The Sad Truth

This is about the saddest truth I've ever seen.

Fantasy Friday - The Storm

I've tried to get more people interested in writing for Fantasy Friday so that maybe we could have one story a month. Many thanks to Baker for taking the plunge last week with her first story. 

I'm putting up Cathy's last story today since I reposted her first two. I hope you enjoy it.

The Storm

Dennis isn’t a bossy person. We usually talk things over and decide about things together. He hardly ever tells me, no you can’t do that. But when he does it’s important to him that I listen. I’ve learned that besides just not making him mad, it’s usually a good idea.

There was one time a few years ago that I really wish I’d listen to him, but I didn’t. This was back before the baby was born. I took my older 2 kids to visit my sister for the afternoon. I love my sister but after a day with 5 kids all under 7 I was ready to head home. I was just about to call Dennis when he called there. He said that there were bad storms coming and he didn’t want me to drive home. He told me to spend the night. I argued with him some but he wouldn’t budge. So I planned on staying until my sister’s 6 year old pushed my 2 year old down and my sister called my little one a cry baby. I just wanted to take my babies and go home. I knew Dennis would probably still say no, so I didn’t call.

I sure made a big mistake. I ain’t ever driven in any worse weather. The rain was so hard I couldn’t see the road some of the time. The wind liked to blow me off the road. I tried pulling off but when I did a tree blew down right beside us. It would have killed us if it had hit the car so I pulled out and kept going. My poor kids were as scared as I was but I couldn’t hardly do nothing for them and try to drive too.

We finally got home in one piece. Usually it’s just a little over an hour drive it, but it had taken more than 2 and a half hours to get home. Dennis had called my sister about a half hour after we left to tell me that there were tornados in the area. My sister told me later that he pitched a fit when he found out we’d headed home. We didn’t have cell phones so he’d been mighty scared the whole time.

When I finally got home we were both more worried about the kids than anything else. Dennis is the best daddy in the world. He sat them both on his lap and let them talk about what they’d seen and how scared they’d been. They told him about the wind and the rain and the tree falling. My least one was too little to talk good yet but Dennis would ask her yes and no questions and he would listen to her baby talk as she tried to tell him what she’d seen. While the kids were telling Dennis about the car rocking in the wind and the tree falling so close Dennis would look up at me with a real serious look. He must have sat there near an hour talking with them and by that time they got through talking Dennis had turned it all into an adventure and proof that God loved them and would always look after them.

After we got supper and the kids to bed Dennis just come and put his arms around me. He just held me quiet like for the longest time. I knew he really didn’t want to do what he was going to do but he felt like he had to. He asked me why I hadn’t done like he told me. He didn’t think being mad at my sister was much of a reason for putting all our lives in danger. I told him I was real sorry I hadn’t listened to him. He said he didn’t boss me much but he expected me to listen when he had to. He told me I had a whippin coming, but I already knew.

We went into the bedroom and I didn’t say anything cause I knew he was right. He told me to take off my jeans and panties too. I did like he told me. I felt real bad about what I’d done but when Dennis started to take off his belt I started crying. I hate the belt. My daddy only whipped me twice but both times it was with the belt. Dennis never had to use it before. He sure whipped my butt that night. It hurt real bad. Besides that big old wide belt itself I hated that I wasn’t across his lap. If I have to have a whippin I want to be close to him, not leaning over the end of the bed. It was as hard a whippin as I ever got from Dennis, but I guess it was about the dumbest thing I ever did too.

I know some for you say you like to make love after a spanking and that you think it’s sexy. I don’t think that there is anything sexy about having Dennis that upset and getting a belt taken to your behind like that. But afterwards Dennis just held me while I cried and told me that he loved me. I was sorry and I was wrong not to listen when he told me to stay put that day. He was trying to keep us safe like he always does.


I've hope you've enjoyed this reprisal of Fantasy Friday. And I hope some of you are thinking of trying your hand at a story. If you have a story to share or if you have any questions about writing one please send it or contact me at elisspeaks@yahoo.com

Say I love you with bacon

I needed to say something about my husband. Although I would never trash my man for any reason, I do come here to complain about him a little once and a while. Spanking/ not spanking, I often mildly gripe about a few things. But in case you might be new here I’d like to paint a more accurate picture.

