I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Thursday, March 05, 2015

I have a question - do you want to talk?

In the spirit of March I have a question for my readers. Does it matter to you if a blogger answers their comments? I have always really tried to do this whenever possible.  I know I miss some occasionally, but it’s very important to me. I know most of the bloggers I read do answer comments, so I can tell it's important to them too. But as a reader, does it matter to you. Do you come back and read after someone answer comments? I guess I'm asking my lurkers to jump in here and help answer this question.

Bonnie had this as one of her ‘rules/suggestion’ for blogging when I first began and I really took it to heart. I remember when I first found bogs and I was blown away by what I was reading. It was weeks before I had enough nerve to leave a comment. But when I went back to look the next day and my comment had been answered, the blogger had taken the time to talk to me, I was not only dumfounded I was hooked! And I’ve been here ever since.

Since that time I’ve always felt that if someone takes the time to read what I’ve written, and then to go the extra mile and comment on it, I want to talk to them. Commenting and answering one another’s comments was the way I’ve met my best friends out here. I can’t imagine what I would have missed if I hadn’t answered their comments and begun real friendships.

Going back and answering comments takes time – trust me I know. But if I visit a blog and comment a few times and they never answer or say anything about my comment, I get the feeling they don’t want to talk. And that’s okay, but I usually stop commenting too. I guess because time is always limited I’m going to talk to the bloggers who want to talk with me.


I think I described it once as walking by your neighbor’s yard and waving and saying something like, “Nice day we’re having” or “Your yard is beautiful” and they never look up or say a word… then I still go by but sometime I don't say anything.

So that’s my question for all of you. Do you expect an answer to comments you leave, or do you just leave it and move on? Let me know.

48 comments:

  1. Hi PK, depends on the comment. Generally the comment is a show of support or acknowledgement of a feeling expressed by the writer. In this cases a simple acknowledgement is nice but not at all necessary. Where someone has a point of view or wants to expand or genuinely enter into a discussion I would think it rude not to at least acknowledge them. This must take into account the way in which they go about it. A rude or disrepectful comment deserves to be ignored. That is may take on it. I write for myself but if someone does comment I do try and acknowledge them.

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    1. I've only had one or two really ugly comments over the years and I've deleted them without any answering comment. If I think it's unkind, but not horrible I simply say "Thank you for your thoughts."

      I started off saying that I blog for myself, but for me, in reality, I blog to connect with other who share my interests.

      Delete
  2. It's nice to see a reply, but not necessary. I like to see a reply if it's got something significant to add. I mostly comment to give an opinion. I don't think it's necessary to respond to every comment, though.

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    1. Sounds reasonable. A comment on a comment isn't always necessary - but it still seems nice to me.

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  3. Hi PK, like you, I personally try to take the time to respond to comments. I think it a courtesy as the commenter has taken time to reach out to me.

    I think it's nice to receive replies, I think we all know how difficult it can be to manage to reply and how time consuming it can be. Ultimately it's nice, but I don't expect it. I do go back to see replies sometimes, but not always.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. I know it's just not always possible, life does come before blogging. I know sometimes it's just not possible, but I sure like a reply to my comments sometimes.

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  4. You were my 'mentor' when i first started blogging, and replying to comments was one of the tips you gave me. I do reply...almost always....I think it helps, feels more like having a conversation. I sometimes go back and see replies to the comments...
    hugs abby

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    1. That's what I like - the feeling of having a conversation. We don't get to 'converse' about our kink in real life very often.

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  5. HI PK< yes I always try and reply to my commenters and if I have commented I usually go back and see if there is a response. I think that is how most of us have become friends , ;0
    love Jan,xx

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    1. I do too Jan. I know I've met the most amazing people here and all those friendships began with commenting back and forth to one another.

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  6. Like you, I was completely amazed when I read the comments, mostly lovely and helpful, that people took the time to make under my posts. I know that I sometimes find life so busy that it is difficult to answer comments straight away, but I hope that I manage to answer them all eventually. It is very important to me.

    I also like to answer comments as truthfully as I am able. I realise that sometimes, being English, they can be misinterpreted, but I much prefer straightforward people myself, so I hope that people won't object to my being straightforward too.

    I love it when we can sometimes get comments going back and forth like a tennis ball going over a net. Great fun, and as Abby says, like chatting face to face with a friend.

    Hugs
    Ami

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    1. I sure don't mind when it takes a little while to get a response - I know somedays are just too busy. But I like for someone to be honest and straight forward when they reply.

      We used to have 'parties' on line in comments. Oh my they were fun!

