t out here. The one thing that stops me is remembering how I began. What if I had come looking for someone that understood my kink and Eva and Grace and CeeCi and Theresa and Bonnie and many of the other wonderful bloggers that I did find had been private at that time? What I would have missed out on – wonderful friends, the fantastic change in my feelings toward sex, the ability to discuss my desires with people who understood and my closeness with Nick, all of these live changing events would have been lost to me if these people hadn’t been here for me when I came looking for acceptance. I want to be here for anyone else that comes out here looking for what I was looking for.

This post has no real point, I am just rambling a little. I hope as we have the time we will keep encouraging each other through comments. We just did gratitude Tuesday yesterday but I want you all to know that I am grateful to everyone who comes here to read and I hope we can talk sometime.

30 comments:

  1. Hello PK, I also noticed that it's been quiet around here. I have been actually working a lot and find myself in front of the computer, so I have more time for reading and commenting.

    kitten

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  2. You're post has a very real point--we need contact, it validates our feelings. Often, it's so easy to cruise through the blogs without leaving a comment, just popping from one to the next. But the other side is that, as a writer, you spend a ton of time constructing a good page and then get very little reaction, it makes you wonder. I'm trying to limit my computer time, to leave room for real life, so I understand that most people are doing the same. Ben & I have also talked about how quiet it is out there. Some very vocal players have disappeared. It makes you wonder. I enjoy your blog often and don't comment enough. Please keep up the beautiful work that you do.

    Carly

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  3. Hi PK- Yes, your blog was one of the first I found that made my "interest" seem acceptable. I have fallen behind in my reading the last few months, but I wanted to say "hi" and reconnect with you. I understand this post and know how important it is to get out of my head and interact with people frequently...otherwise I go a bit looney. Anyway, take care and be well.
    Marie

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  4. Anonymous1:19 AM

    Hi PK.

    I know that I have never been a regular commenter but I have enjoyed reading about your experiences and feelings through your blog. I have been able to understand a lot about myself through you and many others online and I thank you for that. I do miss that some have gone private because its hard for me to open up in the first place but I understand the personal element in it for them. I need to finish my ff. Apr. 1st. I will, I will, I will.

    diana

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  5. Hi PK, please don't go private that would be such a shame, as I think so many people have had their own "strange" feelings and desires validated by reading your lovely blog, and the other spanko blogs out there.
    I promise I'll comment more if that will help ;-)
    Eliane

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  6. If I can find your email address, I'll write to you. This posting is very 'current' for us right now.

    love and hugs xxx

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  7. You're definately not the only one who blogs for the contact... or the only one feeling blue about the lack of comments people leave. I wouldn't care if they just left a 'I was here' comment, at least then I'd know they'd read it LOL!

    Going private is an awful thought that should be erased from your head!!! Too many of the 'good' blogs have either gone private or disappeared recently and I miss them. Please keep this one just the way it is...

    ~ Terri

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  8. Good morning, PK. I do apologize for rarely commenting. I read all the posts. I just forget to comment sometimes!

    I, too, live in my head far too often. I was going to post a stream of consciousness the other day and just ran out of steam. Couldn't do it.

    Anywho....love ya and all your words of wisdom.

    Hugs,

    Debbie :)

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  9. PK, this makes a lot of sense. The contact with like minded people is affirming. I've made posts with serious thoughts on our favorite topic and gotten no response. Then I've made posts that were just playful or frivolous and gotten a huge response. I try not to fret about it. I like the contact, but I put it out there and just enjoy whatever response I get. I try to go back and respond to comments, but I'm not timely about it. Last week I was away. In general, I just know I need to limit my time online to reading and posting on the blogs I either get something out of, or where I have something to offer with my comments. It's too easy to look at my project list and say there's just never enough time, but that's not true. I just don't prioritize well. I'm trying to work on that. Anyway, please keep writing. I'm reading, even when I do just fly by. :)

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  10. I waz here.

    lol

    Just don't have much to say, but you're on my Google Reader.