My parents spoiled me as I grew up, after I married the pattern didn’t change much. Almost so subtly that don’t even notice, Nick spoils me like crazy. I know my close friends out here are hurting themselves nodding in agreement.

But it really hit me again the other morning. Nick always gets up early, on the days he works he’s often out of the house before four. He doesn’t work on Fridays, but he still up early. Sometimes he has cereal for breakfast but often he’ll fix bacon and eggs for himself. (I do often make blueberry pancakes for him on Saturdays.) When Nick makes bacon, he’ll throw in a couple of slices of for me. He knows I love bacon and don’t mind eating it cold.

Last Friday I was getting out of the shower when he said, “I’m heading to the golf course. Sorry about breakfast, there was only one piece of bacon this morning.”

“No problem,” I told him and with a quick pop to my wet bottom he was gone. I dried my hair and dress then headed to the kitchen. There on the counter, on a small plate, was a half a piece of bacon.

It almost made me cry. This man loves me and boy, do I love him! The next time I complain you all should come after me with a switch!

Fantasy Friday - The Wait (Brand New FF)

I'm so happy to tell you we have a brand new Fantasy Friday today! I guess after listening to my begging and badgering a friend took pity on me and tried her hand at a little fiction writing. 

Baker, from Our Sweeter Approach to Life, sent me her first story and I think she did a great job! I ask her for a brief bio for those of you not familiar with her blog.

I am in my early 40s and have been married to my sweet man for over 15 years, but we've only been in a dd relationship for about 14 months.  We have several children that we love dearly, but drive us a little crazy and keep us on the go.  I've been blogging for about eight months.  Blogging challenges me in many ways.  I've learned to speak my heart, accept criticism and learn from others. 

Thank you Baker!  Now everyone enjoy...

The Wait

Why am I here?  Better question.  Why am I here again?  The paint is still that lovely periwinkle color.  The floor that same freezing cold oak floor that I normally admire.  I am so tired of seeing this paint so close up even if it is such a rich shade of blue.  My feet tired of being icy cold begging me for cozy, fluffy slippers.  I shiver as I feel his eyes watching me from the comfort of our bed.

Why did I say that to him?  Why did I have to use that dreadful voice?  Why cannot I find that submissive girl he loves so much.  Nope, I had to open my mouth again and say that one word that just put him over the edge.  Use that tone that just evokes so much disrespect that I even cringe remembering it.

No.  I could not just be good and listen to his side.  I wanted to argue the point to the death.  My death.  Well, not really my death, but the death of my bottom side that was now not so proudly on display for my husband to see.  I could feel his eyes on my backside, just watching me.  Daring me to move from position.   My skin prickling at the thought of his intense glare.  

My hands.  Oh, how I wish I could wring them in front of me.  Standing still is so hard.  Holding that wicked brush behind me, harder still.  I close my eyes so I can think.  Think about what I had said.  What had lead me to this place where the wall felt too close for comfort and my body shivered in not only the chill of the room, but also in anticipation of what was to come.  

Thump, thump, thump...my heart pounding in my ears.  I thought this was to calm me, center me.  No, my anxiety began to rise as the waiting continued.  I just ached for it all to be over.  To be in his arms.  Forgiven.  Why was he making me wait here so long?  Time hung in the air as I stood.  That brush touching my skin, knowing even now it felt hard and callous against my smooth bottom.  

I opened my eyes, feeling the need to not think too much as the anticipation grew inside.  My toes.  A lovely shade of rose blossom pink stared up at me from the floor.  Maybe, next time I’d have them in a matching shade of blue as the wall.  Then, then they will match the wall that they stood so close to.  

“Eyes on the wall,” came a gruff voice from behind me.  My breath hitched as my eyes sprung up.  My eyes may have met the wall, but it was my stomach flipping and my bottom clenching with growing concern that made me shutter.  How had he known my eyes were no longer there, did I really drop my chin that far to gaze at my toes?

“Focus on what you said and how you said it,” came the command.  My mind wondered, should I answer, “Yes, Sir?”  No, I’m certain he said not to say a word.  Even those two respectful words “Yes, Sir” would not be appreciated now.  I was not to speak, just think.  Reevaluate my heart, my words.  I knew one thing.  If that word ever came out in conversation with him again, I had better be halfway across the world and the brush had better have been mailed to the moon.  Silence.  It descended upon me then.   I had been foolish to utter such a careless word.  I had hurt him and soon, too soon….

