Friday again! We have a story this week that I think many of us can relate to – that is any of us who might tend to spend a little more time on the internet than our HOH thinks we should. Get started on your weekend, enjoy!
Breaking ObsessionsI just love waking up in the morning and having coffee with all my online friends from around the world. I’ve been blogging for about a year and have met so many wonderful people. Unfortunately, I spend way too much time on the computer chatting and reading blogs and writing for my own blog. Mark warned me to get away from my computer and get some activities that will introduce me to people who could become real life friends instead of relying on those that I will never meet. He’s been so worried about me ever since one of the online friends I had become close with decided they did not want online friendships and just completely dropped out of site. These things happen, but I took it very hard. I had talked to her every day; sent pictures and thought some day we would actually meet. I felt so hurt from the sudden separation.
Mark spent a good month helping me heal. He lectured me about finding friends and people to hang with outside of the computer so I had other things to do and the dangers of getting too close to people online. Since I lost my job I’ve been kind of lost. My blogging time and connections with online people had become constant. They were all I talked about, all I wondered about and all I wanted to associate with. I should have been frightened off by my experience but for some reason, I just dove in deeper.
For the last 3 weeks, Mark has really been on my back about putting the computer down. “It’s so nice outside, Suzanne, let’s go bike riding”, he would say. He would suggest for me to do all kinds of outside activities and even give me outside chores in an effort to break my obsession. There have been times when I did not move fast enough for his taste when he told me to do something and I would be pulled over his knee for a hand spanking which served as a warning that I better move faster. Actually, this practice of his has become more frequent with a few full fledged bare bottom spankings taking place because I did not do as I was told.
Everything came to a head four days ago when Mark had finally had enough. He explained that he was glad I had made friends but that he was putting his foot down about computer time. I am no stranger to discipline by my husband. We had talked about adding discipline into our relationship during our 10th year of marriage. We have been married now for 17 years. I wanted a strong man that would lead and was quite happy to change our family dynamic having him lead. Mark has always been very fair and the safety and security I feel outweighs any rules I may sometimes want to rebel against.
Mark took my chin with his hand and made sure I was looking directly at him when he told me that I was allowed only two hours a day for the next month on my computer. He was serious about me finding other interests. He told me he was very concerned about me getting hurt again and how that incident also affected him. He did not want a repeat. Several times I tried to look away from him but he would gently shake my chin and demand I look at him while he talked. When he was done with his lecture he asked me if I understood. I did my best to assure him that I would not get hurt again and stated my case about two hours being not nearly enough time each day. Mark only looked at me and asked again “Do you understand?” My only choice was to answer him “Yes sir.”
I went to bed that night angry and completely out of sorts. What was I going to do with my day? I lay there thinking about what constructive things I could do with my time. It was then that I realized exactly how much my computer friends took up my day. I knew I was chatting often and reading blogs a lot, but if dinner was made and laundry got done, what difference did it make?
I awoke the next morning and immediately turned on the computer. My best blogging friend Donna had written me an email telling me to read her latest post. She and I had never met but talk about it often. We’ve talked on the phone on several different occasions and have so much in common. She is a DD wife as well so we can talk about spanking and restrictions openly. She lives about a five hour car ride from me and we so wish that we lived closer to each other. She stays at home during the day so we are able to chat a lot on instant messenger but she has to get off the computer when her husband comes home.
I read her post and by that time she had signed onto IM. I explained to her my new computer restriction. Donna was as sad as I was. She told me that it was like she was being restricted too. Mark had talked to Donna on the phone before and he saw the pictures she sent of herself and her family so they were not complete strangers. He likes Donna and reads her posts often but still had his reservations about anyone online. I spent the next ½ hour chatting with her and then decided to check out some other blogs. By the time I finished surfing and reading, I had already used an hour and half. This restriction was just not going to fly with me.
I spent the day trying to stay busy doing anything and everything I could think of to keep my mind off of the computer. I desperately wanted to talk to Donna. Her husband doesn’t like her to use the cell phone minutes without asking first because they get used up too fast. Several times she has run the minutes out, so we don’t chat by phone often and usually on weekends.
Later in the afternoon I got on the computer to chat with Donna one more time before her husband came home from work. I was so miserable thinking about how long the next month was going to be not talking to her like I usually do. That’s when it hit me. ROAD TRIP! What else did I have to do? I checked with Donna and she didn’t have anything going that would stop a visit from me. She just wanted me to make sure it was okay with Mark. Well, I’d at least leave him a note.
