I found myself feeling sad all day today and I could put my finger on why. I talked to Eva about it (as usual) but 'why' would not surface. I got emails from Mthc and Carye too. But it wasn’t until I got home and read Cassie comments that the reason for my sadness hit me. I had talked to Eva about this but I didn’t know it was still bothering me.
I am sad that so many of my friends have gone private. I am not saying that they shouldn’t have! I know these women very well and the reasons they have are extremely valid and I think each of them did exactly the right thing. I am not saying one word against them but I am remembering when I first began reading and commenting our here. I got hooked hard and fast when I found blogs. I was getting up early and going to bed late as I cruised around reading blogs, comments, responses to comments – everything (now remember it was summer and I had a lot of time on my hands!)
I remember early on, I think I had only had my blog for a week or two, when Bonnie posted that she was taking a break for a short time. I was devastated! I mean poor Bonnie was only taking a vacation for a few weeks but I was so upset that she wasn’t going to be there daily for me. Okay, granted I was too obsessed but I can just imagine how I would have felt if 3 or 4 of my favorite blogs had gone private at that time. I would have been crushed, and if I had only started reading a few months ago what wonderful friends I would have missed.
So I am sad, not for me, I am one of the lucky ones. I can read the blogs that have gone private, I can email these friends. I am sad for Denise and all the other lurkers that had come to know them through their blogs but now are shut out. Not because of anything they have done but just because of how things are.
There is one thing I can say to lurkers – come out and talk to us. Those folks that have to go private for various reasons couldn't invite you if they didn't know you were here. As close as I feel to my friends here – and these are some of my best friends in the world now I did not know any of them existed 18 months age. It took commenting and ‘talking’ and I have loved every minute of it.
At this time I am not planning to go private. If I should run into any of the problems my friends have I guess I will. But you know, if someone I know finds my blog all they will really ‘discover’ is that I love my husband, we enjoy a happy, active sex life, and I like being spanked. The first two I hope people assume the latter might give them a giggle but I just don’t think that is so out of the main stream to be really shocking.
I guess the real reason I am here is to make friends with folks who are interested in spanking, I want folks to know that there are a lot of us out here and there is nothing strange about it. I guess I have ranted enough for one day. But if you are reading please let me know.
Hey Sweetie~ Thanks for the email, I got it before I read your post or Cassie's post.
ReplyDeleteGoing private was a very emotional decision for me. I honestly sat at my computer and cried the night I flipped the switch, but as you know, it was the only way I could keep blogging. You have made a very valid and important point with your post and so has Cassie... if someone doesn't speak up there is no way to know they are there. I invited as many people as I could to come with me when I took the site private. After the dust settled and I discovered I'd missed some people because I didn't know they were there I added them as the requests came in.
There is a freedom in having a private site that wasn't there when it was open for the whole world to see. I like that aspect of blogging now. I do however miss the rush of a comment from a new reader or seeing that something I've written has garnered some attention. I guess that's why I get such a kick out of writing things for Fantasy Friday!
This experience is all about communicating.
"There is one thing I can say to lurkers – come out and talk to us." None of us could have said it more clearly than you just did.
I love you, keep blogging and if you do go private you dang well better send me an invitation... I know your number.
*Hugs*
C.C
I never really had the choice to go private as it would have had to be completely private and there didn't seem like much point in that. I can keep a diary if I wanted that. I still comment at those places I frequent when I have something to say but it does make me sad seeing things changing the way they have. Though, I completely understand the necessity of it.
ReplyDeleteI agree, lurkers speak up, it can make such a difference to know you have people out there who understand and enjoy your writings.
Hugs
Dove
As one who recently went private, if you are reading here and would like to continue reading my blog, please email me .... you lurkers are NOT the reason I've gone private so please do not go away and PLEASE email me if you want to read my blog.
ReplyDeleteHugs~
Eva
PS ~ Just like C.C .. it wasn't an easy choice.
And by the way, my email address is evadry3@yahoo.com
ReplyDeletePK, it's a wonderful thing that Cassie did and what you did is equally wonderful. May you get many lovely good girls for that.
ReplyDeleteIt's a very valid point, if you don't knock we can't know you are there.
Everybody has something of value to contribute, so PLEASE, go ahead, comment.
Love you PK.
Love and warm hugs,
Paul.
Pk, this has been an emotional week here in blogland. I cried when CeeCi went private because I felt like I'd lost a good friend. Fortunately she found me (thanks, CeeCi)! Our little pink friend and Eva also remembered me when going private.