“Come here!”  I almost dropped the brush when he spoke.  I did not.  I cinched it tightly in my hand even as I wished to fling it across the room and run.  I turned to him full well knowing of what was to come.

~o~

Once again, thank Baker for participating in Fantasy Friday. Don't forget to let Baker know what you think of her story and go by and check our her blog.

Next week I'm planning to put up the final story Cathy had sent me and then it will be up to all of you to see if there are any more. If you're willing to try your hand at a story, send it to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

Still thinking about the spanking lifestyle

I’m still in the mood to talk to myself, so I’m continuing along the thoughts of what I posted Saturday...

I sometimes wonder why Nick never really stepped up to the idea of dd. Some reasons are obvious. You don’t hit girls. He finally understood the concept of spanking. When he saw it was truly something I liked, when it turned me on sexually, then it was okay. But to ‘hit’, or even spank me to change my attitude, to enforce a rule, to ‘make’ me do something. He never really grasped that concept. Being the ‘boss’ never seemed right to him since he always has and always will see us as equals. It’s hard to argue with his logic.

So I keep asking myself – what is it I really want from him? If I don’t really want him to boss me around (and I don’t), then if he pretends like he’s doing it and it’s not real, then isn’t it just a game and I know that’s not what I want.

I’m beginning to understand his overall confusion.

I do know I’d like us to be closer. When we first started this, we were really close for the first time in our marriage. As I do more thinking, maybe it wasn’t the spanking, maybe it was the closeness and communication that we had at the time. I had to explain all about TTWD, explain why I liked it, what I wanted and why I wanted it.

He did want to know what it was all about at first and we talked a lot. Sometimes face to face, but often by email. He didn’t mind reading what I was thinking, he was excited too. The change in me was amazing. It wasn’t something he could have missed. I went

from a frigid, don’t touch me, let’s just be friends type of wife to someone who obviously adored him and who had wild crazy sexual ideas I wanted to try. I wanted to touch him all the time and have him touch me. We smiled more, we took the time to look into one another eyes – especially when we were with others. It’s like we had a delicious secret that made me so happy I felt like I’d swallowed sunshine.

I guess you’ve realized, if you’ve gotten this far, that I’m rambling. But these thought, wished, desires are always running through my head and where better to siphon them off than my blog.

Questions for you. Will your man talk about TTWD with you? Are you so established in what you do that you don’t need to discuss it any longer? Would you like to talk about it with him? Do you talk face to face or email? If you don’t really talk about it is there anything you would like to tell your guy about TTWD that you think he should understand better.

I really would love some answers here – leave a comment or if you have a blog, you could answer in a post.

I prefer to talk through emails. I think so much better when it comes out of my fingers rather than my mouth. I’m just as bad as Nick in that regard. I think Nick is embarrassed to talk to me about TTWD, even after all these years. Even when he talks about things I need to do for my health it comes out as teasing or a joke and not serious. But it may just be that it embarrasses him to tell me what to do, so he says it in a teasing way rather than like he’s serious, so I end up talking it as a joke. What a silly cycle we’re in.

  

Nick’s a busy man – working, taking care of two parents in two different directions, taking care of our yard and his dad’s. I feel asking him to ‘talk about TTWD or feelings’ is just one more job for him.

We don’t talk anymore, well that's not true, we talk all the time. We just don’t talk about us, or our feelings, or what we could do to get closer. He doesn't want to talk about such things. So I’ve learned to shut up and not bother him. But I think spending more time talking might help.

Musing about the spanking lifestyle

I went on vacation a few weeks ago and as with any vacation without Nick it seems eating was a main focus of the trip. I did it

well! As usual, I over did it well. Keeping my weight in check is the only thing Nick is somewhat serious about – not for looks, but for less stress on my joints, and keeping my diabetes and blood pressure in check.

Nick has helped me lose in the past and has set a certain weigh as a point of no return – as in I’m never to return there again. I kinds did and he drew a red line in the sand. Okay, actually it wasn’t in the sand, it was on my butt. The man used a switch that he cut and brought in for that purpose. Wow! He knows how I feel about anything whippy like that. I hate canes and switches. Some of you may be saying – umm… yeah, that kinda the point. Oh, shut up!

