Sunday, January 04, 2015

Cough, cough here - hack, hack there

We are not having a good luck health wise this week. Mollie and I have just had colds and I’m nearly over mine, thank goodness. But Nick is feeling rough. He nearly passed out in the shower yesterday morning and once he made it back to the bed he woke me and asked if I’d get him something to drink and some medicine. Considering this is only the third time in over thirty years that he asked me to get him anything, I was a little worried.

Nick’s funny when he’s sick. Where I hear so many men turn into babies Nick goes almost in the other direction. I swear if he broke his leg he’d hop to the Advil before he’d ask Mollie or me to get it for him. And please don’t think I don’t ASK – I’d get him anything he needed, but he won’t let me.

He seemed to be feeling better by afternoon, but we also worried about his folks. His dad has bronchitis and is having a terrible time keeping his sugar level where they need to be. Where he was out helping load wood into the truck a few weeks ago he can now barely make it to the bathroom with a walker. Nick’s mom is having problems too. Her memory problems are becoming more serious and life-changing decisions will soon need to be made for them.

There are five children and they are all wonderful people who will do anything for their parents, but that still doesn’t make things easy. When I went through this with my parents it was tough. I was here with them and my one sister was several hours away. I think it was easier being able to make all the decisions myself. My sister helped every way possible, but she left the final decisions to me. I think it was easier that way, even if everyone on a committee wants what’s best, it can still be hard for a ‘committee’ to move forward with a decision, rather than spend all their time discussing options that none of them want.

We’ve been so lucky with his folks – they are ninety and ninety-three, they still live alone, but it can’t go on forever. But we’re all worried now.

Written by PK at 9:30 AM



At 2:45 AM, Blogger Roz said...

I'm sorry you have all been under the weather PK and hope you are all feeling better soon. Rick is similar when sick, if he seeks TLC (though, I give it to him anyway) I worry.

Wow, it is wonderful that Nick's parents still live on their own. It is hard and the decisions aren't easy. My mother's alzheimers has progressed rather rapidly recently and she has had other minor health issues. At the moment dad is doing an amazing job of taking care of the home and mum, but I worry.


At 2:48 AM, Blogger Cat said...

I've had some form of nasty crud this past week and am not over it yet! Sending lots of healing energy for Nick to heal quickly. I am so sorry you and Nick along with his siblings will have to make those tough decisions soon...sending lots of positive thoughts your way.

Hugs and Blessings...

At 5:32 AM, Blogger ronnie said...


I hope Nick is back to full recovery soon. There is a lot of colds, flu and viruses going around this side of the pond. Touch wood, Ok here.

As you know we've been through it. It's hard.

Thinking of you all.


At 8:09 AM, Blogger DelFonte said...

This cold most be global, I'm sure the same cold has effected many of my family.
We've yet to face tough decisions about my parents, I'm sure it will come. wishing your family well.

At 9:03 AM, Blogger abby said...

I have joined the coughing, yucky group. Since my daughter has had it for 3 days , I knew it was coming...hope Nick recovers soon. Nick's parents have done very well.....I know too well what difficult decisions will have to be made. I agree that decision by committee is harder...I have told my bothers many times, my sister is the one who is there all the her and support her in her decisions....
hugs and prayers...

At 10:10 AM, Blogger Jon MontanaVega said...

You nailed it. It was nice to have my brothers help with the care of my step-father and then my mother, but it was easier because they let me make the day to day decisions. However, without my wonderful wife's sharing the load AND supporting me when I needed it, I don't think I was strong enough to make it through those three years.

At 10:25 AM, Blogger an English Rose said...

Hi PK, oh dear i am sorry that you are all under the weather. As far as the oldies go, both my husbands parents are in a nursing home(together) and they both love it! He is a bit less aware of things than her but they are cared for well and want for nothing. It is not always a bad thing, the situation was forced on us all when mum had a second really bad fall and broke the second hip but it is three years on now and they are both coming up for 90. It is hard to make those decisions but sometimes you just have to. Good luck
love Jan,xx

At 10:28 AM, Blogger Leigh Smith said...

Hope Nick is better soon. I know the worries when someone you love is sick, I go through that with Ray because, like Nick, he is stoic and I'm not always sure he is honest about how he really feels because he doesn't want me to worry. As he gets older that is an increasing worry.

