The way it should have been

Nick and I went shopping Saturday it should have been a real nice time but it didn’t turn out that way. As usual poor Nick doesn’t really know what was going on. He knows part; we were at a small, touristy group of shops so the stores catered to smaller size women. Don’t ever go to these places with your husband to shop. Even thought I had a really good week weight-wise, looking at tiny clothes still made me sad. By the time we got back in the car he could tell I was upset and I told him the ‘feeling fat’ part of it but not the rest.

I am working on talking to him when I get like this but I am not there yet. He was as sweet as he could be and said things to try to make me feel better, but once I let myself get to that point not much will turn it around. I didn’t want to go anywhere else I just wanted to come home and feel sorry for myself. So today I decided to try my hand at fiction and rewrite the day the way I wish it had gone.

We arrived at the shops and Nick grabbed my hand and said “Come on, new panties first! I’ll let you pick the style you like but I'm picking the colors!” This is the best place to buy panties! And the reason I needed some is that I needed a smaller size. Halleluiah!!

After that very nice beginning the fun quickly went out of the shopping trip when no stores carried my size, evidently if you are over a size 10 don’t even bother! Feeling that only the skinny were allowed to have nice clothes and not being in the mood to shop at Tents ‘R Us I became quiet. I guess that is my earliest signal for I’m pissed, I’m hurt or I’m sad. When Nick noticed that I was teary he stopped and wanted to know what was wrong. I didn’t want to talk but I finally got out that I was feeling fat.

He seemed a bit annoyed. “You are doing great on the diet, you lost more than ever this week, you need a smaller size panties and you are feeling whiney because theses stores chose to cater to only one size. Come on I have a bit of shopping to do myself.”

Did I mention that there are two really nice kitchen supply stores at this outlet? Alright I admit my mood improved considerably as we entered the store. Nick headed to the wooded spoon/spatula department. He didn’t ask me any questions as he looked over the selection. He picked up several slapping them slightly against his palm. He finally decided on a wooden spatula with slots cut into it.

As we left the store with his new purchase I was feeling quite happy as I anticipated getting home and trying it out. But instead of heading home Nick drove to the far side of the parking lot where there were no car and few lights. He backed into a parking spot and turned to look at me.

What?

Nick started “You have to stop being hard on yourself about the weight. You concentrate on losing and I’ll be the one to be hard on you if you don’t. If you are getting upset with the sizes offered tell me that that you are pissed at the variety of sizes and we can tell the stores to kiss our asses as we look elsewhere. Don’t just stop talking and shut me out. Got it?”

“Umm, sure I hear you.” Interesting speech, I hadn’t heard this before.

Nick opened the door and said come on. Come on where? We are out on the edge of a rapidly emptying parking lot. To satisfy my curiosity I got out too and followed him to the back of the van. He opened the hatch and told me to lean over and put my hands on the floor. It was only then that I saw he had the new spatula in his hand. I laughed; this was definitely not Nick’s style. I said “Cute! But get serious, I’m not going to let you spank me out here where somebody might see. Let’s go home!”

Nick’s answer was “I didn’t ask you if you were going to let me. Now do you want to risk being seen getting a spanking with clothes on or on the bare?” Good heavens, he was serious! I was looking around in a slight panic but since I didn’t recognizing this mood I thought I decided t0 go along. I turned around and bent over. Well the damn spatula works! OWWW! Ten solid swats with that evil thing with no warm up made quite an impression! I suddenly wasn’t sure I was as anxious to get home where he would feel more comfortable letting go. He stood me up kissed me and we got back in the car. I was stunned. But as I shifted in my seat looking for a more comfortable position I became aware that I didn’t feel fat anymore, I felt loved and cared for and cherished and I suddenly realized that I actually pretty anxious to get home!