Just a quick up date. Mollie seems to have done fine with her root canal. As usual, paying was the most painful. But what can you do? The cardiologist is doing some test next week, but nothing on the EKG alarmed him, so we’ll see what they show.
I enjoyed my lunch with the pastor. We talked about many things. She seemed very interested in what I had to say about reincarnation and asked questions. I pointed out several places in the Bible that seem to refer to the concept. I think I honestly gave her something to think about.
Now the next subject – TTWD. We haven’t been active in TTWD for a long, long time. A little slap and tickle one and a while, but nothing really. Nick has brought it up again. My head is asking, ‘do I really want to even try again?’ My heart says, ‘You’re a spanko, how can you not try again if he wants to?’
I know TTWD is easier when I feel I have support out here – having other women in my situation who are willing to talk and share their experiences with me, as well as listen to what I want to share, is important. Those willing to voice that support has definitely dwindled out here. I appreciate all of you who do still participate. If you read here and are in a spanking relationship and you’re willing to give and receive support I’d welcome your comments. Think about it.
Hi Pk,glad Mollie survived the root canal and that things went well with the cardiologist.
ReplyDeleteI totally hear you on do I or don't I want to try again. We have been there. Ttwd had been absent for so long. We used to talk about it every now and then and I was conflicted as to whether I wanted it back. Recently though, we have sort of slowing started getting back on the bandwagon:)
Hugs
Roz
It would be hard to say no to trying again. But I think I really want to see what he has in mind.
DeleteHey PK,
ReplyDeleteI'm glad Mollie survived with the freezing intact (The freezing NEVER lasts for me and I end up doing most of the work without it....sigh...ouch)
Ironically, the Sheriff and I just had a knock down drag out fight about TTWD. After a long discussion, he appologized for letting me down and that obviously this was something that was important to me, so could I tell him specifically what I thought it would look like, since I obviously had put a lot of thought into it. I told him he had to do his own research as well, but that I would spend some time and write it out (still doing that).
Now, this past Tuesday, we were discussing some testing he thought I should have done that I was adamantly refusing and what does he do? Pull up his research on his tablet and tell me that if I really wanted this, I could start showing some respect and do what I am told.
Colour me shocked. So, I guess we are doing this and I am being a good girl and doing what I am told (grump, stamping feet, and pouting!)
So, yes, please HELP!!!!
Hugs
Boo
Seems like a time of renewed interest. I would be shocked too if Nick said what the Sheriff did. I'm not used to him telling me what to do, even though I have always I wanted him too.
DeleteMaybe I will do a post on the lack of spanking in my house...but I am always afraid to sound like I am complaining too much...I long for it - crave it- need it even but I need it to come from him, not always from me asking and that is where we are at the moment... hugs to you
ReplyDeleteExactly. I'm curious to see what might happen this time because he's the one bringing it up.
DeleteHi PK,
ReplyDeleteI have had about a dozen root canals (I've lost count!) and the dentist always suggests Advil for pain. The first two - over 30 years ago - were painful but all the rest were pain-free.
I hope you and Nick get back into TTWD, if it's what you both want.
Hugs,
Hermione
Mollie claims this makes her a grown up. Since she paid for it I guess it does.
Delete*waves* Very much in a spanking relationship. It’s been on and off over the years (the spanking part, not the relationship), but I’m not sure I’d be able to get anywhere without it.
ReplyDeleteThanks for stopping by. I wish there was more talking and visiting and sharing out here.
DeleteNot sure is you want my support or not, but I still read around what is left of blogland. Ttwd is a constant struggle for most of us who actually live it.
ReplyDeleteI understand the hesitation on your part. You have paused a part of you for the most part as a form of emotional protection. The problem is it is part of your make up and no matter what you do or don't it isn't going away.
When we were in our darkest spot a few years ago, my girlfriend who's husband brought this to her asked me how I did it? How did I continue pushing forward with D/s when it seemed B was not there in the way I needed. I told her I had no choice. I knew who I was and I couldn't stand for less now. If B was willing I had to push aside my fears and fight for me.
That being said it was much easier back when blogland was active and supportive, as those blogging interactions augmented our dynamic and often supported it when B could not in a way I needed.
