I love having this blog. I know I sounded pretty down yesterday. I am a little down, but having a place to come and be able to let it out means a lot to me. Basically I’m a pretty happy person but sometimes the fantasies of being a spanko and the realities of trying to live that life are pretty far apart. And yes, sometime it does make me – sad, mad, confused, or some combination of all these. Sometimes when this is all going on in my mind a friend or colleague will notice that I’m not myself and they’ll ask “What’s wrong? Are you all right?” Now come on spankos, really, how do you answer those questions? I guess I could just say,
“Well, you see, it’s like this. I really like it when Nick dominates me a little. Even better is when he spanks my ass. I really like that. We have great toys that are just going to waste. We have paddles and floggers, we have a tawse and some belts, a friend sent a cane from the UK, and we have spoons and spatulas and dozens of pervertables. We even have cuffs and ropes. Nick’s good at using all these things but he hasn’t been much interested in any of it lately and I’m not sure it will ever be back.”
See my dilemma? I’m feeling down and I’m not able to explain what’s going on or to share even the tiniest hint of what’s wrong with anyone in real life. That’s why being able to come here and vent is so important to me. I don’t expect anyone to have answers for me. I know there isn’t anyone out there who can ‘fix’ this for us, but I can talk to friends here. And those of you who read here understand about the spanking world. I don’t have to hide from you; I don’t have to pretend I’m fine when things aren’t feeling right. Here I can be myself and write – whether I’m feeling sexy or funny or sad or silly or depressed or just thoughtful, I can write it here and I know I’m safe.
What I’m trying to say to all of you is thank.