My computer troubles continue. I'm on Nick's now. I can't get the cord to stay in to keep mine charged. Grrrrrrrrr... I am planning on getting another one soon. CeeCi did some research for me and tells me Windows 7 is coming out on October 22 so I think I will at least hold out until then. That is if Nick will continue to share with me.
Now for my thoughts...
I’m not submissive. I never have been. That’s okay Nick never wanted me to be. I thought I was/wanted to be submissive. I grew up on that fantasy. Cassie’s Tom was my dream man. But that is were it all needs to stay in my dreams/fantasy. Nick is real life and he is exactly what I need.
I spent the first few years after I came out hoping, wishing, and waiting for us to begin DD relationship. But it just didn’t ever seem to happen. Nick is the very best at fun, erotic spanking but the discipline that I always dreamed about just never really materialized. He has come close at times, at least with the whole get healthier life style and for a few other important things. But he is never going to be the kind of husband to ‘punish’ me for anything.
Like I’ve said before I don’t do much to be ‘punished’ for. I don’t act bitchy and fight with him, I don’t over spend, I don’t … hmmm… what do wives get spanked for in real life? Well, what ever these things are, I must not do them. It may not sound exciting but we are as comfortable together as an old pair of shoes. And the things I do that might bug someone else just don’t bother Nick.
Many times I’ve asked for discipline and he has made a half hearted effort. It annoys him when I leave a pile of clothes at the end of the bed. He doesn’t like it when I leave my socks by my chair instead of taking them back to the laundry. And he doesn’t like it when I leave my laundry sitting around for day instead of putting it away. Sometimes he would mention it and occasionally he would even spank me for it but I knew he was never really serious.
So while I knew these little things bothered him I also knew he wasn’t going to “do” anything about it so after a day or two of trying to keep on top of these things I eventually blew it off. It was something Kaylynn said to me in an email that really got me thinking. She said “You aren’t doing these things because he’ll spank you if you don’t; you’re doing them to show him that you love him and respect him.”
I think that comment made this life style more realistic than anything else I had heard out here. I’ve been doing better on all theses things. Nick may not ever have noticed yet but I’ve really been trying.
I'm still thinking about all this so I will continue my rambling thoughts later this week if the computer situation works out. Nick and I also had a wonderful Friday afternoon that I would like to tell you about. In fact now that my computer is shot I suddenly have many, many post I can think of to write. Go figure!