When children discover your "secret"

If any of you have had this problem I would love to hear how you handled it.

I read with horror and just a little amusement about the problems Grace and Bossman had the other day. You need to go here and read it but the upshot was that their son over heard them in an, hmmm… intimate moment. Now we all know how children feel about their parents and sex – it doesn’t happen. I mean now as a grow woman thinking back about my own parents I have finally realized that they did have sex twice because I have an older sister. But that’s it. Having anything distort this belief for a child can be traumatic, at least for the moment.

Sex is natural and as children grow older they have to accept that it’s going to happen – even to parents; that’s just the way biology is. But how do you go about explaining that daddy turns mama over his knee and spanks her bottom and that she likes it and thinks it’s sexy? Lets quickly come to a screeching halt – you can’t explain that one! But at one time that was my dilemma.

The very first time we dabbled in spanking was long before I started the blog. I’d never really heard of blogs and it was with great fear that I typed ‘spanking’ into google. This was about 2003. I found a few pictures but I didn’t look deeply enough to find anyone to talk to. I did, however, sent Nick and email – nearly blew his mind for his semi-frigid wife to suggest anything sexual not to mention something like this. I was why too embarrassed to talk (still am mostly) so we began exchanging emails. There was nothing graphic, mostly silly, flirting things. We spoke of naughty wives needing there bottom spanked and similar topics along with more mundane things like when we would be alone for the afternoon. Nothing horrible I thought… until I got the note from Mollie.

It was short, “I read your email and I know about ‘Lizzy’” (the name I used to sign our little love notes). At that time Mollie was only 10 and I was horrified that she had seen this. My mind was swirling – which ones had she read – did she really understand what they were saying – and most importantly, what was I going to day to her?? Unlike poor Grace, I did have the luxury of time. Mollie had left a note. I thought about it for 24 hours becoming somewhat calmer as I did. Finally I decided to leave her a note. It was also short and to the point.

1. My email is private and you will never read it again.

2. You father and I love each other. You never have to worry about us divorcing or being unfaithful to one another. We’ll be here together for the rest of our lives.

3. If you have any questions or would like to discuss anything you read I’ll be happy to. Just come ask me after you have been happily married for 20 years or more and we’ll discuss it as much as you like.

I left the note where she would find it and the following day I got one last note from her. It read “I'm sorry I read your email. I understand.” That’s it and it’s never come up since. Now Mollie didn’t just accidently overhear something she went snooping and I firmly believe – and have told the children as they grew older ‘If you go snooping into things that are none of your business you deserve whatever trauma you get.’ She doesn’t seem ‘damage’ and sometimes I don’t even think she remembers – and I ain’t asking!

Children do survive growing up and realizing at some point that their parents were young one, dated, probably had pre-marital sex, continued to have sex throughout their married life and maybe, just maybe they had an interesting kink or two. Except for my parent – they had sex twice and I’m sure the lights were off.