Hope you don’t mind reading, cause there is still a lot swirling around in my head. I feel more relaxed since Nick and I have been emailing. I have learned that once Nick ‘takes up the cause’ I need to let him do it in his own time and I’m in no rush right now. The fact that he’s thinking about it seems to be enough for me at the moment.
I’ve asked before how many of you out there have been
spanked to tears. I know for some it occurs nearly every time, for other,
never. I’m in the never category. I don’t think it will happen, because
basically he’d have to beat me half to death. It's so strange, I can be watching
a sad commercial and tears will be silently running down my cheeks – but it’s not going to happen during a
spanking.
What about this question – have you ever been spanked to
anger? I’m not saying you started the spanking that way. It would take a very
brave, or very stupid (mostly stupid) man to actually grab an angry wife and try
to spank her. I’m rarely that angry and Nick is NOT that stupid. But what if he
were spanking and he kept it up long enough for me to get angry? What would he
do – stop or spank through it.
Now I have a safe word. I could stop the spanking in an
instant. But I have rarely used it and
I don’t want to. I guess what I’m really wondering is, what would be on the
other side of tears or anger? I’ve never been spanked to – emotions. I’m
very guarded with my emotions, and I don’t let go easily. It’s almost like if I
let them go, will I ever be able to get them back? Will I ever feel safe again? Or would I forever feel vulnerable?
Ahh… wouldn’t a shrink have fun with me?
Something I heard in college as I was studying to be a teacher
stuck with me. For classroom control, they told you, “If you don't want them to
get your goat, don't tell them where you tied it.” It's the same with emotions –
it’s dangerous to let other see your emotions, they’ll know your weaknesses and
how to hurt you. I don’t know why I have this fear. My parents were the best
most loving, supportive people in the world. I’ve always had good friends who haven’t
hurt me or betrayed me. And then there’s Nick – the best man ever, who would never intentionally hurt me. Yet I still
feel fear, a tightness my chest when real emotions are about to come out.
Ahh… wouldn’t a shrink have fun with me?
Most of you have seen Steel Magnolias – I feel like M’Lynn
after the funeral. Back at the house, she apologizes for being ‘so emotional’
after the funeral. She says something like, “Maybe I should let my emotions out
more often. Maybe I should do it at home. Drum would be so pleased.”
Would Nick be pleased? I’m not sure.
Would Nick be pleased? I’m not sure.
Hi PK, I have never been spanked to tears, I do remember crying after a spanking once but it wasn't the spanking that did it! I have got angry a few times, once when he was in the wrong and I was just not going to give and sometimes it feels like he can't be bothered . At those times I just get up and say I'm done. Usually everything stops then for ages, till some sort of conversation has happened. I think it probably would help if you could show your emotions a bit but on the other hand you might scare him to death if he is not used to it! Just keep on trying and talking.
ReplyDeletemuch love Jan, xx
I'm not even sure I know how to show my emotions anymore. But I guess I'm going to have to learn to work on it.
DeleteIt just occur to me that I have not done the right thing since when my husband came back to me, I am on this blog to give thanks to whom it deserve, Some couples of weeks ago my life was in a terrible shape because my husband left me and I never believe that I was going to get him back, But through the help of this powerful spell caster called Dr.Ekpen my life is now in a joyful mood, I must recommend the services of Dr.Ekpen to anyone out there that they should contact Dr.Ekpen through these details below: ( ekpentemple@gmail.com ) or whatsapp +2347050270218 because through Dr.Ekpen assistance my marriage was restored.
DeleteIt took me years before I cried during..or after..a spanking. It surprised us both, it was not the hardest spanking ever, but it was during an emotional time. It felt sooooo good to let it out ...he stopped and just held me and we talked. It still is a rare thing, and more tied to emotions that pain. Spanked to anger...once, I stood up, was not gracious, stomped into another room. He followed, pulled me into his arms we chatted and then he did finish the spanking. Both of those brought us closer together. I do not think it is something you can force to happen. Some day the stars might align just right for you...I wish you that.
ReplyDeletehugs abby
I don't imagine it would ever be the pain that could make me cry. I'm really not expecting it to happen.
DeleteTears are rare but have happened on occasion, usually afterwards. As Abby said, it felt good to let it out. There have been occasions I either didn't agree with the spanking or was not in the right mindset for one rather than being angry as such. In these cases sometimes the spanking acted as a re-set and others, I was out of sorts afterwards and we talked it through.
ReplyDeleteHugs
Roz
It's been a long time since we did any spanking on a regular basis so I don't know how I'd feel if we did. When there is only one spanking every few months it can annoy me.
DeleteSince I have a temper, I think there have been several times that I have been angry enough to cry. There have also been times when I can acknowledge that I have been a bitch, and then there are lots of tears, but I don't know whether they are from a spanking or just feeling guilty. Anger and tears are OK with me. It is a whole lot better than bottling up those feelings and not speaking to Sam. I love when a spanking seems to clear the air between us.
ReplyDeleteI love that you are having these internal discussions with yourself and sharing them with us, too. Will you have these with Nick, too?