    meg

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  11. Good post PK, yep me too, I've noticed how quiet things are and how things have changed in the short time I've been blogging. So many going private and now Spanky saying goodbye, that's a real shame.
    I agree with Carly, it’s so easy to go from blog to blog reading and not leaving comments. Its not that we/they don't want to its just time with a lot of us I think. I try to find time at least once a day to visit and leave a comment.
    I'm the same as you, If somebody has taken the time to leave a comment for me that's very special and I want to comment back.
    Keep blogging KP.
    Ronnie
    xx

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  12. Anonymous12:24 PM

    PK,

    Hope you don't join the many others I used to read. Though I rarely comment, for one reason or another, you would be missed.

    R

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  13. Anonymous12:32 PM

    Hi PK,
    Please do not go private! I wait for fantasy Friday. I check/read your blog daily. Quite a few of the blogs I used to read have gone private and being kind of a nervous/shy type I find it difficult to comment all the time. But I am Here!
    Lil

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  14. PK:

    Great post girl!! it is amazing how much we can do in others life sometimes without even knowing...

    i just want to tell you that i love your blog!

    thanks for your time in writing it! i love to read you!!

    hugs!!

    löthianne

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  15. Anonymous3:18 PM

    I do appreciate fantasy friday to very much.

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  16. I think a lot of it is spring and sports going on like baseball and soccer and all the outdoor projects. But it's also as you say real life problems have taken over for some. You have a lot of people that depend on you and look forward to your stories..don't throw in the towel..as you see you have your followers..

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  17. Evening PK,

    I like honestlymarie found you to be my first regular blog. And I appreciate so much your bringing me to a place where I feel comfortable with my passions.

    I'm glad you've encouraged readers to let eachother know we are here for eachother.

    Hugs,

    KayLynn

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  18. Hey Kitten,
    If we only had all the time we wanted to play on the computer. I try to get around as much as I can but there is always a little more I want to read.

    Carly,
    You understand exactly - when you write something that means something to you, you want to see what others think of it. But I am as guilty as anyone of lurking many places with great post but not always commenting. This 24 hours in a day, you think we can get that changed?

    Marie,
    I'm so glad you felt comfortable here. This seems to be the one place we can let out a part of ourselves that we can't anywhere else. Come by any time.

    Diana,
    I am glad that you are understanding more about yourself from the blogs. That is exactly what happened to me. I enjoy your emails and I am looking forward to that special one by April first. Or after, I'm not picky! LOL!

    Eliane,
    I always love it when you comment but real life has to be dealt with and none of us has all the time we would like sometimes. Just come by when you can.

    M:e,
    Thanks for coming by and for the email. I will be in touch very soon.

    Terri,
    Thanks. It's good to know that I am not the only one who really like there comments. It seems that they are important to many of us. And I agree - a simple 'I was here!' is enough sometimes!

    Debbie,
    Maybe that is a common thing with spankos, the livng in our head thing. We kinda had to hide this for so much of our life we HAD to live in our heads! And now it's hard to break out.

    K,
    I too am sometimes surprise at what gets the most comments. But like you I will take anything I can get! LOL! So you fly by anytime. Commenting or answering comments - we all do what we can. Real like has to come first.

    Meg!!
    LOL but honestly sometimes that enough. On the days I think if I am only talking to myself I sometimes think why bother typing?? So yes, it's always nice to know someone has dropped by.

    Ronnie,
    We can't be everywhere all the time. I guess we just need to try to comment when we can so that our friends know we are around.

    R,
    Thank you. I guess that what we need to here once and a while - that we would be missed.

    Lil,
    Thank you for coming out today. It is hard at first. But I am glad you like the blog. Please know you are always welcomed her whether you comment or not. I'm glad you like Fantasy Friday too. But if I don't get more stories we are in trouble there!

