Tuesday, February 23, 2016

Shhh… I’m not supposed to say anything


You know I can talk about spanking and sex and things, but this is private. What’s the big secret? Mollie is dating. My beautiful Mollie is twenty-three now and she hasn’t dated before. So here I am with hundreds of question and my tongue nearly chewed off trying not to ask them.

She did share with me that she and her roommate joined a local online dating site, where she met this fellow. Now I more than most people know there are good, honest, decent people on line - I’ve met a good many of them.

I also know there are liars, con-men, and outright creeps here too. I feel after all this time on line I can spot the fakes and bad guys fairly well. Can Mollie? After worrying that there is nowhere for young people to meet one another, I’m realizing that the Internet is the place they do meet.

She shared a little with me. I know his name and saw his picture. I emailed her the other day and asked, “Am I allowed to ask a few questions about the dating service.”
She replied back, “No.”

Then added a few minutes later, “Roommate and I have it covered. She has all the info I have on anyone I go out with and I have hers. We even have a code word for the phone or text that tells the other to call 911 if we send it. We’re got this covered mom relax.”

I guess I can’t ask for much more. I am not pestering and I’ve asked very few question since. I know they’ve been out a total of four time so far – because she’s told me. I did ask, “Do you like him or is he just someone nice to go out with occasionally?” Her answer was, “I don’t know.” And I left it at that, since I think that a pretty good answer for going out only a few times.

I'm not worried about her finding Mr. Right (at least not right now) - I'm just happy she's making friends and going out some. Of course I'll do a little worrying, but we've raised a pretty smart girl and I hope she's enjoying herself.

Written by PK at 8:00 PM

29 comments

29 Comments:

At 12:31 AM, Blogger Eric51 Amy49 said...

Great attitude Mom! You know she'll come to you when she needs you, especially because you aren't pushing her while she explores on her own, with the help of a roommate in a similar situation. Amy

 
At 1:48 AM, Blogger Cat said...

I understand your concerns PK but really does sound as if Mollie and her roommate are being extremely responsible.

I have heard some of the horror stories also but thought I'd share of few of the positive ones with you...My oldest son and DIL met through an online service and are still happily married almost 9 years later with two sweet girls. A good friend of my moms met a wonderful man online and they have been together for 5 or 6 years now.

Hugs and blessings...Cat

 
At 1:58 AM, Blogger lindy thomas said...

Wonderful news PK. Its always hard when daughters start dating, as there are so many creeps out there. Sounds like your Mollie is a very clever girl though and together with her room mate sure they will both be fine.
Relax and be happy for her, she will fill you in on all the details when she feels ready.
Hugs Lindy

 
At 3:09 AM, Blogger an English Rose said...

Oh bless. Good luck to Mollie. I hope it goes well, My youngest met the lovely dil online through an agency. The wedding is sept 2017 and at the weekend he asked his dad to be his best man. I love her to bits. It's not always bad, just not how we would have done it maybe.
love Jan,xx

 
At 4:22 AM, Blogger ronnie said...

Wonderful for Mollie. We can understand how you feel as there are some scary stories out there but relax a little from what you've told us about Mollie she has her head screwed on. Two of P's nephews met their partners on line and now happily married with children.

Love,
Ronnie
xx

 
At 7:09 AM, Blogger Hermione said...

I would be concerned too, but then I'm not sure I would be brave enough to try online dating if I were single. She sounds very sensible.

Hugs,
Hermione

 
At 7:20 AM, Blogger Ella said...

Dear Mom,
I have to giggle when I think of you trying not to ask too many questions. If you are simply dying of curiosity, invite them for a Sunday breakfast. Although, Mollie would be smart enough to catch your ulterior motive.

Another Mom Named Ella

 
At 8:21 AM, Blogger Leigh Smith said...

I always found the best way to get any information was to act totally uninterested. I'm not sure you can pull that off, but...
Happy for Mollie and as you said she has a good head on her shoulders.

 
At 8:59 AM, Blogger Florida Dom said...

Moms are always worried when their daughters enter the dating world.What does your hubby think of this? Does he think any guy can be good enough for his daughter. Anyway, don't worry. You have done a wonderful job of raising her and it sounds like she has taken all the precautions. I know you are dying to get more information but you are handling it just right.

FD

 
At 9:34 AM, Blogger DelFonte said...

I would be so bad at not asking questions. My eldest hates being questioned about anything. So this is going to be tough for me. I like Leigh's idea, feigning disinterest.
Being a mum requires great tact.
hugs
DF

 
At 9:48 AM, Blogger Katie said...

Oh PK, :) If I could have a penny for every time that I have/ or am worrying about one of my kids, I'd be rich! It is so so hard sometimes! I totally get your concern. It's a BIG world out there for sure! We love our kids!

