I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Tuesday, January 30, 2018

I should be able to talk Nick into things by now

I had a post all ready to go up Monday morning, but on re-reading it, it sounded like I was complaining. It wasn’t meant that way so I’m going to let it sit in my draft folder for a while and ponder.

Meanwhile, I’ll tell you I did get spanked Sunday afternoon. Nick sent me an email telling me since I wasn’t bearing down on the exercise, I could bare down for him across the bed. I did just that, but of course it was mostly just an excuse for a sexy romp and who doesn’t like that?

I need to do something to get on Nick very good side because I’m ready to do some more remodeling. Remodeling brings on hard times for us. I’ve found over the years that changes are made on Nick’s time table and his alone. Regardless of what I what, we have to wait until he’s ready. And then when I talk to him about what I want, I always feel that I am talking to someone standing on a ledge about to jump. If I go overboard on what I what to do, he’ll jump – back that is, and we’ll end up doing nothing.

We redid our very out dated bathroom years ago and I still love it. Here’s what we did to the kitchen about six years ago. It's still tiny, but  I was impressed. 




But it’s time to go at it again. Our bedroom and attached half bath have to be redone soon. The bedroom need new carpet and paint, should be easy enough but I don’t live in one of those home in the magazines. While I don’t think I have to worry about being on an episode of Hoarders, our bed room is a catch all room and cleaning it out completely is a daunting task.

We’ve both agreed to rip the bath to the studs and start over. The wallpaper was here when Nick bought the house about thirty-seven years ago. It’s ugly. It’s so aggressively ugly that there is not a rip, not a lose seam, not a sagging corner anywhere. This paper is ugly enough to outlast us all.  I finally painted over it and that helped a little, but major changes must be made.

Okay, he and I are both in agreement. But the timing is the problem. I’m home, I’ve just finished a book (Cal and Jenny’s story is off for the first edit, cross your fingers). I could really dive into getting the bedroom cleaned out. But I don’t want to do it if we’re not ready to go for it. I feel like the clutter in our house is in a semi-liquid state. 


I can get it clean for a short time but eventually, like even a thick liquid, it will flow back to fill up the space. And I don’t want to have to do it twice.

I have a long list of things that we need to do – we need a new roof, new gutters and new landscaping. I want to redo the living room, change the old fireplace,  get rid of the awful mirrors over the fireplace, I want built in bookcases on either side of the fire place and maybe some in my writing room, I want to change the window treatments, I want crown molding throughout and fresh paint, and to get rid of the awful recliners that – yes, I helped choose. Okay, as I read this I can see why Nick ignores me. But we are at the age we need to get all this done so it won’t be a hassle in our old age. I want things done, and done well now so we can enjoy it and that when these things really need changing again in twenty-five to thirty years it will be Mollie’s problem.

And suggestions for how to get Nick on board at least for some of these projects?

28 comments:

  1. Hi Pk,

    That is fantastic news on the new Cal and Jenny book :)

    Good luck with the renovations! I have no pearls of wisdom as to getting Nick on board, other than talk to him about one project at a time. Don't overwhelm him by mentioning everything at once. Slowly but surely :) The kitchen looks awesome :)

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. You're right, I've learned that I can get him to do anything I want if I can wait. But some things I've waited for for over twenty years. I don't have that time now.

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  2. Hi Pk, It must be retirement! We did all the jobs as we started into that new phase of our lives. We figured we wanted to get it all done so we could just enjoy the house without worrying as we got too decrepit to do anything. That wallpaper sounds like it has had it's day so at some point you have to bite the bullet I suppose. Does Nick do the work or do you get tradespeople in? If so could you ask him if you can get a few quotes on what needs doing and see if it inspires him? I think for us getting it all sorted gave us a new lease of life, hubby likes a project on the go and he is now helping my cousin and his wife with some of theirs! I am so pleased to hear Cal and Jenny's book is nearly there, I love their story. If all else fails, I have got addicted to a show called the Property brothers! call them in I say.....
    love Jan, xx

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    1. Btw, I don't care if you put up a moaning post, I was worrying where you were! Stick it up anyway...

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    2. Now if I could get the Property Brother I'd already be on it. They are eye candy for sure. Nick could do it all, but we'll hire someone. But even that is for him to do. He handles all that stuff for us.

      I'm glad you haven't yet gotten tired of my moaning and complaining.

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  3. Hurrah for a new book! And we are in the process of some remodeling for most of the same reasons. Just did the kitchen and family room (by the way love your kitchen)....amazing what a clean coat of paint does to a room....and the clutter in the bedroom, well I so get that....good luck! hugs abby

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    1. It may have something to do with being retired and having time to see what needs doing.

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  4. Hi PK, that's wonderful about your book going off to be edited. Oh My Goodness your Nick is so like my Bear. I could ask for years to have something fixed or moved in our old house, never got done. Yet if Bear thought of an idea it was straight away. So unfortunately I can't recommend anything to help your situation.
    Good luck!
    Hugs Lindy xx

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    1. Ain't it the truth. Nick can fix anything, he does plumbing, wiring, anything and he does keep things fixed. But new stuff - that's harder to get him started on.

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  5. My house needs a full makeover too! Whatever you do, don’t reel off that long list of projects in one go, you’ll scare the heck out of Nick! Maybe pick the project you want done most before lining up the others. In the meantime, decluttering makes a difference, though I’m not very good at that!
    Good news on the next Cal and Jenny book.
    Rosie xx

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    1. I think everyone will like this book. I think we need the bedroom/bath done first. I'd like to work on the living room firsts. So I guess we'll see.

