Wow! And OWWWWW! I had a very interesting Saturday. Mollie is babysitting away from home this weekend so we had an empty house. I haven’t been feeling my sexiest lately but I was looking forward to some time alone. Nick sent a sweet and sexy email and we soon met up in the bedroom.
We had a little business to discuss before we got on to any fun stuff – I didn’t make my goal this week (I hadn’t thought I would since I knew I’d been eating junk). He uses the cane (thanks again, Ronnie – I think!) when I don’t make it. Nick had said when I don’t make goal I get 3 with the cane – that’s what I was supposed to get Saturday morning. Now Nick is a smart man. He has a master’s degree. He’s an excellent mathematician – but dog-gone-it, I can count!! Yes I got three strokes but when the darn canes came there were two of them and he had both in his hand for the three strokes – now that SIX! Come on folks am I right on this?? I say when the two week break is over and if I miss another goal I already have 3 in the bank!! Back me up on this now.
I had an excellent comment from CeeCi the other day regarding the whole diet thing and my overall frustration. I posted that I was getting more and more down on myself and discouraged. She suggested I just take a couple of weeks off from the whole mess. That sounded wonderful to me so I had asked Nick what he thought. He said he could see where a break might help – provided I wasn’t planning on doing anything stupid. No gorging on candy and soft drinks and I couldn’t turn my time away from the gym into one long blogfest. I still needed to be up and active some. It all sounds good to me.
But about that time the spanking kicked up a notch and I realized this wasn’t a just-for-fun spanking. Nick was spanking like he wanted my complete attention and he had it! Now can you guess (out of the extremely lengthy list of possibilities) what he care enough about to spank so hard? Let’s go over some of the obvious things – I don’t cook well or often, I don’t clean well or often, I don’t always put away my laundry after he has gone to the trouble of doing it, I’ve been eating way too much junk and haven’t been working at the gym like I should… the list could go on for quite some time but it was none of those things.
The thing Nick was concerned enough about to spank so hard was that I hadn’t been letting him know what was going on with me. That I hadn’t told him or emailed him or in some way let him know some things were bothering me and causing me to be down in general. Out of all my potential short comings it kinda warmed my heart – and downright scorched my bottom – to know that simply not talking to him about things that were bothering me was his biggest concern. Husbands don’t come any better than that.
You know, I don’t need the reassurance of Nick telling me I’m beautiful all the time – I know how I look and I’m content (if not thrilled) with it. I don’t need him to tell me every 15 minutes that he loves me and cares for me. I’m as sure of that as I am the sun will rise tomorrow. Neither of us has spent one second of our married life worrying about infidelity. But believing deep down that he really want to know what’s going on in my head, my thoughts, my feelings, my emotions – that’s just something that’s very hard for me to grasp. I’m afraid that’s going to take some more reassurance.
It was very hard for me to believe several years ago when he insisted I write him once a week to ‘check in’ so to speak. He knows I’m much better at communicating in writing that verbally – at least about feelings and emotions. Sometimes I didn’t want to do it. But he insisted. Then gradually over time he didn’t insist anymore, it was so easy for my doubts to creep back in and say “You’re bothering him with all this mess. Shut-up and leave the man alone!” So I stopped writing.
Well let’s just say that today he spanked to get his point across. I don’t think he has ever spanked that hard before – at least not for that long. He was using the thick leather paddle from our LA Trip for most of the spanking. I’ll have to say he was in a pretty good mood as he wailed away. He stopped for a moment and I could hear the grin in his voice as he asked “Do you remember once posting that I spanked like a girl?” Geeze! I posted that in like the second or third post I ever put up before I even knew he was reading!! “So, do you still think so?” He continued.
Between the owwwing and the ouching and the squirming and the kicking I managed to gasp out that NO! I didn’t think that anymore! Saturday he was swatting more like a major league hitter! Although the spanking was intense the atmosphere was light and comfortable. And it led to some wonderful reconnection! My, it was nice to have the house to ourselves!! Sitting up on the bed when we were both satisfied I complained that my bottom HURT! And I was delighted to see Nick merely shrug – as if to say ‘That’s your problem, talk to me from now on.’
The rest of the day I was not only sitting sensitive but standing and walking that way too! Not a problem, true spankos know that those tinder spots are sweet reminders of how much we are loved. Although I did give him the evil eye Saturday when we were being seated at the restaurant he had chosen – they had wooden benches. He only grinned and claimed he hadn’t given that a thought. LOL! It was a pretty good day.