I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Thursday, June 13, 2013

Driving myself crazy



There is good news in blogland today, everyone needs to go by ‘Aimless Rambling’ and get the scoop from Sunny!




As for me, I’ve come here to complain because you all will listen and might even understand. Just a note, so you’ll know I’m not crazy – I know that nothing I’m going to be complaining about rises anywhere near the level of ‘problem’, but I’m still going to complain like they are.

Reading and writing are both a true passion for me, and truly what I want to do on my summer vacation. I feel like I’m trying to read three books at once. I don’t mean one on my night stand, one on my kindle and one by my recliner, oh no, I feel like all three are sitting in front of me and I’m rotating reading one word from each and trying to keep them all straight.  Can you imagine how confusing that would be?

Only it’s not reading that’s doing this to me but writing.  I’ve been working hard to get the Cassie book edited and get it sent off to a publisher, it’s nearly there but I can’t seem to let go.  There are several good publishing houses out there that work with our genre and that makes it very hard to choose. This means all the things that happened with Cassie seven years ago are swirling in my head, meanwhile she has things going on now that she wants me to write. But my mind is so full I can’t get all of it clearly.

I also want to be posting here.  Not that there is too much happing along the TTWD lines, but I think that’s partly because I’m so preoccupied with Cassie’s life I’m not paying attention to my own.  Nick will never need to be jealous of another man, but all the people living in my head do sometimes seem to demand a lot of my attention. It’s a strange addiction, you can stay away from cigarettes, heck people even kick cocaine but how do you stop thinking?

You’ve probably realized by now that my need to keep posting isn’t because I think I have something earthshattering to say, I post for me because I know the importance of all of us talking together. This contact is very good for me.

But now I sit down to write and the book, a Cassie post, and a post for here are all pushing and shoving trying to have their say first that I get so confused, give up and go check Facebook.  Doesn’t make for a very productive day.

I wish I could get my thoughts organized. Maybe assign myself one writing task per day, and on that day I have to ignore the others.  Maybe I should stick to one thing until it’s done. I don’t know.

For those of you with real problems, forgive me. I have the summer off, my sweet Nick does the majority of the cooking and cleaning around here and all the outside work. My kids are away, busy and productive and Nick and I are healthy and happy. For those who think I need a good spanking for complaining please make an appointment to come by and bring your own implement (excluding canes).

Thanks for listening guys, it means a lot.  Brand new Fantasy Friday for tomorrow with a new twist.  I think you’ll like it.

18 comments:

  1. I love it. I'd send Ray but don't think it would do you any good.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Sunny, I guess it's the thought that counts.

      Delete
  2. Hi PK, I am about to read the scoop on Sunny's blog, but I got the gist. Such brilliant and exciting news!

    Oh dear, I know that feeling. Sometimes we have so much we want to do everything competes with each other and we can't seem to focus. Maybe setting yourself a writing task each day is a good idea. As for the reading, one at a time maybe.

    I'm sure Nick can help you prioritise :)

    Hugs,
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Roz,
      I'm really excited for Sunny! I know setting priorities would be good, but I'm not sure what I should put at the top.

      Delete
  3. PK, I know exactly what you're talking about. There is so much in my head that want to come out .. I want have time to work on my jewelry., I want to have time to read and write .. and in the end it eventually becomes nothing of it.
    It makes me sad.
    I think your proposal to divide things up is good:
    Monday;'s Cassie day. All day.
    Tuesday: I do nothing else, just read .. etc..¨

    It seems that you have the opportunity and the time to plan your time, then do it.
    We others will be envious look at what all you have done .. lol ..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mona,
      I know we're lucky that we have so many interest and so many thing we want to do. I am lucky to have this time to use as I like.

      Delete
  4. PK,
    as my mentor said many years ago, prioritize.
    Easier said than done, I know.
    But I would never have got anything done, if I hadn't learned that lesson, especially now.
    Love and warm hugs,
    Paul.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Paul,
      I wish you could help me put these things in order.

      Delete
  5. I completely understand the draws of wanting to do everything on summer vacation and accomplishing nothing. The stacks of books are piling up and the ideas for trying my hand at writing are swirling in my head. Best of luck. You'll get there. Sometimes letting go of your "baby" can be the hardest thing.

    Hugs,
    TL

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. TL,
      That's a little of how it seems - wanting to do so many things and nothing really getting done. This baby's been in my head for 45 years. As a child I always pretended I was going to write a book, who knew.

      Delete
  6. I think a word in Nick's ear could help you focus.

    Super news for SG, really happy for her.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ronnie,
      I probably could, but I probably won't try.

      Delete
  7. sometimes it is hard to force yourself to do things like priortize or make choices even it it is something you enjoy...try not to be too hard on yourself. And complain away...that is what friends are for...and even little problems are still important to you and therefore to us. As for the need for being spanked for complaining...I do not know that you should be allowed to choose the implement - just saying :-) I'll save a cookie for you...
    Hugs, terps

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    Replies
    1. Terps,
      Choosing between things you like is tough sometimes. Now I don't what to choose, just veto!

      Delete
  8. How do you stop thinking... let us know if you figure that out. Maybe Nick could help you sort out who gets what when. Give each character their own implement. Canes excluded, of course.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rogue,
      Thanks, I'll sort it all out. No canes! But that stopping thinking, I'll never master that.

      Delete
  9. Oh I get it. After the school year ends it is like we are in limbo. We are so used to endless busy days that we cannot focus. You will start to work through it all.
    I do think Nick should get his spanking hand in shape however!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Minelle,
      I'm sure not very focused. I'm not sure how I feel about Nick's hand at the moment. I mean, I'm glad it's there, but I haven't really missed spanking lately.

      Delete