Outing myself

I wanted to tell you all about outing myself to my sister. It wasn’t something I was really planning to do and it came about gradually. She is an excellent writer. She writes fan fiction on the internet and has for years. She’s good, and has won many awards out here. She also has her own group of internet friends that she gets together with twice every year.


So I would talk about my internet friends some. I eventually used the word blog, and talked about writing stories. She wanted to read some but I declined telling her that she was the writer and not me. While that was true I just didn’t plan on sharing the fact that Nick spanked me and that I loved it.

But the more I thought about it the more I just didn’t care. I was a grown up and spanking is a wonderful thing in our lives. I am not ready to take out an ad in our local paper but I am not embarrassed about revealing something that has had such a positive effect on my life, at least not to my sister.

So the next time she pestered me I explained to her that I would tell her and share some stories but that I did not want to talk about what she will be learning about me in front of other.

I sent her several stories from different authors. It didn't take a genius to realize what my secret was! She asked how long I had felt this way and I told her since I could remember but that I had only shared with Nick after 23 years of marriage.

Her response to the first stories was cute. First she did ask if I was only into receiving or did I spank too. I told her I was definately the one who got spanked I am not a spanker. She ended the email with --

"May I have another?"

So I sent her Bonnie's Reunion and Nick's The Road trip. This was what she had to say about them.

I really enjoyed the story - Reunion - more fleshed out than the others and I liked that. Also this one seems like he was a nice guy and she was curious as opposed to punished. The first one, Road Trip, bothered me and I read it again to find out why. It's that he feels like he can punish her like a child and she takes it, even thinks she deserves it. You know I'm a feminist from way back - even arguing with the preacher about it when I was twelve, so that rankles a bit. The writing is good, it just trips my trigger.

That's when I was able to tell her a lot more.

Ahhhh... now you are getting to the very core of it. We (spankos) only believe in 100% consensual adult spanking! Now many of us have gotten to the point in our lives where we want to give up some control. We know we can take care of ourselves and everyone around us but sometimes is SUCKS and we like the idea of giving up some of this control to the men who love us. We want to just relax sometimes and be taken care of. Even be bossed around sometimes. Most of us did not get to this level of comfort with releasing control until our 40's or later.

Here is how my friend Lilly put it –

If someone says "you really shouldn't...." or “I wish you wouldn’t…” to a spanko - it's like saying - I care, but really you are on your own with this...”

When they say" No!...." well to a spanko - that really says he loves me enough to put his foot down and follow up - hold me accountable - to insure I do what I need to do take care of myself" It's like they truly have your back (or hmmm... bottom!)

This is called D/d Domestic discipline. It’s kind of interesting to be able to try to explain this to someone who is vanilla (that’s you). We often write on the blogs trying to better understand ourselves but we are usually preaching to the choir.

It runs the gambit. I know folks out here who live a slave/master lifestyle complete with collar and everything. Where that is not our style they seem very happy and so I am happy for them. Many out here are into spanking just for the erotic fun of it. That is were Nick is, I wouldn’t mind more discipline – we only go there about the diet. But some of my friends can count on a spanking for a variety of things. Being general bitchy is one common reason, for this reason I don’t think you would want your honey to try this! LOL!!

It's a lifestyle that we enjoy very much. Most spankos I talk with have had these longing since pre-puberty. Every one of my friends has willingly given this gift (of submission, in some degree or another) to her husband or significant other.

And have you notice the change in me – not just the weight loss - but in how happy I am? Nick and I are closer than I ever imagined we could be. And I never expected to be so happy.

Well that was what I told her and in telling her I discovered something. She saw it as no big deal. I am not suggesting anyone out themselves I am just saying that if you are over heard or leave a paddle on the couch and it is discovered by a friend. Laugh it off, they will get a giggle out of it but even after I gave this explanation to my sister she has no clue. She thinks it just a little somthing we do as foreplay occassionally. No one other than a fellow spanko is going to understand the depth of what spanking means to us and if they are already spankos there is no problem!