Now let me analyze this a bit. I want Nick to use TTWD for things that matter to him – actually real things. This is the only ‘real thing’ he ever spanks for. He didn’t use a fun implement that I can sink into and enjoy. He used one I hate. Although he didn’t use it long or vigorously, it was plenty enough and it even left marks (of which I was quite proud). I do appreciate his efforts and it gave me much to think about.

Sadly, I didn’t lose weight this week. But the conversation in my head was interesting. It’s just that I’ve reached the age where my extra pounds and I have been together a long time and they seem very reluctant to leave me.  I feel this is the main problem, not the fact that I over eat the wrong things and live the life of a sedentary writer. Kidding aside, it is much harder to lose than when I was forty. But in all seriousness, I know – I’m not really trying.

Nick, love of my life, evidently has not completely given up on TTWD. Have I? Consistency is not Nick’s strong suit. He could come at me with the hated cane later today or TTWD may not come up again for months. When I first came out it sure worked, I lost forty pounds. But I truly believe that came from the overall excitement of what I believed ‘could be’. Things like finding my submissive self and encouraging its growth. Living a true dd lifestyle – one that could have fit us, a mild one that kept us both strong and independent while truly focusing on us as a couple.

If Nick were to read here, and he rarely does, what would I want him to get from all this? I don’t know. There are many days I want to say – let’s just forget the hint of dd, if you want to spank for fun or sexy reasons, feel free. But not hard, that only works for real stuff. Yeah, sometime I want to say, 'forget it'. But the thing is my desire for it will always be there. It can no more be removed from me than my brain or my heart. If I’m alive, it’s there. It lived in me

as smoldering embers for nearly fifty years before I began to tend it. I gave it oxygen and fuel and it burst into a passionate, all consuming, raging fire as I found blogs and came out – man, that was some of the best times in my life.

It’s back to embers now. Those red-hot coals live under a protective blanket of gray charcoal. Occasionally Nick fans the flames, but only for the briefest flare up. I guess it’s a safe way to live.

I have more thoughts along these lines. Come back Monday.

Fantasy Friday - Watch your mouth

I've decided to try to get some new people interested in Fantasy Friday again. I'm not expecting to put up a new story every week, but I still want to encourage people to try their hand at writing. Give it a try people, what can it hurt? 

If you're willing to try a story send it to elisspeaks@yahoo.com and I'll share the story with my readers.

For today I'm giving you the second story I got from Cathy who I feel writes simply, but at the same time elegantly, about her life.

Watch Your Mouth

I decided to write about when me and Dennis first started dating. He went to my church but back then he seemed a lot older. Really it’s less than 4 years. In high school everyone liked Dennis. He was good looking. He played football and he drove a real nice truck. Even the teachers liked him. I figured he didn’t even know I was alive but not long after I turned 16 he asked me to the movies. We dated pretty regular after that.

I had a pretty bad temper back then and once when Dennis came to pick me up after school I was in a cuss fight with this girl in the parking lot. He pulled up beside us and told me to get in the truck. I told him I would after I kicked that b***h in the butt. He got out, didn’t say a word, and picked me up and sat me in the truck. All the people standing around watching the fight were laughing at me and I was real mad at Dennis. As we drove off I started cussin and fussing at him.

He didn’t say anything for a while and then he pulled over. He just talked to me but he said that I sounded like trash when I talked that way. It hurt my feelings real bad. He said he hated cussing. He said when he was little his daddy cussed him and his brothers a lot and even his mom. One day when Dennis was about 15 he came in the house and his daddy was saying really mean ugly things to his mama. Dennis got between them and told his daddy he had to stop.  His daddy got real mad at him then and took off his belt to whip Dennis. Dennis was bigger than his daddy even then. But Dennis told him, You can whip me if you want to but that’s my mama and you ain’t never cussin her again. Do you know his daddy stopped? He started crying right then and there and he’s been a changed man ever since. Me and Dennis have been together a long time and I have never once heard his daddy cuss anybody.

