I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Tuesday, June 17, 2008


It’s a sad day here. My nephew died his morning. He had an 11 month old son. My nephew was 20 years old. Twenty-five years ago his mom and I were best buddies and worked together. She met Nick’s baby brother when they were both in our wedding and two years later they were married. My good friend became my SIL. I was with her three years later when she did a pregnancy test to find out this boy was coming. We were so happy we cried, you cannot imagine the joy we felt. Five months later she was with me when I did a test to find out LJ was coming. More tears of joy. We spent that summer talking about how to raise our children and what good friends they would be.

The boys were good friends when they were young but as they reached their teen years their interests went in different directions. My nephew turned first to sports and then unfortunately as he got older to drinking and drugs.

In the last few months he had been doing better. We all hoped and prayed that everything was going to be alright. But this morning that hope was dashed forever.

His mom is on the cruise with her other son and another SIL and Mollie. They don’t know what has happened yet. The boy’s dad is devastated and confused about exactly what to do next. Call the ship, wait until they get home and tell then when they call? We have offered to drive down with them to help drive everyone home. I don’t suppose either of my SIL will be in very good shape. I also worry about Mollie. She has lost my parents but it was expected and we all had time to adjust. She has never experienced a shock like this and about someone so young. I want to be with her. LJ is back in his college town but we have talked today. He knows I need to connect with him and he has called several times. I also have a great need to hug Mollie.

Right now Nick and I are just trying to be here for each other. We are so worried about his parents dealing not only with losing a grandson but know the hurt their own son is going through. Right now I just want it to not be true, I want it to go away, I don’t want to have to see the family is such pain. Thank you all for being here as a release for me.


  1. I have learned in my long years as a nurse there is no "right" thing to say. So here's a hug. I have good shoulders and really good ears too if you need to talk.

    My heart goes out to you all.

    Love you

  2. Hugs and a kiss on the top of your head my dear friend.

  3. Anonymous7:27 PM

    I'm here.

  4. This is just the worst possible news for your SIL. For your nephew's dad, if he goes to church, I would suggest he talk to the pastor, so that the pastor can offer advice. If not, he should contact the cruise line, and they will probably have suggestions about what best to do.

    Your suggestion of going with your nephew's dad sounds good. He will need someone.

    Sadly, I've dealt with personal loss too many times.

    You have my thoughts and prayers with you and your family, PK.


  5. i'm here too and i'm so sorry..

  6. Pk
    I am so very sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Such a sad and tragic loss when someone young who had their whole life ahead of them passes away so suddenly. I just wanted you to know that I care.

    I Gal

  7. Sweetie, I am thinking about you and your family. So very, very sad. You have my prayers.


  8. Marie9:26 PM

    I am so sorry PK. There is nothing I can do to help, but maybe offer a prayer for you and your family and I will do that. It will take time to come to some sort of peace about your nephew. Your SIL is lucky to have a good friend in you. She'll need you.
    Hugs and sympathy,

  9. My heart and prayers go out to all of you. I was so shocked by the news, and saddened that i forgot your daughter wasn't with you. I feel so for you. It will be really tough. I'm a good listener if you want to talk. I'll alwyas be here for you


  10. Anonymous10:23 PM

    So very sorry, I will offer my prayers as well for all of your family, May you find some comfort in his love.


  11. I'm so very sorry - you and your family are in our prayers.



  12. I am so sorry. I am thinking of you and your family.

    Take Care!

  13. PK, words escape me. I'm giving you and Nick a great big hug. I am so sorry for your loss.

    Debbie :)

  14. Wow. All I can do is (((HUG))) you.
    I will pray for your family. So sorry!

  15. My heart is heavy and aching for you and your family.

    I love you, dearest friend. My thoughts and prayers are yours.

  16. Anonymous3:35 AM

    This is terribly sad news PK and I hope you and your family pull together and help each other through this.

    My thoughts are with you.


  17. PK i'm so sorry to hear about your loss. my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  18. Sending hugs and friendship your way. I am here for you if you need anything.