You know, from the sounds of it all, through many posts of past, you have a terrific relationship with Mollie. You raised a great daughter, with a good head on her shoulders. Sounds like she and her roommate are doing all the right stuff. She is having fun. Try hard to share your worries with Nick, and then put those worries in your back pocket.

I do think that there is nothing wrong with asking a question or two if you have a concern. There is a difference between pestering and loving concern. I am learning that no matter the age- they are our babies and we will always want to know that they are A-OK! You are doing great! Many hugs,

<3 Katie

 
At 2:15 PM, Blogger Downunder Don said...

Hi PK,
Mumski and I missed one of the real traumas in life...watching a daughter date. Our beloved met her intended at school, fell in love, married and has not looked back.
I hope Molly finds her true love and like a princess lives happily ever after.

 
At 4:15 PM, Blogger Minelle Labraun said...

I was just thinking about this today. It's exciting when our kids date. However I am unapologetically a WORRYWORT!
Your Mollie will do great just like parents and her brother!!

 
At 5:00 PM, Blogger Maggie Jordan said...

Oh PK, I am with you on this one, honey! My girl will be going off to college in the fall and has never dated. I do so worry that she won't be able to spot a jackass. But then again, she's a pretty smart cookie and has her head on her shoulders instead of up in the clouds. Then again...I think to myself what about when those hormones really kick in with a cute boy. Will she still realize he is a jackass? Lol. I have faith in her, I do. Maybe it's just hard to let go? You just want to shelter those babies, even when they are not babies anymore.

I give you a lot of props, lady. You're doing an excellent job not asking as many questions as you would like to ply her with. You are stepping back and letting her roll with it. I hope I can be like you!!!

 
At 6:58 PM, Blogger PK said...

I'm trying, I'm trying - but I find myself wanting to give all kinds of advice. Unfortunately it's my job to keep my mouth shut.

 
At 7:01 PM, Blogger PK said...

I appreciate hearing about these success stories - I really do think this is the way many young people meet. Not that I would have minded knowing his parents and grand-parents...

 
At 7:02 PM, Blogger PK said...

I'm happy for her - the relaxing may take a little more time.

 
At 7:03 PM, Blogger PK said...

I'm happy for you and them - hope someday I'll have a similar story to tell.

 
At 7:04 PM, Blogger PK said...

I'm hearing good positive stories from my friends here and I do thank you. I guess it's a wait and see game now.

 
At 7:09 PM, Blogger PK said...

I've wondered if I were single if I'd try this route. I like talking to others on line, but for me it's been mostly women. I'm not sure what I'd do.

 
At 7:11 PM, Blogger PK said...

Ha! Mollie wouldn't buy that for one second. I have a sneaky feeling that we won't meet anyone she's dating unless she at least considering marriage.

 
At 7:17 PM, Blogger PK said...

Problem is she and I have discussed things like this - how to get a roommate to spill secrets and such. So I just ask a random question now and then - one and only one and if she feels like talking she will.

 
At 7:20 PM, Blogger PK said...

Nick has always let me do ALL the worrying about the children. So he has just seemed mildly curious and only asked me questions. One think I do remember is that once I fell in love with Nick, I could not stop talking about him. Even when I tried. I'll be watching for this.

 
At 7:23 PM, Blogger PK said...

Mollie talks all the time, ALL the time - until there is something she feel a little uncomfortable about, then she really clams up.

 
At 7:25 PM, Blogger PK said...

You're right. One small problem is that where I love and respect and trust Mollie - I don't feel the same about the roommate. I'd like that secret code word too. I'm much more likely to answer my phone than roommate is.

 
At 7:29 PM, Blogger PK said...

Thank you! I got to nearly miss it with my son. He started dating someone when he was sixteen, but it was a twenty-six year old man! I had some heart pounding moments about that, but they married nine years later and are as happy as any couple I know. I hope Mollie finds a man as good as the one her brother got.

 
At 7:31 PM, Blogger PK said...

It is exciting and it is worrisome too! I worried that she wasn't dating and now I'm worried that she is - I'm definitely a mother.

 
At 7:35 PM, Blogger PK said...

You and I both know our daughters are smart and trustworthy - but we also worry about those smooth talking creeps that populate the world. I think its just so important to just keep talking to them about everything they want to talk about. Mollie calls every day. Her idea, not mine - but I love it.

 
At 10:14 PM, Blogger Terpsichore said...

Molly is a sensible, responsible young lady with a good head on her shoulders, like her mom. However, as a mom, you will still worry about her no matter what. :-) I am happy that Molly is meeting new friends and hope she finds someone special and then I am certain she will have lots to share with you. :-) Hugs

 

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