I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Wednesday, January 05, 2011

I hope everyone will read this

I love having this blog. I know I sounded pretty down yesterday. I am a little down, but having a place to come and be able to let it out means a lot to me. Basically I’m a pretty happy person but sometimes the fantasies of being a spanko and the realities of trying to live that life are pretty far apart. And yes, sometime it does make me – sad, mad, confused, or some combination of all these. Sometimes when this is all going on in my mind a friend or colleague will notice that I’m not myself and they’ll ask “What’s wrong? Are you all right?” Now come on spankos, really, how do you answer those questions? I guess I could just say,

“Well, you see, it’s like this. I really like it when Nick dominates me a little. Even better is when he spanks my ass. I really like that. We have great toys that are just going to waste. We have paddles and floggers, we have a tawse and some belts, a friend sent a cane from the UK, and we have spoons and spatulas and dozens of pervertables. We even have cuffs and ropes. Nick’s good at using all these things but he hasn’t been much interested in any of it lately and I’m not sure it will ever be back.”

See my dilemma? I’m feeling down and I’m not able to explain what’s going on or to share even the tiniest hint of what’s wrong with anyone in real life. That’s why being able to come here and vent is so important to me. I don’t expect anyone to have answers for me. I know there isn’t anyone out there who can ‘fix’ this for us, but I can talk to friends here. And those of you who read here understand about the spanking world. I don’t have to hide from you; I don’t have to pretend I’m fine when things aren’t feeling right. Here I can be myself and write – whether I’m feeling sexy or funny or sad or silly or depressed or just thoughtful, I can write it here and I know I’m safe.

What I’m trying to say to all of you is thank.


  1. I know exactly what you mean! Vent away...it is a safe place. Feel free to vent in an email anytime also! We all need a place like this. It is comforting to know someone else "out there' gets it!

  2. PK, you are so welcome.
    That's what friends are for.
    Love and warm hugs,

  3. It's good to have a place you can write.
    Your our dear friend PK and because you are we want to hear what's troubling you, the highs,lows and rants, we care.


  4. It is healthy to vent and I agree with the rest that is what friends are for.

    Have you and your husband thought about going away for a couple days ? Sometimes it is just what you need to get rekindled, just the two of you, especially after the holidays.

  5. Thanks Abby, only spanko understand each other. And sometime even we don't understand completely.

    I feel like we have been friends for a long time. I hope we will be for a long time to come.

    It's good to know my friends are opened to anything I need to post.

  6. Kaki,
    Venting is healthy! And sometimes I do a lot of it! Nick and I don't get away much on our own. But it is something to think about.

  7. Venting is good! I know things will be fine. You and Nick are a terrific team and I know he wants to make you happy. It's just getting there that's the problem!