I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Saturday, July 01, 2017

Musing about the spanking lifestyle

I went on vacation a few weeks ago and as with any vacation without Nick it seems eating was a main focus of the trip. I did it
well! As usual, I over did it well. Keeping my weight in check is the only thing Nick is somewhat serious about – not for looks, but for less stress on my joints, and keeping my diabetes and blood pressure in check.

Nick has helped me lose in the past and has set a certain weigh as a point of no return – as in I’m never to return there again. I kinds did and he drew a red line in the sand. Okay, actually it wasn’t in the sand, it was on my butt. The man used a switch that he cut and brought in for that purpose. Wow! He knows how I feel about anything whippy like that. I hate canes and switches. Some of you may be saying – umm… yeah, that kinda the point. Oh, shut up!

Now let me analyze this a bit. I want Nick to use TTWD for things that matter to him – actually real things. This is the only ‘real thing’ he ever spanks for. He didn’t use a fun implement that I can sink into and enjoy. He used one I hate. Although he didn’t use it long or vigorously, it was plenty enough and it even left marks (of which I was quite proud). I do appreciate his efforts and it gave me much to think about.

Sadly, I didn’t lose weight this week. But the conversation in my head was interesting. It’s just that I’ve reached the age where my extra pounds and I have been together a long time and they seem very reluctant to leave me.  I feel this is the main problem, not the fact that I over eat the wrong things and live the life of a sedentary writer. Kidding aside, it is much harder to lose than when I was forty. But in all seriousness, I know – I’m not really trying.

Nick, love of my life, evidently has not completely given up on TTWD. Have I? Consistency is not Nick’s strong suit. He could come at me with the hated cane later today or TTWD may not come up again for months. When I first came out it sure worked, I lost forty pounds. But I truly believe that came from the overall excitement of what I believed ‘could be’. Things like finding my submissive self and encouraging its growth. Living a true dd lifestyle – one that could have fit us, a mild one that kept us both strong and independent while truly focusing on us as a couple.

If Nick were to read here, and he rarely does, what would I want him to get from all this? I don’t know. There are many days I want to say – let’s just forget the hint of dd, if you want to spank for fun or sexy reasons, feel free. But not hard, that only works for real stuff. Yeah, sometime I want to say, 'forget it'. But the thing is my desire for it will always be there. It can no more be removed from me than my brain or my heart. If I’m alive, it’s there. It lived in me
as smoldering embers for nearly fifty years before I began to tend it. I gave it oxygen and fuel and it burst into a passionate, all consuming, raging fire as I found blogs and came out – man, that was some of the best times in my life.

It’s back to embers now. Those red-hot coals live under a protective blanket of gray charcoal. Occasionally Nick fans the flames, but only for the briefest flare up. I guess it’s a safe way to live.

I have more thoughts along these lines. Come back Monday.


  1. Hi PK, ooh ouch, a switch! I have never experienced one and don't think I want to. At least Nick spanks for things that are important to him. When we had a DD dynamic there were times I was confused by no spanking over something I thought would be important to Rick and spankings for other things I would have thought less important.


    1. Switches are horrible! I know what you mean. I think I am more confused than he is these days.

  2. Ouch the switch sounds shocking. Nick gets his point across though with that or the cane but its not to my liking. Bear is very similar these days he either goes full out or there is nothing. Just simmering along.
    It is harder to shed the weight as we grow older. Good luck hope you can for your health.
    Hugs Lindy xx

    1. I do NOT like switches! I don't have to lose it all, but I do have to get below his magic number.

  3. Hi PK, :) OUCH on the switch! Nick certainly loves you, and it sounds like he went all out in an effort to make his point about keeping you healthy. He meant business there!

    You know, as I read this I started to wonder if you were over thinking this a little. Nick went right to work concerning an important matter. It's so hard to be patient, and just go with the flow, and not over think things. Sometimes, it is helpful to do just that I think, instead of jumping into the future. Let things go where they will. Give positive reinforcement. When efforts are made and we just worry about whether it will happen again, and perhaps voice that, it can take the real situation now, and lessen the cool, loving thing (hot thing really) that happened. Maybe then they would think that they can't get it right and throw up their arms, instead of using them to spank again. It's only my humble opinion, but it's what I lovingly thought of.

    Rob is consistent, but sometimes not always. Things ebb and flow. In general, they even out. They too have their good and bad days. I just figure that I will be happy with what I have, and we go from there. It seems to pay off... It also seems to pay off when they see positive results. You've probably heard enough from me now. I love you dearly, and hope that it's okay that I said this. We all need you nice and healthy. Many hugs, and lots of love,

    <3 Katie

    1. "You know, as I read this I started to wonder if you were over thinking this a little." Ya, think!? Girl I have been over thinking this since I was about thirteen years old. If you can explain to me how to stop, I'll do it.

      We're fine, we're good - but I can never turn off my head. I guess that's why I write.

  4. I think you described the desire for DD perfectly. You hit the nail on the head!
    As to the diet stuff, I recently lost 18 pounds with a very low carb and at times Ketogenic diet. I have about 10 more to lose before I leave on vacation. It isn't hard for me
    Right now.... tomorrow.....?

    1. I've never been very good at sticking to a certain type of diet. The best I've ever done is to reduce portions and exercise - and I hate both.

      Good for you for losing those 18 pounds, that's really great.

  5. Sorry about the extra pounds but that's what vacations are for. Not all bad though because you received a 'almost' desired result. lol

  6. I'd prefer a spanking as a reward for losing weight but I know you respond better to a stick rather than a carrot. It seemed Nick knows that too - not just any old stick but a switch he'd cut and prepared himself! Maybe you could take a leaf out of Jan's book and keep a food diary for hubby to read, to keep him on board?
    Rosie xx

  7. I understand that missing link. Life was great but there was always that one little part deep inside that was never satisfied and always missing. I know it well or rather I did until I talked to my guy about it. At that point I just felt I had to. I know you know this but unless he knows exactly what you need he has no chance of providing it, and that conversation just may be ongoing. I wish you peace and satisfaction.

  8. I wish you good health and happiness. I am struggling to lose the weight I had lost last year and regained. Note, finding it again was as easy as can be. Sigh. Keep trying. Tomorrow is a new day... Switch does not sound pleasant and would not want it as a motivator. :-) Hugs