    Terps,
    And I thank you for them.

    löthianne,
    That is one thing I have learned as a teacher. The comments you make verbally or in writing effects people. We can make some feel accepted, cared for and supported with just a few words. And if we aren't careful we can hurt them just as easily.

    Anon,
    Thanks. I love Fantasy Friday too.

    Mthc,
    Real life does attack as you well know. All the comments today have really made me feel better and that there are many, many people out here that want blogland to thrive.

    Kaylynn,
    I'm glad you found your way here and realize that there are many of us that share the same desires and now we know this is our normal.

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  19. Anonymous10:02 PM

    post is very true but i am glad you are not or going to go private enyoy you blog mabe a lurker
    but have learned things reading your blog

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  20. Anon,
    Thank for your comment. Please comment anytime you want to. It's fun to join in sometimes.

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  21. I'm a very new reader to your blog. I really appreciate knowing there are others out there that are like me, and your blog is a big point of validation.

    Thank you for keeping this up. i appreciate it.

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  22. Hi PK,
    I hope you don't go private.

    Just dropped in to say hi and it looks like I picked the right day. I try to visit folks in blog land but I just can't seem to get the time. I still think of you though. :-)

    Take care,
    -Jess

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  23. Katy,
    I like to know that new people are reading. Please feel free to email too. elisspeaks@yahoo.com

    Jess,
    Come any time you can. I appreciate you help on Fantasy Friday too!

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  24. PK,
    Just wanted to say hi and thanks for being such a great friend.

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  25. Hi PK,

    I think it's true that this is a stressful time of year, and that could be why comments are down. Long winters tend to get us Northerners down after a few months.

    Your readership isn't necessarily down, though. Do you check your stats? (Do you have Google Analytics and/or Statcounter?)

    Many people also read blogs via RSS feeds and a reader. So while they are reading, you won't see the read recorded as a hit to your site.

    Often people enjoy what a blogger writes, but they either don't know what to say, or they don't want to simply repeat what everyone else has said. Or maybe they simply don't want to expose themselves.

    I blog for myself, but I love getting comments. But even though sometimes the posts I am most proud of don't get many comments, I always know that people are reading. As long as my stats keep climbing, I feel that what I'm saying is reaching my target audience.

    Please stay "out" for all of us!

    Hugs,
    Hermione

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  26. Wow! Look at all the comments your post has received! People are reading, isn't that nice to know?

    I think the reasons for not commenting are as varied as the people who read. I know why I don't always leave a comment after I've read a post, but I do my best to say something when the post has really touched me. And like you, I go back looking for a response.

    Please, don't go private. Your wisdom and kindness are important parts of this small community.

    I love you, dear friend!!

    *hugs*
    CeeCi

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  27. hello pk. i hope you dont go private. i enjoy reading your blog. but i dont always comment. sometimes what i want to say has already been written. other times i need time to digest what has been written. bottom line is i would miss your blog if it went private very much. take care.

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  28. Yaya,
    I always love seeing you here.

    Hermione,
    You’re right. I know from Eva that folks up north are getting a bit stir crazy. I am very grateful to see that folks are reading whether they comment or not. They will be welcomed here.

    CeeCi, my sister!
    The people who have commented on this post have made me feel much better. I appreciate everyone who read – comments or not. I hope people feel that they find kindness here – but wisdom, LOL! I think they will need to keep looking!

    Jam,
    Thank you. It really feels good to hear you say that.

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  29. Hi PK,
    Thank you very much for leaving the first comment in my blog. So,I also understand what good feeling a blogger can have when someone read and comment. I'm new to spanking, DD and new to blogging too. The posts in my blog now are just expressing my thought and feeling. I know I have to learn a lot so I can write as good as many of you. So, I really appreciate your comment to my non-interesting post and so happy that I'm not alone. I just drop by to say thank you, as I can't follow the links that you posted now 'cause I'm on my mobile,those are not hyperlinks and I can't go as I don't know how to copy and paste on mobile. I'll read those posts and others as soon as I use my computer,then we'll talk more. Thank you again.
    Have a nice day

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