Mark would never agree to me meeting Donna without him but I was angry at him and reacting to that anger. I will just do this and show him that it is okay to meet cyber people. They are just like everyone else. It’s not my fault that he doesn’t have any vacation time right now to go with me. I’ll just stay the weekend and be back Monday before he gets home from work.
I did not allow any thoughts of punishment to enter my head, only the excitement of meeting my closest internet friend. Tomorrow was Friday and I would leave after Mark went to work. I’d packed a few things, make sure I had the directions and start my 5 hour drive. I figured I would call Mark when I arrived and tell him where I was. My call would most likely go to voicemail being that he told me he had meetings most of the day. That would work out perfect. I wouldn’t have to listen to scolding. I’m angry at him and I want to stay that way for the weekend. This is the first time I have felt his rule completely unfair. I’ve silently rebelled in the past, maybe even slammed a door or two but this is the first time I have ever done anything like this. If he wouldn’t let me use my computer to talk to my friend, I’ll just go to my friend so we can talk. Hey, I’m not on the computer, right? I won’t even take it with me.
My ride has been quite uneventful so far. The radio was turned up and I was singing along when my cell phone rang. I took it off the seat next to me and read the number. It was Mark. He only calls the cell when he doesn’t get an answer at home. It rang for the 3rd ring. I could not decide whether to pick it up or let it go. I was only on the road 2 hours so far so letting the call go to voicemail, he would require me to call him back. I had 3 hours before I reached Donna’s house where I was going to call him. By the time I decided to let it go to voicemail the phone had stopped ringing.
When I heard the familiar chime letting me know that I had a voicemail, I put the phone to my ear and listened to what he had to say. “Hey honey, where are you?” was what I heard him say. He continued, “Call me back when you get this. I don’t have another meeting for an hour.” Oh great. He’ll certainly call back in a ½ hour if he doesn’t hear from me. Then he’ll worry if I don’t answer again. I had to call him now. Oh well, I’ll just tell him now. I’m 2 hours away from home and to me that is enough time to tell him that I am almost there to avoid him telling me to turn around and come home.
All of a sudden I got very nervous. I’ve never disobeyed him in this way before. What was he going to think? I put myself in his place and thought how I would feel if he took off on me. Yeah, I was mad but what the heck did I do? I’ve been known to act like a brat but nothing to this extreme.
I had been thinking for so long that when the phone rang again, I didn’t realize 45 minutes had passed. I answered the phone, voice quivering a bit and Mark immediately said in a concerned but stern voice “Where are you.” “I’m driving”, I answered. “Driving where and didn’t you get my message to call me?” “Yes, I got your message,” I said. “I was going to call you right when the phone rang again.” “So what have you been doing, where are you driving?” I took a deep breath and then just spilled it all out. I explained that I was on my way to Donna’s and that I had been driving nearly 3 hours now and was very excited to see her. I tried to have a non-challenging tone, a sort of no-big-deal attitude. I told him that I was upset about not being able to talk to her like I do every day and that I thought it would be a good time to arrange a visit.
Mark was silent on the other end of the phone for a very long time. He finally spoke and said “Suzanne, when have I ever made a rule that was not for your own good or the good of our relationship? I am so disappointed that you would defy me like this. You may be mad at me, but taking off alone to meet people that neither you nor I know in a place where neither you nor I have ever been is unacceptable behavior. You will turn that car around immediately and start for home. Do I make myself clear?”
His words cut like a knife into my heart. He was right. Since we started DD, his goal has been to watch out for the both of us. I saw no need to argue that point. His voice was demanding and I could tell he wasn’t taking no for an answer. Even if I continued on to her house, I would have to go home at some point and face the music. Disappointed I wouldn’t see Donna; I answered with a meek “Yes sir” and got off at the next exit to turn around. Mark then told me that he was attending one more meeting and canceling the rest for that day. He would be home and waiting for me. With a gulp, I told him the time I estimated I’d be home. He told me not to stop anywhere on the way home unless I needed gas and he ended our conversation with “I’ll expect to see you in a few hours.” I called Donna to tell her I couldn’t make it. I then began to cry thinking about what awaited me.