ReplyDeleteI guess another important lesson is going on here this week. Speak up! If you have an overwhelming need to comment (positively, please) when you are reading posts of interest, just take the leap and comment. I know it can be scary but so well worth it once you do it.
I'm very glad I commented once upon a time because I've met some damn fine individuals here.
Love you all,
Debbie :)
Pk, You know I will always be here reading you even if I don't comment. I get up at 3am to get off to woek and go to bed early.
ReplyDeleteI even started on my own blog but I have never finished it. I just don't have the time for it.
Lurkers it only takes once to make a comment and trust me you will be hooked from then all.
*hugs and grins*
I really don't see the "fun" of going private.
ReplyDeleteAs a writer you like to have readers and as much as possible.
If someone thinks there are good reasons for a private party,well enjoy yours.
There are so many new bloggers welcoming visitors and commenters.
Closing a blog or going private isn't a drama though some ladies seem to think so. There are more important things in the world.
John, Believe me, it's not about drama and you are right... there are more important things in the world... like job security. In my state, they are voting this week on how they will discipline those in my profession who dare to have a blog or my space or something similar. It's not about drama. It's not about trying to exclude lurkers. You sound as though you think I've done this for drama or something... it's not that at all. I'd love to have my blog stay public but it just can't be because the world we live in is sick... kids can mouth off to teachers because it's their right.... it's all about them but a grown adult is not allowed a private life if she happens to be a teacher. Me? I'm just running scared. So now it's out and everyone knows why I've done this. It wasn't to hurt anyone or exclude them... it's simply to save my own ass.
ReplyDeleteI do hope folks will understand... and write to me.... everyone, I'll probably let you in no problem.
The Virginia/washington dc/Maryland area is cracking down on my space and facebook as well.Unfortunately that's a sign of the times. I've seen alot of bloggers leave recently. Sometimes real life comes to call. I still lurk on a lot of blogs. I kind of just like to read them.Private/public everyone has their reason.
ReplyDeleteI always feel a loss when a blog that I visit regularly goes away. I only comment when I feel that I have something of value to add to the discussion and that does not happen often. I was a regular visitor to Nothing Random and was sorry to see it go private even if I completely understand the decision.
ReplyDeleteAs I said at Cassies, I totally understand where the lurkers are coming from. I am a perpetual lurker. I even lurk here! I haven't gotten as close to some of the readers as PK has, but the ones I have gotten close too, I love.
ReplyDeleteIf some of the blogs I lurk on were to go private, I would be sad, but I would move on. As John said, there are always new ones popping up.
As for going private, I think I'll hold off on that for awhile. The thought has crossed my mind, but after thinking about how I would feel if some of my favs closed, I've decided to keep mine open for awhile.
(Not that anyone cares, but it's only my 2 cents, which really only adds up to about half a cent!)
HUGS!
grace
I posted a comment to Eva yesterday that I had been considering doing the same thing. At the time I had been, but for the time being anyway I've shelved the idea. There are only a couple of people I'd be really worried about finding out, and I have to just hope and pray that doesn't happen. After a lot of thought about it last night, what convinced me to keep the door open for the forseeable future was the thought of the occasional email I get telling me what an encouragement it is to read about someone who took the plunge into DD. I can't claim to be an expert at this by any means, but I like to think that sharing my experiences has maybe given a few people hope that DD doesn't have to be just a fantasy.
ReplyDeleteAnd I love to meet the new people who read my blog - I'd miss terribly not getting to know so many great readers!
That said, I totally understand why the bloggers who went private did so, and if you were a lurker and miss them, email and ask for an invite!
PK I also appreciated the email. I gave alot of thought before going private. My reasons strongly affected my family and relationships.
ReplyDeleteI have also had some sad moments...like the most recent de lurkers day. I remember how much fun that was last year.
I also agree with c.c. there is a freedom blogging now. I feel that everyone I have invited is someone I can be open with. I am certain there are others I left behind that could also be trusted. But like PK pointed out, I never knew they existed.
It is a shame that a few people had to spoil blogging for some of us. I have also learned that free speech apparently only applies to some and not all of us.