Dennis told me that story sitting there in the truck that day and told me he didn’t ever want to hear me cuss again. He said if he did he’d whip my butt. I didn’t think he was serious about that part but I did decide to watch my mouth when he was around. But a few months later about the same thing happened. I’d gone to the movies with my little sister and some stupid old girl said something about her when we were coming out and I got really mad. There was a little pushing and shoving and a whole lot of cussin. Dennis was out in the parking lot to pick us up and he heard everything. He was mad and when he told us to get in the truck I didn’t say anymore, we just got in.

He dropped my sister off at the house and told her to tell mama I’d be home later. He hadn’t said nothing to me. Then he drove to this cabin he’d been fixing up. As soon as we got inside he said, I told you I’d whip your butt if you talked like that again. Then he put me over his knee and spanked me hard. Dennis is a really big man.  His hand is near as big as a dinner plate. Seemed like he spanked me for a really long time, I was crying and telling him I was sorry and that I wouldn’t do in any more.

He still took his time. When he was done he went over to his big chair and held me in his lap while I cried. I was crying because I was hurting but also because I was embarrassed. I hadn’t been spanked too much growing up. Mama would switch us once and a while but being put over Dennis’ lap like that and how much I really liked him well I was just embarrassed.

He just let me sit there and cry for a long time while he rubbed my back. Then he started talking and telling me I was too good a person to talk like that. He said he wouldn’t want his wife or the mother of his children to talk that way. It wasn’t exactly a proposal but it sure got my attention. I don’t cuss any more, not even when I’m mad. If I did I’m guessing Dennis would handle it about the same way but that’s not why I stopped. I stopped because Dennis wanted me to and I love him.

Fantasy Friday - Real Life

It’s been a while. But I wanted to let everyone know that Fantasy Friday is not dead, it’s only resting. Fantasy Friday began nearly ten years ago to let everyone who reads here have a place where they could send in a story and have it posted whether they had a blog or not. Personally, I loved it and I got to know so many wonderful people who sent stories. Some are now my best friends in real life. I wanted to make another pitch and for three weeks I’m posting re-runs.

This three-story series was one of my favorites. First off this sweet woman didn’t think she could write, but her stories really touched me. It shows that everyone has a story in them. It may be your real life; it could be a fantasy you’ve carried in your head for years just to enjoy in private. I’m just here to encourage you to write your story, your fantasy. Write it for yourself mostly but if you’re willing send it to me and I’ll share it as a Fantasy Friday. My readers have always been very supportive – reading the comment can be a real ego booster.

I may occasionally post some re-runs, but right now I only plan to have a Fantasy Friday up when I get a new one. Hopefully once a month. All that depends on you. You can send your story to elisspeaks@yahoo.com

Real Life

I guess this really isn’t a Fantasy Friday story. I can’t write story like all of you all can. I emailed PK to tell her I liked reading and she told me to try writing one. I told her everyone out here seemed like really good writers and I didn’t want to do that then she told me to just write my own story of my life. So I got up the nerve to try.

We’re very ordinary people. Dennis works hard, he doesn’t wear a tie. He comes home dirty from work but he comes home with a smile for me and the kids. He’s a good man. We don’t have money for many extras but he’ll bring me wild flowers from the field sometimes. He’ll watch the kids if I want to go to the movies with my friends. When he sees I’m too tired or frustrated to cook supper he’ll pile us all in the car and go to McDonalds to eat. He’ll have me and the kids laughing at his jokes and teasing so much the worries of the day just fade away.

Out here you all tall about a dd relationship. We've never called it anything. He doesn't have a ton of rules and stuff but he’s serious about 3 things, keep yourself healthy and safe, don’t lie to him and no sass mouth. I do my best but if I break these rules I get my butt whipped. Our kids have the same rules but they don’t get whipped for breaking them. Dennis says they’re just kids that need to learn. A night with no TV is all we need to use to straighten them right up when they forget. Dennis says I’m a grown woman and should know better.

I lied to him about a Christmas gift I got for the kids. I knew he’d think it was too much and I really wanted to get it so I told him it was half of what it really cost. I write the checks to pay for stuff so I didn’t think he would know but for some reason he saw the bill. He was pretty mad. He went right to the phone and called my mama – she only lives about 10 minutes away. He told her that he sure would like to have some time alone with his wife and could the kids come visit for a while. My mama was tickled and told him to bring them on and let them spend the night. She thinks its real romantic when he does this. Sometimes it is, but not this time.