      Delete
  7. Hi PK, :) I hope that you are feeling a bit better and more energized! :) Hang in there- spring is somewhere around... lurking... Darn that snow!!! It is snowing AGAIN today where I am here... Stuck in the house for a while... Maybe not such a bad thing!

    I think that everyone has their own space, and can do with it what they want to. For me, I very much agree with you all- it is important for me to reply to all of my comments. People bother to come to my blog and read, and I feel appreciative of that, and want to acknowledge that.

    The other part of it for me, is that there is SO much that can be learned from the exchange with others in this way. When I first found the land, it was the fact that people interacted and shared, that helped me to come to a realization about making changes. And in the end, if it wasn't for the "conversations" beyond the posts themselves- in the comments and replies, I would not have learned as much. And it is still the case. When I wrote that recent post called This Whole Thing, a compilation of meaningful thoughts to me about it all, over time, some of the thoughts came directly from replies to comments. There is a lot of learning to be had from further digging in to what ever is being written about. And hopefully those things somehow helps others too. So yeah- I am all for trying my best to reply every time. Not always easy to keep up though. And you do the best you can...

    I also agree with Jan that it is how you get to know others better as well. Great post! Many hugs,

    <3 Katie

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    1. Katie, if anyone on the planet has an excuse not to add one more things to your to do list it's you.

      But you are so right, the things we can learn from one another, in addition to the friendship we create, can't be beaten.

      Delete
  8. Hey PK,
    Since I learned my "blogging rules" from you, I also try to respond meaningfully to my commenters and when I leave a comment I definitely want to chat. I hope you are feeling better. I think a lot of us are suffering from the Winter blahs along with you. I definitely am.
    Lots of love,
    Alyssa

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    1. Thanks Alyssa, I'm working on it. Long before I began blogging I felt like I was getting to know people here by commenting around. Even if you don't have anything to blog about you can still visit with others.

      Delete
  9. I always try and respond, sometimes I am late... But I do almost every time. That is why I don't post very often, if I don't have a lot of time to answer I won't post. I enjoy reading a bloggers response to my comment it makes my day when they answer me! That connection reinforces a friendship. It's a conversation. I feel like we are sitting and having a cup of coffee! It's the same when I post, I genuinely look forward to people's response to what I write. It makes my day!

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    1. You and I are just alike on this. It's my time of day to visit with others - and most day I really need it and look forward to this time of day.

      Delete
  10. Good question PK,

    Personally I think it's important to answer comments. Someone has taken the time and trouble to read your post and then leave a comment so it's courtesy to reply, even if it's a thank you. If you were like me when I first started blogging, I was thrilled when my comment was answered.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    1. Yep, I'm just like you. The bloggers who took the time to answer my comments when I first came here truly changed my life.

      Delete
  11. I am sometimes guilty of not responding to comments. I have to get better at that. Of course, we all love comments.

    FD

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    1. Everyone does it the way that works best for them, but yeah, we all love our comments!

      Delete
  12. I always try to leave a comment, even if it's just an acknowledgement that I stopped by. The same goes with my blogs, the only time I may not leave a comment is when it's a joke or something of that nature, but I think it's impolite not to respond. As far as going back to see if a writer has commented on my comment, I don't always have the time but I do try. I know, I can be very trying. lol

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    1. Oh you can! But I love you! I don't comment on Fantasy Friday because I feel like I've said my piece in the introduction. But I comment on most others.

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  13. Yes! Yes! Like you, I think it is important and just plain nice to answer or acknowledge comments from readers. I try to answer reach and every one, every time.

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    1. Yes - it's just friendly and that's what so many of us are looking for, friends.

      Delete
  14. Well, personally, I stop visiting blogs where the person never responds. I think it's rude of us to want to have people respond to our writing, and yet treat their thoughts as though they didn't warrant response.

    There are, of course, different ways of looking at it...I have heard other bloggers say they consider the post "their space" and the comments area to be "reader space".
    But I still find it a bit arrogant when bloggers ignore the very people they're (we're!) hoping to encourage to come back...

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    1. I'm like you, I can't divide the space. If someone is talking to me I have to respond! I know in the long run it's really worked for me.

      Delete
  15. Hi PK,
    As a non-blogger I always appreciate the time and effort that bloggers take to express their thoughts and feelings. I also know how much time this takes, especially when attempting to balance their blogging with real life.
    I rarely comment; only if the blogger makes a point that resonates with me or if I think I have something to add to the thought stream. So if I leave a comment it is gratifying to see a reply. It makes me feel special that the author has also appreciated my thoughts enough to acknowledge them, no matter how trivial.
    Like Jz I stop commenting if there is consistently no reply, not just to me but everyone. It is like having a one-way conversation, it just peters out after a while.

