I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Monday, March 21, 2016

What do spanko’s talk about?

That was the question Nick asked me the other day. Of course I’ve gotten together with spanko friends before – several times, in fact. I love visiting with blogging friends and I have every intention of doing it as much as possible in the future. Nick doesn’t mind, he goes on the occasional golf weekend and I go off every now and then to visit with spankos.

But the other day he asked, “What do you all talk about?” And I answered him immediately, “Everything.” That of course was the 100% truth. But he was still curious. “What everything?” he wanted to know.

I stopped to think about it. We talked about our families, our kids, our jobs, our childhoods, how we met our husband, our favorite foods and drink, you name it. But we also talk about spanking. We talk about how long we’ve had our interest in spanking, how we got out husbands to spank us, our favorite implements, how to get them to spank more, how to get them to spank less – usually not one of our problems.


It such a freeing feeling. We write a lot about spanking and all the feelings that go with it, but it’s so seldom that we can talk about it. Not to our families or real life vanilla friends. You need a spanko friend for real life conversation. It’s not that I feel I’m hiding who I am from my real friends – you don’t feel like you’re hiding anything until you get with the people who have read your words, who already know your deepest, darkest, most long held secrets. And it feels really, really good.

I could assure him that there was one thing never heard in our conversations and that was husband bashing. I get some of that with nearly every other group of women I talk with. Not everyone, but there will be one or two it seems in every group. But it's something I've never heard my spanko friends do. We may wish they spanked more or understood where we're coming from to a better degree. But husband bashing - you'll never hear it from us.

Nick grinned and shook his head at me when I was telling him all this. He said “I sure would love a recording of all this.” Hmmm… as hard as it is for me to ‘talk’ in actual words to him I might like him hear a recording of a conversation with a bunch of spankees. He would find out I’m not the only one who wants to be submissive, the not the only one who is interested in discipline, not the only one who desires consistencies. The next time I get together with by blogging friends maybe I'll make a recording for Nick. I think he’d like that.

22 comments:

  1. Hi PK, oh I wish I was there for one of your spanko meetings. The worst person I know for husband bashing is my sister in law! She is always moaning about my poor brother and to be honest the general consensus in the family is it is her that's the difficult one! I really have to bit my tongue, even my husband says he feels like telling my brother to spank her. I don't think any of us in Blogland take part in that sport, "ordinary" mortals don't seem to appreciate their other halves like we do
    love Jan, xx
    love Jan,xx

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    1. I've stopped some bashers who made me mad by saying, "Why don't you either divorce him or shut-up about him." At least that stopped them from talking trash to me.

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  2. Wouldn't it be great to go on that spanko cruise you've dreamed about, PK? Our other halves could compare notes too.
    Rosie xx

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    1. I would love a spanko cruise - maybe we could plan one to Bermuda and some US bloggers and English bloggers could meet there.

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  3. PK would be great getting together with other spankos, having a nice chat and exchanging ideas. My DIL is a husband basher, even to me about my own son, she has such a nerve.
    Agree with Jan none of us would say anything about our husbands. We all won the lottery with our men.

    Hugs Lindy

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    1. We have won the lottery with our guys! See my answer to Jan as to what to say to your DIL.

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  4. What a remarkable post, PK. Just love this! What is so different about the friends I have made in this corner of blogland? You have explained it very well. Yes, there are all the usual friend topics - children, families, vacations, jobs, and on and on. These are things I could discuss with any vanilla friend.

    But there is such a big piece of me that I cannot share anywhere but here. And just as you say, it does feel really, really good to have friends that understand me completely.

    You are also spot on about the feelings we have for our husbands. It is very different than out in the real world. There seems to be a certain veneration for our men. I am in awe of Sam at times - that anyone could make me as happy as he does.

    Thanks for this one, PK!
    Ella

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    1. Being able to be my true self with these special friends is so important. We get together and it's so relaxing! And we all brag on our husbands.

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  5. PK,

    We Ttwd wives are a wonderful group of women who thrive on the company of women like us. Great post describing the way we share that piece of who we are that is usually tucked aside when with others.
    Meredith

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    1. I have shared this aspect of my life with a few real life friends. They are mostly amused since they each know how much happier and closer Nick and I have been since I came out to him. But it's not like we can talk and they understand.

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  6. I certainly enjoyed our conversation back in the day. It's great for spankos to get together because they can chat about everything in their lives and not have to leave out one key thing. And nice that spankos don't bash their hubbies except sometimes saying they want more spankings.

    FD

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    1. I do fuss that Nick doesn't spank enough, but it's something I wish for and not something I feel is lacking in him. It would be like being gay and trying to hide your true self.

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  7. I have a friend who nags and nags her husband and runs him down in front of people. He's such a lovely man who thinks the world of her and would do anything she asks. I've tried to tell her but she doesn't see it. I said to P he should take her husband him to one side and tell him he should spank her.

    Nice post PK.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    1. I wish P would tell him and that he would listen.

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  8. Sometimes you really don't realize how much you are holding back until you are able to speak without self-censoring. I don't mind if any of my friends want to vent a bit a bout a specific incident with their husband but if they try bashing, I will tell them that I don't want to hear it.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

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    1. We do need to be forceful when other husband bash around us. It's like listening to a tasteless racial joke - we need to tell them to stop.

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  9. I agree about when we talk to other spankos!
    It's like that elephant ( in a good way) in the room we can't share!
    I really wish to be on a spanko cruise where you could be your complete self!

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    1. We may just get this together some day.

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  10. It is so freeing to be able to be 100% true to yourself and to be able to share anything and everything. I am fortunate in that I do not know too many people who "bash" their husbands or their wives. There might be friend to friend complaining, hoping, working through things, but at the end of the day we all have our strengths and weaknesses and we love our partners. Hugs

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    1. Complaining and wishing things were a little different or better is not bashing. There are always changes we'd like. But most of us are satisfied.

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  11. I would LOVE to go on a spanko cruise! Lol. I think it would be beneficial for my hubby to see how other people interact. Real people, not those in books. Sometimes I think he believes that there are very few people out there like us. And that very few women like to be submissive to their husband. Probably because his mom and older sister always ran the house.

    I love that we have each other here in blogland. It helps to have friends who accept all your quirks and things that people may normally reject.

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    1. I get it. Then I first showed some blogs and stories to my husband he was sure they had to have been written by men. NOT SO! If we ever get that cruise planned, we'll be sure to let you know.

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