I don't envy you the decisions about your in-laws. We went through hoops with our dad, there are four of us and each had an opinion. Not one of us lived close so it seemed one of us was always traveling but our dad's well being was foremost and we managed to make it work. Wishing you love, luck and fortitude in the days ahead.

At 11:01 AM, Blogger Minelle Labraun said...

I understand how you feel about Nick. It is sometimes easier when we are under the weather! Worry, worry.
As you know we are going through the same thing with my mom. Their are five of us as well. Making plans etc is always through a committee of sorts. The good part is there are lots of helpers to support the daily challenges. I bet that no matter what difficulties and how many people can help, it is always going to be hard for us when our parents reach that time in our lives.
I'm thinking about you and Nick.

At 11:09 AM, Blogger Meredith Malloy said...

May you all be well soon. The older I get, the less I like winter.

At 3:38 PM, Blogger Ami Starsong said...

I'm so sorry and do hope Nick will get better soon. This cold thing does seem to be global - in the northern hemisphere at least.

What wonderful ages Nick's parents have achieved. I think a little accident here and there is perfectly acceptable, but of course if they are anything like my MIL they are very proud and self sufficient.

I do, however, wish I had had siblings with reference to looking after parents. I found it very tough going.

I sincerely hope you will all be better and fighting fit again soon.


At 9:21 PM, Blogger PK said...

I think we're feeling better here. The care of aging parents is hard but most people have to do it sometime. I miss my parents, but I'm not sad to have that tough time behind me.

At 9:22 PM, Blogger PK said...

Thank you Cat we appreciate the good thoughts. We'll heal eventually.

At 9:24 PM, Blogger PK said...

It's something most of us go through with our folks. I really hope you all stay well.

At 9:24 PM, Blogger PK said...

I hope that time is long in the future for you. Stay well.

At 9:28 PM, Blogger PK said...

Abby, I hope you get well soon. You advise your brothers well. I hope they listen.

At 9:30 PM, Blogger PK said...

I agree, I couldn't have done it with out Nick at my side. Being able to come home and even laugh with someone - even about things that weren't funny really helped.

At 9:31 PM, Blogger PK said...

They have lived on their own so long - I don't see them adjusting to a nursing home well, but who knows. When my aunt when to one there were seven ladies on the hall who had all graduated together. For a while they had a ball!

At 9:34 PM, Blogger PK said...

It's crazy, Nick could be deathly ill before he'd tell me. I'm willing to help any way I can, but thankfully I don't have to make any decisions.

At 9:36 PM, Blogger PK said...

I must be good to have all those helping hands. I felt like I had a lot on my hands, but my sister came nearly every weekend for two years to help as she could.

At 9:36 PM, Blogger PK said...

You and me both! Bring on spring!

At 9:40 PM, Blogger PK said...

Ami, Nick's parents really have done well for so very long. They had a garden this past year. They are amazing.

At 1:49 AM, Blogger grace said...

Bossman and the boy man have been coughing for a month! If you feel better in a couple of days consider yourself lucky!

Healing thoughts for Nick and his parents!

At 9:43 AM, Blogger Katie said...

Oh gosh, PK! It sure doesn't sound like fun over at your place with that illness! I am so glad that you all are on the mend. Feel better!! I am sending you all some virtual hot chicken soup- or a nice hot toddy with lemon and honey if you would prefer!

"Even if everyone on a committee wants what’s best, it can still be hard for a ‘committee’ to move forward with a decision, rather than spend all their time discussing options that none of them want." You said that exactly right, PK! That is the quandry. Luckily that narrows down to two of us with my folks. Oh choices... it is a tough one. When I wake up in the night it is hard to shut the thinking down in that department... It is all a very tricky thing. And absolutely no fun at all. This week should perhaps help shed some light on it all in my neck of the woods. I hope. :( Anyway, we will get through together, right? Sending you big hugs and lots of love,

<3 Katie

At 5:09 PM, Blogger Terpsichore said...

I hope everyone is feeling better soon. And wish you the best with Nick's parents and the difficult decisions ahead. Seem such a sweet couple. thinking of you and sending hugs


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