I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Tuesday, March 17, 2015

Fight at school

I had a fight with my boss yesterday. Now that’s not really unusual, I fight with him daily; it’s just that usually the fights are confined to inside my head. Not so yesterday.  We had a crazy mama come in last week. She wanted to talk to the math teacher so I just planned to go in and give her the social studies grades and get out, there is usually little joy in parent conferences. But this mama was nuts and I wasn’t leaving my partners alone with her. She accused us of not teaching her child anything, that we were prejudice because he is Hispanic, that we expected him to be a custodian – but she has decided he will be a doctor.  She rarely let us speak and over talked us when we tried.

The truth is she has a pretty nice kid and very bright. Problem is he doesn’t want to do his work or study – strangely enough that causes his grades to go down. After letting her have her say and that ‘we’ (mostly one teacher) weren’t doing our jobs I told her, “From what I can see you are doing a great job as his mother, and I can assure you we are doing our jobs as teachers. It seems the one not doing their job is your son and until he decides to do the work there is not much you or we can do for him.”

The mom accosted the boss in the parking lot Monday morning  to tell him her version of what was said at the meeting. And nearly everything she told him was untrue. She basically took everything she was accusing us of and told him we said it. I’m sure she heard that, she just didn’t realize it was all coming from her.

At planning Mr. K was to report to the office. Now you know if you’ve read here long Mr. K and I aren’t the best of friends, but after working with him for several years I feel more like an exasperated mother than an enemy. The administration is blaming him for things he has not done and demanding things from him that they demand from no one else. It’s getting my back up.

In an email the boss sent to Mr. K, he outlined all the mother had said and said he wanted to meet with Mr. K at planning time. Megan and I, who had been at the meeting, decide to go with him as support and as witnesses.

The boss refused to allow us in. I tried to speak to him as he walked into his office, but as he always does when I try to speak to him he kept walking. Slightly louder (but I swear, not yelling) I tried to say, “You better listen to us because we were at the meeting and heard what she and Mr. K said.”

He blazed out of his office half way through my sentence, seeming quite angry, saying, “This is not how we’re handling this. I’ll speak with you later.” And disappeared into the office with Mr. K and the vice principal. To say I was pissed would be an understatement.

We waited – mostly as a show of support for Mr. K, for nearly an hour. Then he asked Megan and me to meet with him. As he ushered us in, I pulled out my phone – very obviously, to tape the meeting. Megan told him what had actually been said at the meeting. I remained too angry to do much talking. Then he asked Megan and the VP to leave and for me to remain.

I won’t go into all the details, but we each aired out some of our feelings and disagreements. I was able to state my piece and despite how angry I was I managed to be polite and professional – and I didn’t cry, which is a problem I sometimes have when I’m very angry. I was proud of me. I have tenure and one year to go, he doesn’t have much to hold over me and by the time I left his office he was apologizing to me.

So I guess you would say things are tense at school. But if he pushes too hard I have one back up – thank to all of you for listening to me for so many years, I now know how to write. I can state my positions well, and I can be persuasive if necessary. In other words I have a computer and I’m not afraid to use it. I’ve been around long enough to have lots of friends at the education center. Here’s hoping today is a better day.

29 comments:

  1. Keeping my fingers cross for a better day tomorrow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It was better, but I came home feeling like I'd been beaten - and not in the good way.

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  2. I've had situations at work where I get so angry I cry. I hate it when that happens but I think it keeps me from saying something I regret. It sounds like you kept everything under control. I hope you have a better day!
    Amyee

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    1. I have always despised confrontation, but as I've gotten older that is lessening. I don't like it, but when I feel I'm truly right occasional seek it out.

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  3. Hi PK, oh those tense work situations are so tough, I feel for you. Good on you and Megan for standing up for your colleague. It sounds as though you handled the situation well.

    I really hope that tomorrow is a better day.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    Replies
    1. Mr. K told me how much he appreciated it. I don't think many people have ever stood up for him.

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  4. It was good that you supported your colleague.

    Hope today is a better one for you.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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    Replies
    1. It was better - I never laid eyes on the boss!

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  5. Yeah for you....hope today is better. I taught one year under the 'principal for hell".....She tried to sweep in and change everything..no questions asked.
    Hang in there..soon it will be only 1 more year..
    hugs abby

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    Replies
    1. Bosses like that drive me nuts. I'm curious to see if we get a new one for my last year. For me I'd just as soon keep the jerk rather than trying to break in another.

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  6. We have all had bosses like that. You did well and another day to cross out has happened. I have been exactly where you are. Parents who advocate beyond reason for their child are doing such a disservice to us all.
    Meredith

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    Replies
    1. I often feel sorry for the kids and have more compassion for them after I meet some parents.

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  7. I am so glad I am retired from teaching. This brought back soooo many memories of how difficult situations can get. Well done for handling it all so well. Just keep counting down the days....

    Hugs
    Ami

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    Replies
    1. I'm counting, I'm counting - some days I have to count the hours. I think you are well out of it.

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  8. Crying, yea me too.
    I am so happy you were able to be supportive and able to state what truly happened. Be proud of yourself!
    I'm glad you have that next career now!!

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    Replies
    1. That angry cry makes me so mad! But sometimes we can't help it.

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  9. Great response to the parent about the kids being the only one not dong his job. Will definitely share that with my friends that are teachers. Sorry that Mr. K. has to make things not so enjoyable. But you did well and you are a good ally.

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    Replies
    1. He is like one of my kids - I can fuss about him all I want. But other have to be kind and fair to him.

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  10. You go girl. We are proud of you. Congrats on handling it very well.

    FD

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    Replies
    1. Thanks FD, it kinda made me feel strong.

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  11. It is brave of you to defend Mr K.

    appy

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    Replies
    1. I hope I'm doing it for the right reasons and not just to irritate the boss.

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  12. Hi PK, I hope that tomorrow is a better day, good on you for sticking up for your colleague,
    love Jan,xx

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    Replies
    1. It was better, but I can't believe that tomorrow is only Wednesday.

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  13. Good for you PK! You sound like a great teacher, and teachers don't receive nearly as much gratitude as they should. So, on behalf of slacker kid's mom, I thank you for teaching not only all of the future "custodians," but future doctors, lawyers, social workers, CEO's, etc...

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    Replies
    1. I tried to tell the mom that while her little precious could certainly be a doctor if he liked, but that I respected the custodians in our school as much as I did my doctor.

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  14. Sorry you had to endure not only the mother but the principal PK. Hopefully today and the rest of your time will be easier. So happy you have a computer and are not afraid to use it...we all know you can write very well. ;) Sending lots of positive energy your way.

    Hugs and Blessings...
    Cat

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    Replies
    1. I appreciate the positive energy! I appreciate all of you guys too - you give me confidence.

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  15. reading out of order...glad the next day proved to be better...

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