I sincerely hope you find a way to try again for you. I know it's scary, but what is worse? Not going through and having no hope, or giving it a go again with hope? Sure you might end up hurt or disappointed, but you might not.
Willie
Yes it was easier when more people were here to lend an ear and their support. When Nick let it go completely I felt I had not one to turn to - if only to complain, not for them to fix it.
DeleteBut you're right. I'm a spanko whether we're in the life or not. So I do own it to myself to try.
PK,
ReplyDeleteI love that you brought this topic up and I'm happy to see some lovely responses to you here letting you know (and letting each other know by posting here) that TTWD is difficult to keep going, if it even gets off the ground in the first place. It is very difficult to blog about when it isn't going well. Interestingly, it's even a bit lonely in blog land when TTWD actually is going well because it seems kind of rare these days. I hope your talk with Nick goes well if you decide to do it. I'll be here supporting you either way. I do understand the challenges of ttwd! Hugs, Windy
Thanks Windy, all the responses have helped. One thing I realize whether it's going well or not going at all it helps when we support one another.
DeleteI'm in the "many root canals" camp and the procedure has certainly improved significantly over my zillion years of living ;) Glad it went well for her!
ReplyDeleteOur ttwd life is still...complicated. But what we have is comforting and has made us a closer couple.
I find it interesting that Nick is missing it. Do you know what it is that he misses? Or what he hopes to accomplish by bringing it back? I am not sure my hubby understands how important this is to me - because I truly believe it has improved our relationship. I think he does it for me, and not for him, (which is loving for sure) yet he reaps benefits that he does not realize! I'm wondering if Nick has noticed that something is missing for him.
In any case, I do hope you are able to talk it out and figure it out for you as a couple. While I don't believe I am in any position to offer actual advice, I am happy to be here for you in any way I can.
Deena, when you and others comment it helps! I think I do need to ask Nick that specifically - what was he missing. Thought I think I know. When we're very active in TTWD I think we're more sexually active too. That may be his motivation, but maybe not. We're defiantly doing more talking about the subject.
DeleteYep - I was surprised that our ttwd life most definitely has improved our intimacy as well as our communication.
DeleteWishing you all the best are you move forward and figure out what works for you both!
PK,
ReplyDelete"We haven’t been active in TTWD for a long, long time."
A middle 50s guy here into being disciplined by my wife. I never know how much to share as most commenters are or appear to be ladies, but I'm sorry things have cooled down. Sometimes, whatever we do happens in cycles. Sometimes it needs some help. You might try something completely different, like a different situation or location for discipline. Perhaps there's something deep down that Nick would like to attempt but you are reluctant to try. TTWD in a bed and breakfast or fancy hotel?
What works for a man who is disciplined may not work for a woman, but trying something different can. This example won't apply to you, but the concept may:
I've been balding for years and should probably shave my head regularly because I'm completely bald on top and I rather dark hair (though not much) on the sides and top. Sometimes I do a full shave (my wife loves me bald), and sometimes it's a quick trim at the barbershop. My head screams out HEY I'M BALD if I let the remaining hair on the sides and back get long. My wife loves my head shaved and says it makes me look taller and younger. Anyway, we hit a slump where DD wasn't happening, not beyond threats that never materialized. So one day I shocked my wife and said something I've threatened to do before, "I'm letting what hair I have grow and have a ponytail. I still see them. I don't care what you say." My wife thought I was serious and said, "In a minute you'll care." I defiantly said "I am" and she said, "I'm getting the paddle and the cuffs and the electric razor. Go to the basement." "Yes Ma'am!"
She used the cuffs to restrain me to a small pipe and a vice, and tied my feet together. Then, she used that electric razor and clipped off remaining hair! LOL. She said, "stand still" as she ran the razor around and around until I was bald. Then my wife said, "stick out your bum" and she paddled telling me to "hold still." She released my hands and untied my feet when she was done.
I still let my hair grow from time to time and my shaves it in our version of "Sampson and Delilah." You can''t do that of course, but some naughty role play might juice up the discipline.
JL
That's for stopping by JL. You have a point,role playing might be right for many. We've never really been able to make that work. But trying something different is a good idea. We'll just have to find out what that is for us.
Delete