I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

You must be 18 to view this site.

Friday, September 22, 2017

Can 'others' ever understand Spanking stories?

I’m heading to a writer’s convention next month. I definitely have mixed feelings about going. I’m leery of anything that smacks of a formal meeting – a hangover from school days. Add to that the fact that I spent my life as a math teacher, not as an expert on English composition. I have confidence telling Cassie’s stories, but no confidence as a ‘writer’. So sometimes I feel like I don't belong.




I’m not fishing for compliments; I know many of you really enjoy my books and God bless you for it. I’m just telling you how I feel around other writers. When I walk in with my ‘spanking books,’ in my mind, the others in the room have written things like Moby Dick, War and Peace, Gone With the Wind and To Kill a Mocking Bird. Chances are none of the authors of these books will actually be there, but that doesn’t change how I feel.

So I head in with that feeling on my mind and then we go around and tell what genre we write and then I most definitely feel like the red-headed, step child. We go around the room and I hear what others write telling that they write, Gothic, Regency, Science-fiction, Mystery… and they get to me and I say, “I write domestic discipline – basically spanking romance.” There is a moment of silence, then a mixture of slight laughter and disapproving looks. After all they’re all writing about ‘strong’ women.


But, damn it, so am I! If I had a good fifteen minutes I could explain it to everyone there. Whether we practice it or not I understand domestic discipline in my core and I understand that only a truly strong woman would ever think of giving the gift of submission to the person she loves. There is so much I could explain, but after a brief eye-roll, they quickly move on to the next person and I can’t help feeling ostracized and alone and somewhat defensive. 

To get through this I often picture a group of loyal Cassie and Cal and Jenny fans standing around the edges of the room encouraging me while at the same time looking like they may well attack some of those sneering. And, of course, if I need to bring out the big guns Cassie and Sue are sitting right there with me.

Some of you might wonder why I’m going in the first place if this is the way I feel. I was invited by someone I love dearly who loves these things. She is convinced I'll learn to love them too. I hope I’m pleasantly surprised at this conference. I hope I learn a lot about writing and promoting and other aspects of the business that I haven’t even thought about. Wish me luck.

29 comments:

  1. Hi PK, You can do it! We love you and will be there with you in spirit. Just a thought though. Aren't there conferences for spanking writers? Now that would be more fun!
    love Jan, xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. There are those convention just for spanking writers. I may try one someday and I know I'd like it better, but I have no one to go with. And since I'm not wild about going in the first place I just don't know.

      Delete
  2. Hi PK, I'm with Jan, you can do it, and you shouldn't feel ostracised, you have every right to be there. We are all behind you. I hope you are pleasantly surprised and get a lot out of the conference.

    Perhaps you should take your friend to a spanking authors conference.

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I sure hope I'm pleasantly surprised too! She'd go with me, but... while she is a wonderful person, I'm not sure I'd want to take her. It's a long story.

      Delete
  3. I get the uncomfortable feeling, but hurrah for you for going anyway. And truly..we all know...they are missing out on some great books...
    hugs abby

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Abby. I'm fighting the feeling.

      Delete
  4. Hi PK, :) That does sound like an awkward time. Good for you for being both a good friend, and attending, and for giving it a go again anyway! I hope that you learn some good things.

    Never mind those other authors! You have a right to write what you want, as do they. They are missing out on some mighty fine, fun and loving stories. They have no idea what it is all about. I agree that spanking conferences and perhaps romance ones(?) would be more fun. Especially if you go with your friend. Many hugs,

    ❤️Katie

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Now if I'd made the money EL James has made I'd get more respect. And truly they may not feel that way, it may be me feeling it more than they are.

      Delete
  5. You got this, PK! Do not worry what others may say, just know you're in on a secret they could only hope to be privileged to. Learn what you can from the conference and come back and share with us, okay?

    --Baker

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'll do my best. But I no longer like to go to 'classes' and sometimes they ask you to right and share on the spot - not comfortable for me. But I'll come back and report.

      Delete
  6. You know I do. Why not just say romance with a kink.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SG,
      I do like that reply very much.
      Meredith

      Delete
    2. I've done this often - it depends on my group. Some of my parents elderly friends, a church group, I'll say something like this. But at a writers convention I'll probably tell all. After all if I don't want to I'll never see these people again.

      Delete
    3. Another way to reword it is you write about strong women who are proud of their submission. Or love spanking. As you said you don't have to see these women ever again. Plus many of them probably envy you for writing what you really know and love. How many of them really are writing about what they have experienced?

      Delete
    4. That's true. It may not be appropriate on the first introduction, but in some of the classes I may have an opportunity to educate some of them.

      Delete
  7. Dear girl,
    Wear a happy face and take those stares like Cassie would. You have nothing to apologize for, PK, and everything to be proud of.

    We love you just the way you are!
    Hugs From Ella

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "Wear a happy face and take those stares like Cassie would." I think this is probably the best advice.

      Delete
  8. Hello PK, Flip it around in your head. You have incredible insight and talent to be able to write about something that is not considered "normie", is a bit on the taboo side, and doesn't mesh with societal practice. The eye rolls and any negative reaction to your craft is merely a sign of self consciousness for a group who either doesn't understand the life style or who have the feelings but not the circumstance to be able to embrace it. Writing is about expression and story telling. You do it beautifully. Enjoy the class for what it is and take away from it what will benefit you. Believe it or not, you may be teaching many of the other participants more than you'll ever know.
    Amy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you Amy! I'm going to do my best. The one I'm going with is, hmm... talkative. She dominates groups and I find myself withdrawing because it's a little embarrassing. It's complicated.

      Delete
  9. PK,
    The only thing that is important is that you have a loyal group of readers who love your writing. Hold your head up, square your shoulders and walk like you own the world. You give them just enough mystery that they become interested and then you will have them.
    Remember we are your biggest fans and we are real.
    Meredith

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, Meredith. I have a feeling I'll be pulling on the feeling of you guys being around me quite a bit.

      Delete
  10. You are every bit the writer as anyone else at that course is. I think it's fantastic that you go and honestly tell everyone what it is you write about, and I bet if you left a few of your cards around they'd all be gone by the end of the day. Enjoy it, don't worry about it, and take from it what works for you.
    Remember, you're a published author!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm really not embarrassed by what I write, I'm truly proud and I'm proud that so many of you like it. But its hard when I don't have the chance to explain what it really is and have to depend on what they are making up in their heads.

      Delete
  11. Hey PK...don't have time to read all the comments so forgive me if I repeat what someone else has said. I understand how you feel, I really do. But look at it this way...you are a strong woman spending time with someone you love and you might pick up some helpful pointers. And if any of those broads look down their disapproving noses at you...just picture them receiving a barn burner. And if they have the audacity to say anything, just tell them "try it, ya might like it." :) Have a wonderful time.

    Hugs and blessings...Cat

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You create a lovely picture - them getting a barn burner, LOL. I'll definitely try it.

      Delete
  12. PK hello,

    I know you are not at all embarrased about what you write and nor should you be. I'd say something like - I write romance books about strong women who love being spanked by their husbands or something along those lines. You are going with a friend so relax, try and enjoy it. I think good experience meeting other writers and you might pick up some useful tips.

    We love you and your books so we will be there with you. Let us know how you get on.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Ronnie, as long as my friends enjoy my books, what else really matters?

      Delete
  13. PK,
    Me, again! I was right next t you when you presented your card to that couple in the restaurant and I loved it. Hold your head high.
    Meredith

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL! You were. What can I say, never miss a chance to sell a book. Keep watching your mail.

      Delete