How many of you have seen this? Does it make you as mad as it makes me? I get angry every time I see it and I want to leave a comment that would be pages long. I guess I'll do my venting here instead.
First, it clearly insinuates that there is no such thing as abuse as long as you’re wealthy – anything you do to your significant other is fine as long as you have money.
It also implies that unless you're wealthy you're too stupid to have a discussion with the one you love about what you want. About how it might work and the ideas of trust and safety.
It clearly shows how little understanding people outside of the TTWD community have for a lifestyle we completely enjoy.
Simply by putting this stupid meme up it says that those of us who enjoy this lifestyle are too stupid to know what we want and that ‘they’ know what’s best for us.
Obviously, it you lived in the trailer shown above we’d all guess that your income was very low at the moment. But does that mean the couple living there doesn’t love one another? Maybe they can’t spend the evening at the country club dancing and drinking champagne. Maybe they can’t afford to go out for a nice dinner and a movie. Maybe they don’t even have a little extra for a trip to McDonald’s.
But if they have shared the secret desire that we all understand then they may be basking in a wonderfully exciting evening. Maybe they're roll playing. Maybe she’s in the corner anticipating an intense spanking she’s been dreaming about all day. Maybe there’s some bondage that excites them both. Maybe after a day of taking orders from others he’s renewed by being dominant at home. Maybe after a day of being either ignored or put down she come home to a man who makes her feel loved and cherished and protected by his very dominance. And in our world the dominant and submissive rolls may be reversed. Who cares!
I’m just saying that those of us who love and understand TTWD might find fun and contentment in that little trailer. If we're with the one we love and the one who understands and indulges our ‘strange’ desires we could well be enjoying our evening more than all the rich folks in their mansions and penthouses.
Next week I hope to start my short series on the questions outsiders have about our chosen lifestyle. I hope you’ll come back.
I'm having a problem - I can't sign in to comment or reply on either of my blogs. I'm working on it now. Email if you have a suggestion. Hope I'll be able to answer comments later.
I'm having a problem - I can't sign in to comment or reply on either of my blogs. I'm working on it now. Email if you have a suggestion. Hope I'll be able to answer comments later.
Hi PK,
ReplyDeleteI wasn't aware of this meme. I do agree it does show little understanding. Hmm...pondering this some more.
Hugs
Roz
Roz,
DeleteYou’re right – no understanding of ‘us’ at all.
Hey PK,
ReplyDeleteFrustrating isn't it when people make assumptions? I am impressed with the amount of ignorance in the world particularly about this subject.
All that can be done is to educate the twits and to not laugh, or comment, or share the idiot meme's people put out there. Or at least that is what I do.
Hugs
Boo
Boo
DeleteEveryone seem to know what ‘others’ should be doing or how they should act. I usually try to ignore it too.
I have not read or seen 50 shades, so here’s my take purely based on commentary from other kinky people who’ve discussed it with me.
ReplyDelete50 shades is not an example of a healthy BDSM dynamic. This meme isn’t saying that abuse only happens to poor people or that poor people can’t have a healthy BDSM relationship. It’s saying that 50 Shades of Grey is a fantasy of abuse (rather than a consensual BDSM dynamic) and that the only thing that makes it “romantic” rather than a dark thriller is the trappings of wealth.
As I said, I haven’t watched it, so I don’t know whether that’s fair or not. But I’ve heard a LOT of frustration in the kink community about having people assume that it’s an accurate representation of how their real life relationships and activities work, or about people (particularly Tops/Doms) who come into the community expecting to be able to act the way they’ve seen in movies. The up side of the 50 shades stuff is that it’s let a lot of people acknowledge a part of themselves they were hiding... but again, I don’t think this meme is meant as a commentary on BDSM as a whole, it’s criticizing the specific portrayal of BDSM presented in 50 shades.
Check my comment to you farther below.
DeleteEilean Beithe (Gaelic for Birch Island) was a website created by Alex who rented a Scottish castle to play school with women friends...He wasn't a billionaire ! Part 1 and 2 already posted, part 3 to be posted this Saturday.
ReplyDeleteThat sounds interesting!
DeleteI am going to have to agree with Xen. I read most of the first book, but left it because I felt it was not about love at all. In fact, to me it showed a rich man getting his jollies because of his wealth and thought that it was all about him. There was no love in the first book. It sickened me. In a loving relationship where both parties want the same thing, yes, rich or poor or middle class, it is thrilling and adventursome. But I also agree that the only thing about the books and movies was the love of money. At least in the beginning. So yes the meme is wrong, but the movie is wrong also. Poor people can enjoy the lifestyle. But if you look, if a young woman was brought to a trailer in the woods and bound and whipped from someone she hardly knew, it would be considered suspicious at least. but a wealthy well known man with house staff, it is considered sexy. Don't think so.
ReplyDeleteXen and Anonymous –
DeleteI read all three books and saw the movies too. I got a different take from what you two portraying here. Granted you’re right that the first book showed little love (it did come later) but it was 100% consensual. All their encounters were. Yes, the rich man was in it for his jollies, while the young woman was simply exploring new ideas. But she was never, ever forced into anything. He persuaded her to try new things and when she said no he stopped. If it’s consensual and stops the minute she uses a safe word then it really doesn’t matter if it’s in the trailer or the penthouse.
Hey, your opinion is as valid as anyone else’s. And anyway, fantasy is fantasy. The Secretary is hot AF, but it’s not a great example of a healthy dynamic either.
DeleteMy point was more that the strongest criticism I’ve seen of 50 Shades of Grey has been from within the BDSM community, and that’s also where I’ve seen this meme shared.
You're so right in that neither of these movies shows anything to do with reality. I don't think anyone today has the courage to portray the BDSM or the domestic discipline lifestyles are they really are.
DeletePK,
ReplyDeleteI hope you don't mind a comment from a disciplined husband. When you wrote, "You’re right – no understanding of ‘us’ at all." it got me to thinking how true it is. Ordinary people into discipline are often portrayed in a trashy or even sick way, while the wealthy are shown to be romantic extremists living on the edge. My wife and I are professionals and we don't think were trashy in the least. My wife often says if she knew I'd be so well behaved so much of the time she's have begun tanning my hide from day one. As for my opinion, I truly believe that while there is a fetish component obviously, I'm a better acting husband. I better be. My wife owns a cane. Just in closing, I seriously doubt we will see movies or TV shows ever portray such lifestyles in a subdued or more realist way in this decade, though it may happen in the distant future.
JL
Everyone who knows the joys of TTWD is always welcome. You've explained it well here. But you are right that we'll never see ourselves portrayed correctly.
DeletePK,
ReplyDeleteI did not see the movies, but Storm and I both read all 3 Fifty Shades books when they all came out. We enjoyed learning about Christian's experience and Ana's inexperience...... I know many people have said how awful they thought the writing was or that it was unrealistic and even abusive. It had more of a Pretty Woman type feel to me where there were some unhealthy issues, but in the end, it was all going to be just fine and a little kinky. We don't have the desire to live any kind of BDSM lifestyle, so perhaps that is one reason why the book did not offend us. I'm not a fan of that meme up there though! Hugs, Windy
I enjoyed the books - I wasn't looking for great literature, just a fun read and that's what I got. We've never been into BDSM either but I found it interesting. I know several friends who found their kinky side due to these books and we were able to see that there is a large segment of our culture who was rabidly interested.
Delete