Why I'm here

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t seem to find my

blogging mojo these days. Things are well here. A little spanky fun now and then, but not too much in my head these days that sparks a post. I’m even slipping on my commenting. I read everyone but more and more I feel I have little to add.

However, Shell’s post the other day did start me thinking. If you haven’t read it, go there now and check it out. 

Blog-fog & Fear 

It got me thinking about my beginning as a blogger. Blogland was a different world then. Not better, not worse – but definitely different. There were many, many more people blogging. There was much teasing and laughing back and forth. Most of us were begging our husbands to participate in this lifestyle. And thought we talked about submission, it never much seemed to materialize. Mostly because our husbands were somewhat confused by it and didn’t really seem to want it.

I began blogging to explore. This was before 50 Shades and I’d suddenly found my own kind when I didn’t really think any others existed. I was hopping up and down excited. I knew this was a huge part of who I was, I mean deep in my soul I knew this. Yet for nearly fifty years I had not one person with whom I could discuss it. And here was a playground full of women wanting to talk about it, share thought, ideas, implement choices and desires, you name it! And while there was a fear of being outted to those in my real life at the time, the joy of finding these friends far outweighed it.

Shell asked:

• How do I keep from taking every ttwd moment from this day forward and running it through a blogging analyser?  
• How do I hold on to authenticity in real life, when in the back of my head I know this will end up on a blog post at some point?
• How do I separate blogger me from ttwd-wife me?  Or maybe I shouldn't.  Maybe they too need to learn to move together in harmony.....but how?

Very thought provoking questions. But for me blogging wasn’t far from what we women do all the time. If I’d found a great restaurant, a new kitchen gadget, bought new furniture I would have gone to work the next day and discussed these things with my friends. I would have done the same with more serious things like a problem with the kids or concern for an elderly parent. For most things in life we have someone we talk to – sometimes for their advice but mostly just to share and unburden ourselves with those who we feel will understand.

For me blogging is the same thing, except our core topic is much more interesting! Women talk, we share – just think about standing in line at the restroom. We can return knowing intimate details of the women standing around us (Nick says this rarely happens in a men’s room.)  

So if something wonderful happened in real life – a new car, a glorious vacation, the wedding of our children we share with our friends at work (verbal blogging). But in addition to that, actual blogging gave me a place to come when’d we’d tried something new and had mind blowing sex! I could share when I’d had a spanking that was well deserved where I felt forgiveness and reconnection. And I could talk about the silly fun spankings that pop up at times. Blogging gave me a special and safe place to discuss all these things.  And by taking the time to write them out it’s helped me have a much better understanding of both myself and if Nick.

Shell said :  Truth is. I don’t want to quit. I want to get this right. And to that I just want to say – you’ve already got it right. You’re here sharing with us, letting us share with you and we’re talking to one another. We do it all here – share, support, occasionally scolded and mostly encourage one another. 

That’s why I’m here and I’ll probably be here as long as this continues.