I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Sunday, May 15, 2011

Other changes coming

Not much to post today. There haven’t been any sexy spankings, or any other kind of spankings, to write about. I guess it’s that time of the year. I don’t have my mind where I'd like it to be and where it should be, on my marriage. Instead I’m in survival mode at work and collapse mode when I get home.

I guess there is one good thing about it; the total exhaustion is slowing down the continually rising dread as I realize my baby is graduating from high school. My lovely Mollie is nearly through with her high school days. In a few short months she will be headed to college – thankfully not far away, but she won’t be living at home. It’s a little like being on a see-saw, one day I’m fighting tears that her childhood is over and she is leaving us. The next day I’m wearing a little smile that those child rearing years are behind us and we will have our empty nest to ourselves.

I don’t fear the empty nest like so many people do. But still it’s going to seem strange. We have had little people living with us for over 23 years and all at once they're gone. I know many parents that suddenly look at each other across an unusually quiet dinner table and wonder at the stranger sitting across from them. Do they really know that person? Do they like that person? Have they only been keeping the family unit intact for the children who have just left them high and dry? Those are some scary question.

I could have been asking myself those questions if I had not come out to my husband about my spanko side. I don’t think we would have ever broken up or anything – we have always liked each other and we have always gotten along. But if I hadn’t come out, if I hadn’t trusted him enough to share my true feelings with him I think we would have fallen into a fairly dull ‘roommate’ type relationship. I think I would have despaired at the children leaving because where I was perfectly comfortable and confident being their mother I have not always been comfortable and confident being a wife.

I know it’s going to be different. I hope you won’t mind putting up with my various moods over this time of change in our lives. Sometimes I may be sobbing on your shoulder about missing Mollie. I may be mad or sad at times when I’ll feel ignored by Nick. I might be happily reporting a warm bottom along with a warm heart or maybe I’ll be sharing some thoughts about some wildly sexy afternoon delight. I don’t know what the future holds but I’m excited about it and I guess that’s a pretty good way to feel about the future.

9 comments:

  1. slowsong5:21 AM

    Hello. I have lurked for a while on your blog, but I must say how much I enjoy the stories and particularly your lovely thoughts about your own experiences.

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  2. PK, be who you are, that is really all your friends want.
    Love and warm hugs,
    Paul.

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  3. It is always a pleasure to hear about your life experiences and I am here for you for all the ups and downs. So sob away cuz you miss your babies, tell a hot story about you and your wonderful husband, or share your worries and concerns. I am here listening. I have not felt up to commenting much these days. I have been wanting to respond to your post about how coming out with TTWD has changed your life but I haven't built up the courage yet. I feel I do have a happy "roomate" relationship with my husband at the moment as well as being parents and not much more to speak of in terms of romance and spanking, though still never will regret sharing my fantasy and know this is a journey and have hope for the future. Anyways, I am still here, not as often as I would like, but still lurking whenever I get the chance between teaching and taking care of my two babies (who still have a few years left before leaving us an empty nest which is ok by me cuz if I can cry the day my youngest gets on the bus to kindergarten I am going to be a blubbery mess on graduation day) :-)Thinking of you and sending hugs! Good luck with end of the year school stuff...such a crazy time of year. :-) Terps

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  4. We are facing the empty nest and I think the roommate routine is what had me looking at our marriage in a different way. His parents divorced after 30 years and I wanted to divorce proof our marriage so I looked for ways to break that barrier and get us both on the same page. So he is now a spanko LOL

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  5. The empty nest isn't so bad.. I've gotten used to it and enjoy the moments of solitude quite a lot.
    Good luck though; it can be strange at times.

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  6. We love hearing whatever you have to say PK.

    It does seem strange at first. I used to pop into son's room to say something to him forgetting he wasn't there:) It's a new chapter in her life PK, my love and best wishes go with her, she'll have a ball.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

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  7. Slowsong,
    Thank you, I love to know that other enjoy my posts. Please come by again.

    Paul,
    I love having you as a friend.

    Terps,
    We have talked enough for me to know that you are a great mom as well as being good at all the other things you do. I picture you as a wife who provides a peaceful home for her husband. But maybe, just maybe, you are going to have to make a few waves to be heard and taken seriously about wanting your marriage to be more than a roommate relationship. It sounds like you have a great husband. One worth fighting for - even if that means fighting with him sometimes. Think about it.

    Annie,
    I'm sure seeing his parents divorce after so long did make you aware of what could happen. Sooooo glad you could avoid that. Spanking can do so much for a couple.

    Nancy,
    Thanks for saying that. I do know it's going to be okay but it still feels good to hear from other that have gone through it.

    Ronnie,
    You're right. It's a new chapter for Mollie and for Nick and me. I'm confident but still apprehensive.

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  8. For me, an empty nest meant finally - FINALLY - getting to be the queen of my castle. Kids, somehow, robbed me of that position... or so it seemed.

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  9. Eva,
    Queen huh... Queen would be nice.

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