I haven’t posted in the past few days – and there has been stuff to post. I’m just processing.
Nick was going to be gone golfing most of the day last Friday.
As he kissed me good-by he said, “Why don’t you write me a letter today?”
“A letter, what kind of letter?” I asked.
“Just a letter. I want to know what’s going on in your head,” he explained.
I agreed and while he was gone I wrote him. You know it’s a dangerous thing to give a writer an opportunity like that. I felt I showed great restraint to keep it to two pages. I’m fine and told him there were no problems. I went on to talk a little more about TTWD and even confessed to not following one rule he had asked me to. As Cassie once said, “Confession may be good for the soul, but it’s not something he hears from me often.”
It did lead to a little spanking, but most interestingly it lead to an unusual conversation. We were laying in the bed after a spanking and Nick wanted me to channel him. What were the kind of think he needs to be saying, what were the reasons (in my head) for a spanking? I had to think for a little while, but then I just let it flow.
I ticked off some things I do that I know annoy him. Leaving the fan on in my writing room when I’m done for the day, not getting the mail even though I’m here all day, not getting my laundry put away in a timely manner. He threw in a couple of his own to make sure he understood. I told him all of these are great reasons for those short, grab the wooden spoon or something, type spankings. Little reminders you might say.
But I went on to the blowing off efforts to become healthier – my weight is causes BP problems, diabetes problems, joint problems… and the list goes on. If he doesn’t see progress he may need to think of being more serious about a spanking. And letting me know ahead of time that a ‘we need to get a handle on this’ type spanking, was a great way to get my attention. I went on his ‘his voice’ to give some reasons why I needed to make the effort to get healthy. When I was finished, he gave me a kiss and told me, “I couldn’t have said it better myself.”
TTWD will always ebb and flow with us, but Nick made it clear that he does not want to stop and that we will need to hear from me more. I’m bad at telling on myself – really bad, to the point of being extremely creative with some of my statements and answers. Cassie doesn’t live in my head for nothing you know.
Mollie spent the night here last night. As we were sitting down to dinner Nick asked, “Didn’t you say you’d turn on the A/C today (it was delightfully cool this morning and we’d opened the windows). I told him yes and he looked pointedly at the one window I’d forgotten to close. I got a small grin and a raised eye brow.
I guess we’ll see what happens.