Trying again, I think.

I really appreciate the comments I got from the ‘Are there any Spankos out here?’ There are still those working on TTWD and we all seem to be able to acknowledge that it ain’t always easy! I had put it away. No, I didn’t ask Nick. I assumed I’d already gotten that answer by the fact it was no longer in our lives. But then he emailed. You know we communicate that way better than any other.

Sometimes Nick writes to my alter-ego, Liz. He ask her questions about me and sometimes it’s easier for her to just tell it like it is. (Okay, maybe it’s weird, but it works for us. With his permission I’m posting some of our exchanges.) He said...

Liz,

Once again I need your assistance. Consider the situation as I see it and consider weighing in as an arbitrator.

My lovely wife made changes without discussing things in advance or expressing her feelings in any way. She did so while making assumptions about my feelings. Simply put these could be seen as spanking offenses.

PK, on the other hand, would make a strong case that she assumed our agreements weren't currently active.

Perhaps as an unbiased arbitrator you could weigh in the best interest of all parties.

Liz answered him...

Nick,

Personally I think your wife watches ‘Friends’ too much, when I first asked her about this, all she did was yell, “WE WERE ON A BREAK!” She admits she came to this belief without actually talking to you or asking anything about what you were thinking. On the other hand, for months and months you gave no indication by word or deed that you were not on a break. So neither of you is blameless in the situation you now find yourselves.

Your wife is scared. She’s scared to give up the comfort she’s found in walling herself off from all feelings of TTWD. And she’s also scared to say no, and give up the hopes and dreams that are a part of her.

As an arbitrator, I’m trying to see both sides. I think you would love for her to give up the push for a ‘lifestyle’ and just enjoy the fun, sexy, playful side of TTWD. She could pretend this for a while. But it would be a lie, a game she would quickly tire of. If there is no realism for her, the game eventually becomes annoying. Yet she is not looking for heavy rigid rules, especially ones that neither of you really care about.

What I could finally get her to tell me was this: she’s changing her ‘no’ about TTWD to a maybe. She’s willing to explore again, tentatively. But I don’t think she plans on directing. She tried that for a dozen years and it didn’t work. If you want to give her some strong suggestions with the idea you might spanking her if she doesn’t go along, then for pity sake chose something you feel serious about. I think she’s willing to accept your thoughts on penalties for not discussing all this beforehand. 

*One note – I heard from her butt, her lily white, returned to a virgin vanilla state and wants to stay that way, butt. It said, and I quote, “Leave me the hell out of this! I didn’t agree to one damn thing. Can’t you just yell at her like other husbands do? I shouldn’t have to pay the price! This isn’t fair!”

I told her butt to shut-up and take one for the team.

That’s how it started. More later…