Hugs From Ella
Maybe. Nick has a computer and he knows I blog. I'd love for a spanking or two to clear my head.
DeleteI think that emotions are the biggest part of us and that we bring things with us when we come into this world. I also believe background (ie. geographic regions, genealogy, etc) also have a great deal to do with how our psyche. So maybe you have to look behind your conscious and go into your subconscious to see why you hold back and are afraid to let go. Finding the answer doesn't necessarily mean you'll change but at least you'll know.
ReplyDeleteYou may be right. So many of us came into this world with an interest in spanking and the belief it must be kept a secret. I really would like to know what's holding me back.
DeleteI am often spanked to anger. It is a natural response to pain. When a spanking starts off fast and furious ( punishments don't get warm ups here) this little subbie gets furious. This doesn't stop my husband. Sometimes he is able to spank me through it, other times he is not. Initially, years ago, he thought he was doing something wrong or *I* was. Not long ago he had me strike him. I was supposed to be able to hit him 20 times- he only managed 3. He was going to prove to me that you don't have to talk in a tone, when in pain, but then realized it wasn't as easy as he thought! Now we have guidelines. If he can't spank me past the anger, we don't talk about the spanking or anything major until the next day. On top of that he gives me time alone. He knows it takes a good 30 minutes for things to settle.
ReplyDeletePerhaps you could talk to Nick about these emotions you worry about ( I tend to be very guarded unless I am were I need to be submission wise)? This type of communication is extremely beneficial BEFORE the proposed problem arrives. Perhaps have a safe word for after? That way if you feel you are angry, he can give you space until you come to him?
As for crying, I have rarely done it during, and it has never been because of the pain.
For the letting go- as scary as it is, once you have done it a few times, I will tell you it becomes addictive! You will always want too-and that can be a lot of pressure on you/Nick.
My advice, talk to Nick, but stay out of your head. Don't think, FEEL and whatever happens happens!
w
I appreciate you comment very much. Now if you could just teach me how to let go and to stay out of my head, I'd really be grateful!
DeleteThe best advice I was ever given years ago for staying out of my head,(at least during) was to 'focus on the pain' aspect of the spanking. If my mind started to wander, I would draw myself back to the present. It is only one small piece of the puzzle, but it does help the process along.
DeleteI've never cried. I would like to. I came close once but it stopped too soon.
ReplyDeleteYou need to let go. What have you got to lose? Nick's not going anywhere. I'd like to tie him down, make him listen and respond until the air is cleared and you really know what he thinks.
Rosie Dee
Sorry. I was tired and cranky when I wrote that. I don't have a problem with Nick. I don't think I have ever been mad when spanked either before or after. I might pretend a little but I am mostly just having a good time.
ReplyDeleteRosie Dee
No problem Rosie! I like your advice I'm just not sure I know how to take it.
DeleteHi PK,
ReplyDeleteI've found myself wrapped tightly in Eric's arms, crying my eyes out after a spanking that did not bring the tears to me but allowed me to let go enough to cry. Like you, I'll tear up in any AT&T "have you called your mother?" commercial but I brace my body and my emotions against the paddle. Spankings change all of the barriers that I focus on to mush and I get to the point where the only thing I can think about it the pain of the implement. It's when I get there and Eric starts loving on me again, that I go to pieces, in a good way. It's like a chick flick that ends with a good cry.
Amy
That's what I need, something - a spanking - that allows me to let go. But I don't know how to advise him to help me get to that point and that would worry him.
DeleteHi PK no I haven't been spanked to tears as Bear finished way too soon. I wish he would go longer but fighting a loosing battle. Never been spanked to anger either. How boring am I!
ReplyDeleteHugs Lindyxx
You're not boring, you're normal!
DeleteNo tears for me as you know. P said he couldn't do it as he could spank me till I wouldn't be able to sit down for a month of Sundays and I still wouldn't cry. And the harder he spanked, or threatened to spank, the more I'd resist so no tears.
ReplyDeleteI am happy you are having these conversations. Maybe work on showing your emotions a little. Not sure. Will you share these posts with Nick? It might help.
Love,
Ronnie
xx
I'm about the same when it comes to crying. I don't think a spanking would do it. I hope I'm sharing them with him. I've asked him to read my blog. And I think he will, at least for a while.
DeleteI wear my heart on my sleeve most the time and cry easily but have never been spanked to tears, though I have cried during or after sex - almost as if I finally relaxed after holding on to all my feelings and finally releasing and letting go of emotions. Because I have always been sensitive I have learned to be guarded when I feel I need to protect myself. I have been hurt before by people I care about and try hard not to show my emotions so easily but also try hard not to let that stop me from being who I really am and allowing myself to feel deeply. I am probably just rambling here but I do empathize with that need to be able to let go. I like what Sunny said about looking inside. And, you can show emotions without crying...keep communicating and sharing. Hugs to you
ReplyDeleteI do know it's a release for many. Sounds like it could be for you too with sex. But the urge to protect ourselves is strong.
Delete