After he got the kids ready he whispered to me to that I better have my naked butt in the bedroom corned and be holding the hairbrush when he got back. I sure wasn’t happy but I did like he said. I heard him come in later but I kept my eyes in the corner. I could tell he was standing in the bedroom doorway and finally he asked me what happened when I lied to him. I told him I knew I’d get a whippin. And I sure did. He spanked me real hard! I was hollering and crying by the time he finished. He was sweet afterwards and hugged me and dried my tears but he wasn’t done with me yet. Lying is something Dennis is real serious about. He told me that that it would take him about 7 hours of work to pay off the $120 I’d lied about and that for the next week I’d have to spend an hour after we got the kids in bed writing lines for him. That wouldn’t be so bad except when I’m writing lines I don’t get to just sit in a chair. Dennis brought this awful rough door mat. It hurts real bad just to rub your hand across it. He puts that in chair I have to sit my naked butt on that thing for an hour a night for the next 7 nights while I write those lines. I wish I hadn’t lied to him to start with. I told him I was real sorry and he knew I was telling the truth.

I know this isn’t a real story like you all are used to but I appreciate PK letting me be a part of Fantasy Friday too.

Mollie wants a cat

Yes, Mollie wants a cat. I had no doubt this was coming. She’s lived with cats all her life. Now that her roommate bailed on her (and boy, could I write a post or two about that roommate) Mollie's lonely and she’s mentioned a cat more and more often. While I want to be supportive I’m not sure it’s the right time for a cat.

I explained my concerns to her. 1) She has brand new furniture and whether she gets a scratching post or not the new couch and chair are going to be damaged. 2) For the first time in her life she is living cat hair free. She doesn’t have to have a sticky roller in every room and in her car – is she ready to give that up? 3) Pets are expensive. She carrying a mortgage now with no roommate, does she want extra expenses? 4) She has a trip planned for later in the summer, who cat sits? I could go on, but you get the idea. I told her I understood and I loved cats too – but was this the right time?

LJ and Collin have two cats in the city and she decided to give him a call. His take on the situation, “Everything mom says is right! They have destroyed our furniture and we need to invest in the sticky-roller business. Everything in the apartment is covered. I hate living in cat fur. But taking all that into account I love our cats way more than I do the furniture and having my clothes fur free.”

Sigh… meet my new grand cat.

She's little.

She sleeps a lot.

And she's precious and I love her 
and Mollie makes a great mom.

Home with my man

I feel like I’ve been away forever. Retirement hasn’t given me the unending time to blog that I had envisioned. But I’ve just gotten back from a wonderful trip full of time in the sun, great conversations and wonderful food! Definitely my kind of trip!

But I was still happy to get home to Nick. It seems we’ve been

apart for a very long time. After his mom broke her hip everyone took turns sitting with her in the hospital. Nick and I did a lot of passing one another with mostly a, ‘hey’ or, ‘I’ll see you later.’ MIL is in rehab now and doing well physically, but Alzheimer’s is a relentless bitch and we all still have to deal with that.

Nick and I were really happy to be able to spend Saturday together. We went shopping and I got him some Adirondack chairs for him for Father’s Day. While we had the trailer hitched up we also took our broken down pool furniture to the dump – not the most thrilling part of my Saturday, but I still got to be with Nick. After that we still had the afternoon to ourselves.

I told him that my sunburn was stinging a little and that I sure could use some lotion rubbed on it, and as long as he was rubbing… I also pointed out that while my shoulders and chest had gotten too red, other parts of me definitely needed color.  The sweet man was willing to help with both. I entered the bedroom wearing a recently acquired tiara – I wanted the man to know he was dealing with someone of royal standing. He thought it was extremely appropriate, and I was indeed treated like a queen.

I also realized that I am officially a spanking wimp! I just can’t take it like I used to. Strange, I used to be able to take anything he could throw at me and he would always stop way before I wanted him to. No longer! It might be different if it was for real, but just for play I’m thinking we should stick to patty-cake.

After I did get a little color I was ready to move on to bigger and better things and we did. I love afternoon loving! You can finish up and go right into a well-deserved, loving induced, coma/nap.

I am very happy to be home with my man. Traveling is always fun, but for me – a hermit at heart – few things beat being able to stay home writing and puttering around. Hopefully, I’m going to be here a little more often, I hope you will too.