I think Mick over at Husbandly Touch got a lot of people thinking with his latest post. I have always wondered about where all my spanko desires came from. I’ve gone back as far as I can to see if there was anything in my life that ‘triggered’ these desires.
My parents were kind, gentle people. They were typical parents of the time. I was spanked occasionally but rarely. I HATED it. I always hated when my parents were upset with me. But by the age of four I remember my favorite nursery rhyme was The Old Lady in the Shoe because “she spanked them all soundly and put them to bed”. I remember getting all tingly when that was read to me. I loved the ‘I Love Lucy’ where Lucy got spanked. Anything like that would captured my mind.
In third grade I was in love with a little boy that was as rough as they come. The teacher, a good friend of my parents, told them she could not understand the attraction. Although I was always attracted to the ‘bad boy’, every boy I actually dated as I got older was gentle and sweet. I guess God watches over fools because it could have gone the other way. I believe that many women that had my same thoughts and desires did find men who mistreated or bullied them because they really don’t know exactly what they were looking for.
For me it turned inward – to a rich and full fantasy life. All my fantasies, from pre-teen on, were about spanking, control and domination. I knew the truth about myself and I accepted it. I dealt with it by enjoying my fantasies and keeping it a total and complete secret. I knew I was the only person who felt this way. I kept my secret from EVERYONE for 49 years. The stories in my head continued and I enjoyed them until eventually I did what many of us did, I typed spanking into my computer and suddenly I wasn’t alone. It was from this blogging community that I got the courage to finally come out to Nick. It’s been quite an adventure.
Where did it all come from? I truly don’t know I have to believe I was born this way. My childhood was happy and sheltered. I was never abused in any way at home or by a boyfriend and the interest / fascination with spanking has been with me since before pre-school. It’s in my DNA. I would love to see a study done on spankos. I think we’re one of the last taboos. No one wants to acknowledge us or to believe that we’re not ‘sick’. No one, besides us, wants to admit how much spanking can benefit a relationship. Now I’m not suggesting it for everyone. But for those of us who love it – there’s nothing better.