I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Ooooooooo...Gradituesday

Orgasm
Orgasm

Orgasm

Orgasm

Orgasm
– multiple is the only way to go!

Obey – interesting concept. Like it in theory. Haven't tried it much in real life.

Observe – I love to sit and watch sometimes. Not drawn into a discussion or a situation but to just be a observer.



Oreos - I love these plain, crushed over ice cream or most especially battered and deep fried!!





Occasion – I love special occasions. I like people to get together and have a good time.




Ocean – The beauty, the power, the feel. Who doesn’t love sitting on the beach watching the waves crash?




Old-fashion – Isn’t that what we dream about, an old-fashion marriage. At least there are many aspects that I think I would love. I really prefer to think of marriages as old fashion rather than DD.




Organized - I love to be organized but I'm not all that good at staying that way.





And last but not least -- this is something I wrote over two years ago. On the evening I wrote it it was a true life current event. I thought some of you that hadn't seen it might like it.


‘Ode to a Repair Man’


or

How to help your HOH replace a dishwasher
while the pipes under the sink fall apart as he touches them.




Have you ever tried to help install or replace a dishwasher, or some other appliance? I have some tips:

Rule one – Shut up! He does not want your help verbally; he does not want your opinion, your suggestions or anything else from you that requires speech!

Do stay close! This is not the time to sit at the computer and laugh your ass off at someone’s post, relax in front of the tube or chat on the phone to a friend. This is especially true if the phone conversation includes how long it is taking to get the appliance installed (see rule one)

Other helpful hints would include learning the names of basic tools. If he asks for a wrench, he does not want the needle nose pliers. Do not ask “Well can’t you just use that?” (see rule one)

Realize that 99% of his questions are rhetorical and do not require an answer. Questions like “Where did I put the damn screw?” “Why is this piece of shit falling apart?” and “Who needs a fucking dishwasher in the first place?” should not be answered! (see rule one)

Try to keep the flash light shinning in the direction he is looking. If you stare longing back toward the computer the light will veer away from the correct spot. If he grabs it out of you hand, don’t say “Your head got in the way!”(see rule one)

Lastly but not least - all finger gestures must be done out of sight of the HOH and comments like ‘Bite me’ and ‘Kiss my ass’, while perfectly acceptable, must be said in you head, not muttered aloud! (see rule one)

Oh, did I tell you guy that Nick got the dishwasher reinstalled last night?


The diet up date is coming tomorrow.

7 comments:

  1. Anonymous5:17 AM

    PK,
    Those rules of yours are funny, but so true. Even though I'm a mechanic, my guy insists on "fixing" stuff. If I try to let him know what to do, it just makes things worse.
    Diana

    ReplyDelete
  2. PK, great list and I do so love to be told what to do and how to do it.
    When fixing or fitting something I prefer maximum distance between me and any female who thinks they know better.
    I'll say no more.
    Love and warm hugs,

    ReplyDelete
  3. LOL "Ode to a repair man" is great PK, love it.

    OHHHHH and I love your O list. You know I've never tried Oreos. Do you really batter and deep fry them?

    Ronnie
    xx

    ReplyDelete
  4. PK, Love your list and the Ode, too. Luckily Lash isn't the repairman type, so I just deal with pros. I assume they know what they're doing and let them do it! Meow

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love your 'Ode'....made me chuckle. I could just imagine the scene.

    love and hugs xxx

    ReplyDelete
  6. LMAO!! - except it's usually us 'erecting' the Christmas Tree!! Loved the flashlight grabbing "Your head's in the way!" It kills me that I live by Rule #1 now. I just get shusshed constantly and it not even for freakin' repairs!! Thanks PK you made me laugh out loud this evening!! KayLynn

    ReplyDelete
  7. Diana,
    One of my good friends had your problems. She knows way more than most guys about fixing things. But many guys aren't thrilled about that.

    Paul,
    LOL! You sound as if you have has experience in this area. I have mostly learned Rule one - keep my mouth shut!!

    Ronnie,
    Glad you liked the ode!

    I do like oreo's. We sometimes make a pancake batter, add just a little cinnamon and dip the cookie in. Then drop them in the deep fryer for just a minute. They are delicious and crispy on the outside and soft and melty on the inside! You can server them with ice cream!

    LOL! Don't forget to read my diet up date tomorrow!

    Meow,
    Nick can fix nearly anything and I am grateful - but sometimes I get roped into helping.

    M:e,
    It was more fun to write than it was to do!

    Kaylynn,
    Living by rule #1 can be really rough - why do you think I blog???

    ReplyDelete