I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Tuesday, September 14, 2010

See ya later

I got the comment below on my last post. When I read it my first thought was ‘Can’t do it.’ But I think maybe there was some excellent advice here. I don’t know if I can give up writing all together because it’s my major stress relief and a real joy to me. But I think I’ll take a break here. Never have before, after 4 years I guess it’s time. We always tease about wishing our guys could read our minds. I can honestly say this time it wouldn't help. I have no more idea what I want that Nick does.

I probably won’t be gone long. If anyone needs me I’ll be checking my email.

Anonymous said...

I've been reading about this for many years now; wives who want to be spanked or dominated in some way and husbands who do it enthusiastically at first, then eventually slow down and sometimes stop altogether. I asked my husband about why this happens and he said that for a lot of husbands, the whole thing can start to feel like a chore.

"Spank the wife, take out the garbage.." You know.

It starts to sound like nagging. Which is the last thing any of us wants to do, I know.

Which is why I disagree with the advice to "communicate nonstop" about this topic. A lot of men feel they are already getting too MUCH communication about it. They're sick of it. Even though we women do not think we are overdoing it, ofttimes *they* do.

So, one thing you can do is give it a rest for a while. Doesn't mean forever, just a while. Instead, maybe focus on *his* fantasies? Cater to his desires for a while instead of yours? When was the last time you guys focused solely on his stuff? :)

And maybe back off reading the blogs about spanking and writing about spanking and getting your head into "all things spanking". Take a break from it.

I know from my own experience that when I read lots of blogs on certain topics, I become consumed by that topic. I obsess on it, that's all I want to think about.

But if I resist and stop going to such websites, the urge to constantly think about that topic recedes.

You may find that after you take the pressure off Nick and let your obsession slack off for a while, things might pick up again naturally.

Just some ideas, based on my own experience as well as observing others for so long, now. :) Good luck! :)


  1. Sorry girls, but since when did asking for what we want sexually or sensually become nagging. I thought we had come further than that in the last few decades. You have looked after this guy and his child for years, probably rushing around trying to hold down a job at the same time, and he can’t be bothered to switch on his imagination every couple of days and do some role-play!
    Why should you be denied what you want. Don’t let it drift – have it out with him.
    In not so many years you might be having to look after him when he is ill- you are going to feel mightily resentful then.
    Sieze the day!

  2. PK, I have my doubts about the soundness of this advise.
    You aren't a nagging wife, anonymous is building on your self doubts.
    I doubt that you have the time to do that much reading in term time.
    What you decide to do about your blog is up to you.
    You won't get shot of me that easy.
    Love and warm hugs,

  3. I wish Maddy would blog. She makes interesting comments.

    To start with, I have trouble taking advice from people who won't identify themselves.

    And even if it is a chore for him, isn't it worth doing to please his wife?

    Hey, PK, you know I care about you and it is your life so I just wish you the best.

    But I hope you keep blogging even if yoiu decide to stay away from this topic.


  4. PK - Sometimes taking b a break helps to clear our minds. Do whatever you need to do, but for the right reasons. Anon makes some good points, but they don't necessarily apply in all cases.

    We'll still be here when you get back.


  5. PK, You have to do what feels right for you and you alone. Pop in and out do whatever your friends aren't going anywhere.

    Love and hugs.

  6. Sister all i can say is do what you feel is right. If a break is what you need then so be it. There are some good points in all of the comments. But what ever you do just make SURE that you keep in touch. As i told you this morning.."CAN'T LIVE WITHOUT YOU"!.

  7. I may not feel like blogging but I will always answer my comments. I think the hardest part is feeling down and not being able to explain why I'm not myself at work. You guys are still the only ones who understand.

    I don't think Nick sees it as much as nagging as I do. And I have to admit he takes care of me more than the other way around. I may yet seize the day but today isn't the day.

    Dear Paul,
    Is she building on my self doubts or pointing out the obvious?

    One thing I know for sure is that I never want to lose contact with you.

    Thank you and I agree about Maddy. As for Anonymous - this is the internet, would it have mattered if she had signed a name?

    I'm pretty sure I'll keep blogging but right now I just don't know what to say.

    Thanks Hermione,
    My friends here mean the world to me.

    I'm glad you're here and I really do enjoy emailing with you.

    I hope you know by now that you're stuck with me forever.