I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Tuesday, November 17, 2009

Bone density, mammograms and colonoscopys, oh my!

I am spend yesterday morning at the OB-Gyn, paps smear, stirrups, breast exams, blood draws, nosy questions – oh well, beats working. They have scheduled me for a bone density test, a mammogram and a colonoscopy, see what all I have to look forward to? It’s hell getting old and I’m not even there yet.

I did mention to her that I have been having some problems with depression on and off. I barely got the words out of my mouth before she offered to write me a prescription for something. Now I don’t want to get in the middle of a ‘should you or shouldn’t you take antidepressants’. I have a friend I love who swears she will take them for the rest of her life and that I wouldn’t want to be around her if she didn’t. Another well loved friend just agreed to try some medication after doing her best for years to avoid it. She has been extremely happy with her results so I’m not against taking something but the doctor just jumped to that so fast. I mean she only sees me once a year, she doesn’t really know me. I was hoping she might have other suggestions first.

After I explained I wasn’t really ready to try that yet she suggested St. John’s Wort – anyone out there know anything about this? I may call my counselor again. I saw her for about a year 25 years ago then when I really needed some help last year I called her up again and low and behold she was still practicing. But after a two hour visit and the suggestion I come back in a month, I never did. Instead I have imaginary conversations with her like I do with Nick sometimes. I rather imagine she would be pissed about this. She would probably like to speak for herself – but this usually works for me.

It’s strange – one minute I honestly feel I am the most normal person in the world with no reason what-so-ever to need to ‘talk’ with someone. The next minute I find myself in tears over nothing feeling that I’ll never feel happy again. This has happened all my life but to a lesser degree – maybe once or twice a year, where now it’s happening once or twice a month. I really don’t think its menopause. I’m three years into/beyond and it’s just never bothered me.

And now on to the always fun – diet update! Alright explain this to me. I have been working extra hard at the gym this week. I need to get in my hours for the challenge and I have taken several classes – core, Zumba, which is a Latin dance class and a water aerobics class too. I have eaten salad for lunch and cereal for supper. So tell me how I gained 1.4 pounds last week. Never mind, don’t tell me. It doesn’t matter. It happens. Strangely I’m not discouraged. I’ll try again next week.

8 comments:

  1. So we both had some fun yesterday. I've been seeing my Dr. Gal a little too much this past year and interestingly enough she called in a script for me that one of our dear friends is taking. The hope is it will help with one troubling thing but I know (having been on it before) I will be one happy gal for a while! To be honest, PK, I am actually looking forward to it.

    The weight! Do not beat yourself up. It will show up on the scale soon. Women's bodies are funny things like that! It sucks, I know.

    Have a great day, sister!

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  2. PK, I'm going through a switchback at the moment, no idea why.
    If you have been doing lots of exercise, don't forget muscle weighs more than fat.
    Love and warm hugs,
    Paul.

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  3. I think doctors are so busy these days so they are all to ready to hand out pills.

    Don't know too much about St. John's Wort only that it used as an anitdepressant can have side effects but so do most medicines.

    Love.
    Ronnie
    xx

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  4. PK I bet that counselor would be pissed if she knew you were having conversations with her in your head. That means you are getting the therapy for free!

    If you have been working at the gym extra hard, you could have easily put on some extra muscle, which is a good thing!

    Like Debbie said, it'll show up on that scale soon!

    I got all my old age testing done a couple of months ago. I hope your's all go smoothly!

    Love and Huggs!
    Theresa

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  5. Debbie,
    Now I'm worried that I'll want to go on them just because all my friends are doing it! LOL! Peer pressure doesn't end at the teens you know.

    Paul,
    I don't know. I don't feel like I have put on all that much muscle but I really don't know.

    Ronnie,
    I wish I had a doctor that I felt I really knew. I had the same OB-Gyn for 20 years and I loved him. I haven't felt close to a doctor since he retired 8 years ago.

    Theresa,
    Gotta love those old age tests. I'm scared if I go back to my shrink and tell her want I've been doing she is going to put all those back charger's on my bill!

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  6. Hi PK! So glad you're taking care of you - we all love you and wouldn't want it any other way. Theresa I love the therapy for free thing!

    PK you are gaining muscle which will in turn burn your calories more efficiently - which over time will get into weight loss. Your body (note I didn't say your mind!)will want a more intense work out because of its increased good shape. That's when the rewards come! Great job on the variety of classes.

    The minute to minute changes - if infact are just that do sound more hormonal in nature as opposed to day to day etc.

    PK There are emotional changes after menopause that cause anxiety, depression etc - so don't sell that theory down the road. I just googled it! It has to be true!! hugs, KayLynn

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  7. Anonymous3:55 PM

    St Johns Wort is good for stress and fatigue. I have taken it with no side effects other than upset stomach if I take it on an empty stomach. I do notice a difference when I take it. But theres also no withdraw or ill effects if you suddenly stop. I am not a doctor though. Talk to your pharmacist he or she would be able to give you great advice.

    C

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  8. C,
    Thanks for the information. I plan on giving it a try. I'll be paying attention to what seems to help.

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