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    1. When I blog it's like I'm in a group of people who are all interested in the same thing. Often I am blogging just to get a conversation started and once started there is no way I'm staying out of it!

      Delete
  16. As a reader, I sometimes comment if a post really strikes me or if it raises more questions for me. I love it if a blogger responds, but I imagine it would be really time consuming to do that for every comment. I think if you can respond to a question, that's great. I do go back and look too.

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    1. When I knew I wanted to blog I knew for me the time I was giving to it would include answering comments.

      Delete
  17. I like it when bloggers respond to my comments. I remember Bonnie saying that too. There are a few times that I haven't been able to respond but I think that the commenter would understand in that situation. I just like to know what their response is to my comment

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    1. No one should be expected to be able to answer comments all the time. It just not possible. But I do like leaving comments where I feel that they are being read and often acknowledged.

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    2. yeah, I got myself into a little trouble asking a blogger why she never responded to comments. I had just read your post. Oops. I am grateful that you respond and I usually come back to see what you said. But everyone owns their own blog and can do their own thing

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  18. I always go back to see what the blogger responded to my comment. I like reading the exchanges and I like responding when people comment on my blog. I too get away from commenting on blogs that don't reply. I figure if I take the time to give them an honest answer or comment and they don't say anything they don't really care to have my opinion.

    Hugs,
    Clara

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    1. Makes sense. For me it's just a time thing. I can't comment everywhere I'd like to sometimes, so I take the time I do have to comment on those who comment back.

      Delete
  19. As someone who does not blog but reads I love to leave comments of Cknowlegemmen and I always appreciate a response but also understand if people don't have the time sometimes... I find that when the blogger responds it feels more friendly and in this lifestyle connection is important... So yes respond if you have time...
    Many smiles

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    1. That's it, the connection is important. We lovers of spanking have to be so closeted in our real life we need this back and forth interaction with one another.

      Delete
  20. I think its a sign of respect. If a commenter is taking the time to leave a comment, the blogger should take the time to respond. Of course, sometimes that's not always possible, but it is something that we should all make an effort to do.

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    1. Respect is a good way of putting it. It may not work out for us to get back to it every time, but it should be the norm.

      Delete
  21. Dear PK: A blog is different from an author's publicity site. Why one decides to commit to a blog I don't know ... it is a lot of time and commitment to have good one. (Which you do. Very.) What I do know is there is a vast and wonderful difference to the reader. A chance to learn, to enjoy, to share a bit, and to grow.

    So, big YES. I appreciate a response. But ... not in every case. Here, for example you've had what 40 responses so far. I'm not adding anything new to the conversation. Mostly, I think, I'm doing what many of your regular readers are doing: Saying thank you for initiating all these little conversations along the sidewalk by the picket fence. Thanks.

    Jon

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    1. Yep, I love our back yard, over the fence conversations. For me answering comments is something I want to do. Whether someone gives me a whole new way of thinking to someone who say's 'Hey' - I want to say hey back.

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  22. I try to answer all the comments left on my blog. I just don't do it in a timely manner. And I do go back to see if there is a reply to a comment that I left.
    However, I'm not offended if the blog author doesn't reply. To each his own, I guess.

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    1. I can say that's true for me too. I choose to answer my commenters. I like it when others do, but I'm not offended if they don't have the time.

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  23. Anonymous7:26 AM

    Hi PK,
    I love reading your blog. Your reply to my first comment (after eons of lurking) was quite a thrill. It made me feel wecomed and valued. I don't expect a reply, but appreciate it if I get one. Thank you for all the time and effort you put into this blog. I am sincerely grateful.
    Pittsburgh Pam

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    1. I am glad you're here Pam. This is pretty much why I blog - to make others feel welcomed and NORMAL in out mutual interest. Please come by and visit anytime.

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  24. It is very important to me as both a writer and a reader. As a writer when I post something and someone takes the time to comment even if just to say hello, not only do I feel like it is courtesy to respond and acknowledge that there voice was heard and I appreciate them, but also I feel inspired to reply. I want to have a conversation with them. As a reader, when I comment and I receive a reply I feel a certain joy and gratitude for the connection. If I am reading a book, I become part of the story and when it is over I sometimes feel a loss and miss those characters but I move on. When I read the blogs it is not just about reading a good story or someone's thoughts, it is about the connection and friendships it brings. While I understand that there may be reasons that someone not to reply to a comment and I will respect that as their choice or understand if time does not allow from time to time as we all experience that every once and a while, myself included. But a reply - even a simple word or two to let the reader know they were heard makes it so much more meaningful to me. :-)

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