I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Tuesday, October 12, 2010

I wish...

In the old days when I had nothing to blog about I would sometimes just start writing and see if anything came up. I don't have high hopes. Not much going on. Cold, no privacy, can't get my mind in the right place, work woes, etc, etc, etc...

Blogging is one of my favorite past times and when I don't feel like doing it that makes me feel more down. So here's my wish list ...

  1. Retire
  2. Regain my enthusiasm - for spanking, for sex, for blogging, for writing, even for emailing my friends. Everything seems on hold.
  3. See LJ more.
  4. Redo my kitchen. (I know I don't use it, but I wish it looked nice.)
  5. Drive something besides a mommobile.
  6. Feel better, physically and mentally.
  7. Sit quietly and visit, in person, with the friends I've made here. Writing is fine but it's a hard way to really maintain friendships and my friendships here are very important to me.
  8. Lose 60 pounds.
  9. Know that Mollie has been accepted to the college of her choice so she (and I) can stop stressing about it.
  10. Win the lottery to make all of the most of the above possible.


  1. wish there was a like button..

  2. PK, most of this will happen, in the fullness of time.
    I hope Mollie gets the collage she wants.
    As for the lottery, that's in the lap of the gods.
    It's certainly possible to lose 60 lbs, you just need the right motivation.
    Love and warm hugs,

  3. It is going to be better... There will be brighter days, believe me.
    I did once lose 35 kg, so it is possible to do it, you just need to wait for the right moment. And once the time is there, it will not even be difficult to do it. The trick is just to NEVER give up hope.
    And Mollie, well, if the american colleges don`t accept her, the germans will for sure :-)

  4. I can vividly remember my mom obsessing over her weight when I was in high school. She was desperately trying to get down to 120lbs. She struggled for YEARS with this. At the time she stood at 5 foot nothing. Now at the age of 85 and her new height of 4 foot 11 inches,she weighs 100lbs and has for a year,without any struggles or major changes on her part. So hang in there,it will happen when it happens. Yeah I too need to lose quite a bit of weight,but more like 100+ lbs.

  5. I wish you peace of mind...Hang in there....hugs...abby

  6. PK: I hope you get your enthusiam back. You are a fun person and we all want you to be back to your old self soon.

    As far as obsession about your daughter's college, I think she will be very happy wherever she goes because she will make it a positive experience.

    And as far as your weight goes, set modest goals. Maybe a pound every other week and remember, we all love you regardless of what your weight is.


  7. Mthc,
    Thanks sister.

    You are one of the ones I would really love to visit with in person.

    Thank you for this comment. I so hope the right moment will come for me to lose the weight. I appreciate the offer for Mollie to attend a college in Germany but it's going to be hard for me to let her go two hours away, I don't think I could take Germany!!

    I remember the same thing, my mom trying to lose weight although she was never really heavy. But eventually she was too thin. I sure would like to find that balance.

    Thanks Abby,
    I'm working on it. It seems to come in waves, the sad feelings and the happy ones.

    I'll get it back. But this is not normal for me and I don't like it. I need something that is going to get me started. I don't know what that would be, medicine, lightening strike, spanking - I just don't know what I need.

  8. PK, sorry you are not feeling well. Hope you feel better soon.

  9. Little bit at a time PK. Take each day as it comes. It can all happen.

    Great news for Mollie, I'm really so happy for her.