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  6. PK,
    Jack has left to help family and this is Day #1 of being "in charge" with the workers. I like the word "trades people" that Jan used. Things are a mess and I am right here in the middle wishing I was going with Jack. However, as I remind myself and others remind me, I will love the finished room. It will be beautiful. Getting there is hard. We made a timeline and stuck to it. I am such a neat freak that I actually find this mess really interesting. I cannot straighten things up as the project is in full swing. So I give in to relaxing and watch what unfolds. That is a new feeling for me.

    So in the meantime, begin decluttering one thing at a time. Do not think of the whole house. Just concentrate on the section (drawer, closet, cupboard) of your choice and begin. It sure works for me. Listen to a book, music or a movie and only use your ears as you move through each task. It works. It is empowering to rid of the clutter. Then when the actual renovation begins, you feel a little like you are in control. It sure works here, until Jack leaves for almost a week leaving me to face all this alone.

    Meredith

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    1. I like the term 'trades people' too. No one has ever call ME a neat freak so the chaos wouldn't bother me.

      LJ gave me a 6 month membership to audible and I love to listen to a book as I clean or cook. I think you have a good suggestion. I have to start somewhere.

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  7. Happy about the new book.

    We could do with a new bathroom and kitchen makeover. I've mentioned to P about getting people in to do it, no he said, I can do it (and he can) but I'm still waiting. Rosie is right, decluttering does make a difference. Do a little at a time.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

    ReplyDelete
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    1. That's a problem - Nick too can do it. But that doesn't mean he will! We'll see what happens.

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  8. That kitchen- i want it! Gratz on the new book. No words of wisdom for how to get nick on board unfortunately.

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    1. My tiny kitchen is just perfect for the amount of time I spend cooking. I'm glad you like it. For not knowing what we're doing, I thought the choices we made came out well.

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  9. I have the same husband! Is Nick missing a few days a month? Oh no. It can't be. Mine is with me 24/7. But I have found that I make a suggestion. "I think we're really going to need some work done in this room." Then a little later (must be done carefully) I show him an idea I saw in a magazine or something. Ask his opinion and let it rest while I continue to research what I want. Eventually he thinks it's his idea and I tell him I love it! He's always happy to please me and I get what I want but it's always best if it's his decision! You know how to do it with Nick.
    You're going to have to peel the old paper off. That is a lot of work after painting. You should research that and maybe start with that yourself a little at a time after he decides it's a go.
    Rosie Dee

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    1. You're right, I have to get him believing it's his idea. But I won't have to peel wallpaper - we have decided to take it down to the studs and start over with new drywall.

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  10. Congrats on the spanking, PK! I feel like you should put a big gold star on the calendar whenever it happens. It works for kids and math papers. Maybe it would work for husbands and spankings.

    There are several paths to renovation to try. First try asking, "Honey, if you were to remodel the bathroom, what would you do?" No matter what he says, agree with him. Then wait a few days and tell him you saw his idea on Property Brothers. "I'm not kidding, Hon. It was exactly your plan for the back bathroom." Then go to once a week with the hints. Don't overdo it. Never ask a yes or no question, though.

    My other idea was to quit cleaning the bathroom and bedroom altogether, but I forgot that Nick does all the cleaning. That won't work.

    I love you just the way you are,
    Says Ella

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    1. LOL! I do a little cleaning, and I pay the cleaning lady! For the bath there's not much to decide on. It's just getting someone in to do it.

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  11. I like the idea of prioritizing your wants. Pick the top two and talk about the possibilities, and hopefully a timeline. Ask Nick what his top two would be. In the meantime start decluttering one spot at a time. It always makes me feel better when I’ve accomplished even one small project. Spring is coming and it’s a great time for cleaning house. Good luck!

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    1. I think I'm going to start in the bathroom. Spring cleaning - any cleaning is usually the last thing on my list of things to do.

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  12. Just got here. Congrats on the book. As for the rest, as others suggested, take it slow and if he's already agreed on the bathroom and bedroom, start getting it ready. Look at pictures, get lists of contractors, etc., etc, getting his input after you've put in the work and then ask his input.

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    1. Like I said over at your place, I'm ready for one of your books too. I do have to get started on the bathroom. He says we may have to wait until warm weather, but I'm not sure why.

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  13. Anonymous12:20 PM

    PK,
    Motivation is sometimes the hardest part of any remodeling projects, next to the mess, but my wife and I are usually on the same page. Just recently we completed painting but plan on some new flooring. It sounds like you are at least moving in the right direction.

    My wife surprised me with some discipline with weekend as well. This time she said the time had come again to show me "who's boss" (which I enjoyed) and gave me a thorough caning :-). It led to some together time we both enjoyed but she did lecture me about getting home projects done as I rubbed my hot posterior. Now I have a birthday coming up in a few days, so I promised her I'd be on my best behavior, but I know it won't last. JL

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    1. Sounds like you all are doing well! Everything sound good to me except the cane! I am not and never will be a cane fan - paddle, hairbrush, belt I'm fine with. But not the cane!

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    2. Anonymous12:54 PM

      PK
      My wife consistently goes easy with the cane. It's not the regular go to tool when it comes to discipline and we had fun. I can see why you might not be a fan. I find the paddle can hurt more. JL

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