Thanks PK
Huggs
Theresa
Hello! You said to let you know if you are reading...so I am writing to let you know I am. I am woman in my thirties, mother of two young children, and teacher...I recently expressed my fantasy since early childhood of being spanked to my husband and am still awaiting my first time being taken over his knee. I posted on Bonnie blog on LOL day but have not really had a chance to read everyones blogs and comment and just want to say thank-you to everyone. It feels really comforting to hear other people's stories and know I am not alone. So thanks, "Terpsichore"
ReplyDeleteI love being able to read peoples blogs. I try to comment on any I read regularly, though that often doesn't happen Luckily, I haven't missed the boat on people going private. I have found htat those that do, have very good sound reasons, and are making a tough choice. when I have emailed them they have always invited me in and I know I will always enjoy and be grateful that the blogs that involve spanking and love will be there for me as long as they are.
ReplyDeleteCarye
C.C,
ReplyDeleteI think we are all looking for the same thing – a place to find like minded friends and exchange ideas.
I know this was a hard decision for you but I also know you did what you needed to do.
Dove,
You are so right. We are writing for ourselves but comments do mean so very much. I simple comment like “I understand” or “I have felt the same way” can mean more than anyone knows.
Twin,
I have a feeling you are going to get a lot of emails!
Paul,
All of us are lucky that you googled “spanking”. There is no one like you!!
Debbie,
I always love hearing from you! You are right folks just need to take deep breath and take the leap into commenting! You have nothing to lose!
David,
I am so happy we hooked you. Your schedule sounds very full! I am glad you get here when you can!
John,
I am glad you stopped by. I guess Eva explained it as well as anyone could.
Mthc,
I know some of the reason to watch blogs but I wish they would leave normal, sane adults who are nearly always saying kind and constructive things to each other alone!!
Selfspanker,
I am sure you will be welcomed if you email Eva. I see your comments around and you always make good sense!
Grace,
We all spend a lot of time lurking. When I have time I comment when I don’t I lurk! But please if you decide to go anywhere take me with you!
Angel,
I feel the same way. Not only do I want to read what I want to read but I like to feel that I help people feel normal when they read about others who like spanking!
Theresa,
All three of you have talked about the freedom being private gives you. I can see how that would be. I am just glad it feels right for you!
Terpsichore,
So glad you came by. You sound a lot like me except you are about 20 years smarter than me! I was 49 when I came out to my husband! There is plenty of advice our here as to how to talk your husband into this, how to ask and what to tell him. And the very best thing is that you can totally ignore our advice and we really don’t mind!!
Carye,
I am so glad you jumped in and started commenting. If you hadn’t I would have missed our on my little sister!
I understand people's reasons for going private although I have to say it's often times made me sad to see some of my favorite ones that went private and I did not get an invitation to view their blog. Sometimes it's hard to get an e-mail addy to be able to ask also. Recently my favorite HNT blog went private and I had no way of contacting them. I was so happy to find their e-mail on Osbasso's blog and I was able to contact them and got invited in.
ReplyDeleteI hope that I will never have to take Journey to the Darkside private as I really enjoy meeting and getting new people come through the blog.
Great post though!
BIG HUGS
padme amidala
Thanks for staying open for now. I, too, am very sad...I would always read the twins together - one right after the other. As I stated over at Cassie's blog, some of us share computers, and have no computer privacy so e-mailing a request is not possible. We just lose our friends forever. It is so sad that fear or unkind commenters can cost us such dear friends. Are we still considered lurkers if we comment regularly as anonymous?
ReplyDeleteoh you have a great blog one that until lately i have not had the chance to read thankyou for letting me enjoy your life for a few min a day
ReplyDeletelocket
Padme,
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean. You don't always have access to the email address once the blog goes private. I try to encourage folks to email me so that we can have contact off the blogs.
Anon,
When I began here I was sharing a computer with the family too. I have a suggestion for you and anyone else that is nervous. If you feel comfortable emailing me I will be happy to discuss it with you. elisspeaks@yahoo.com I know Eva would be happy to invite you.
Locket,
I am so glad you stopped by! Please come back as often as you can. I read at Cassie's that you have a son back home from Iraq. I am so happy for you!!! Please tell him thank you from me!!
PK... you are having me sitting here with a huge lump in my throat... you all are oceans away and still so close...
ReplyDeleteI do understand why quite some blogs have gone private... and to be honest there are some of then I loved to visit and I can't anymore... I used to love reading Dove's stories or walking in ceeci's garden... Paul's stories there I also loved to read.. and I miss Eva to...
I do understand going private... (told the reason why at Cassie's) but I do miss the blogs that went private to...
anyway, a huge hug to you...
I understand how you feel. It seems more and more the people that comment on my blog have private sites so I cannot communicate back with them. However, seeing that I use an anonymous name for my blog I totally understand these decisions. But it is sad we have to hide ourselves from the world.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Purple Angel
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ReplyDelete