I pulled in the driveway and saw that Mark was indeed home. I grabbed my suitcase and walked in the house. Mark was standing near the door and came to meet me with a hug. He said, “I’m glad to see you.” His arms felt good wrapped around me and I wished it would stay that way but just as I expected, he told me to take my suitcase to the bedroom and unpack then wait for him to come in.
I headed to the bedroom feeling as uneasy as I’ve ever felt. In our 7 years of DD, I had never done something this serious. I couldn’t help but wonder what he was thinking and what he was going to do. It was obvious he wasn’t happy with me but would he think I went too far in my rebellion against a rule I disagreed with. What if he didn’t want a DD relationship anymore thinking I was going to rebel against all his rules? I was so nervous now that I started shaking.
I finished unpacking just as Mark was entering the room. He told me to sit on the bed. Then he came over to sit next to me. He put his hand on my leg and said, “Suzanne, you really surprised me. I know you don’t like the computer restriction but I never thought you would so easily do something you know I would be against.” His voice was that of a stern disciplinarian. It sent shivers up my back. I began to get up off the bed to walk the floor. Immediately his voice raised and he said “sit down and do not move until you are told to move.” I had never seen him so demanding and stern. I obeyed his command and felt the tears begin to well.
Mark got up off the bed and went to the closet where he keeps our spanking implements. He reached in and took a belt off the hook it was hanging from. He turned around to look at me and said, “Seven years ago, did you not agree to submit to my authority?” With my eyes fixated on the floor, I shook my head yes. “Suzanne, look at me and answer my question.” I raised my head and softly spoke a humble “Yes sir.” “Okay, your little stunt was unsafe and unacceptable. I want to make sure you know that today. Take your pants down to your knees and bend over the bed.” I stood up and did as I was told. I felt as though I should say something, either to make a plea or to apologize but I could tell by his firm tone that speaking right now would not be good. He had a punishment in store and there was no getting out of it.
The first swat of the belt landed with precision across both my cheeks. The sting was more than usual. I could tell he was delivering at nearly full force. The next swat made me yelp and then they came hard and fast. I yelled out that I was sorry in hopes that my contrite heart would shorten the lesson. A couple dozen more continued to burn my backside before he stopped. He put the belt on the bed and told me that he believed I was sorry but that he wanted to make sure I knew how disappointed he was in my decision to go off without asking. I am not allowed to get up from a spanking position until I am given permission and I could hear him getting another implement out of the closet. He has a few favorites for punishments and nervously, I wondered which one I would be experiencing next.
I didn’t have to wait long to find out that the large wood paddle was the next instrument of punishment. This paddle has an immediate bite that brings tears after just two swats. Mark held nothing back. He was angry and I was feeling that anger through the hard piece of wood. The second swat hit and true to form, the tears flowed hard. The impact of my selfishness had sunk in and I was truly sorry for causing him to worry. I received 15 and two extra for putting my hand back to block, 17 in all. Mark took my arm and helped me off the bed and to the corner.
“Stay put Suzanne and if I see you rub, you’ll get the paddle all over again.” Being that my nose was in the corner, I had no idea if he left the room or was standing behind me. My bottom felt like bugs were biting it, little stings of pain everywhere but I didn’t dare rub. I made that mistake once and Mark made good on his promise of repeating the swats.
Mark had gone out of the room to get me tissue which he placed in my hand. He usually leaves me in the corner until my sobbing slows down enough to talk. I heard him sit on the bed as I wiped my face and nose. A minute later he called me to him.
I stood in front of him and he wiped my last tear. “I’m sorry I had to be so harsh with you but I needed for you to know the extent of what you did. Had something happened to you, I would lose my life. You are everything to me. I know being out of a job has been hard on you and you need your friends right now. I am keeping you on computer restriction because you absolutely need get out and do other things but I have a couple days I can take off work and if you still want to meet up with Donna, I will go with you to meet her.” I knew right then I should have just talked to him about meeting her. He’s always been fair and giving. “I’m very sorry. I’ll never take off like that again. I love you so much. Yes, YES, I do want to meet her. Thank you so much.” We embraced and he lifted me onto the bed for some after care. Besides lotion, his form of aftercare always makes everything completely better.
I told you we had another great story this week. This author has written for us before so everyone should take there guess. I mean, after all you know the author!! So who do you think wrote “Breaking Obsessions”? It was either Lori or Carye or Cassie or Me! So, what do you think! Vote now and come back later and I will also give you an update on Eva’s surgery