I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

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Thursday, February 07, 2019

Why I'm here

I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I can’t seem to find my
blogging mojo these days. Things are well here. A little spanky fun now and then, but not too much in my head these days that sparks a post. I’m even slipping on my commenting. I read everyone but more and more I feel I have little to add.

However, Shell’s post the other day did start me thinking. If you haven’t read it, go there now and check it out. 

It got me thinking about my beginning as a blogger. Blogland was a different world then. Not better, not worse – but definitely different. There were many, many more people blogging. There was much teasing and laughing back and forth. Most of us were begging our husbands to participate in this lifestyle. And thought we talked about submission, it never much seemed to materialize. Mostly because our husbands were somewhat confused by it and didn’t really seem to want it.

I began blogging to explore. This was before 50 Shades and I’d suddenly found my own kind when I didn’t really think any others existed. I was hopping up and down excited. I knew this was a huge part of who I was, I mean deep in my soul I knew this. Yet for nearly fifty years I had not one person with whom I could discuss it. And here was a playground full of women wanting to talk about it, share thought, ideas, implement choices and desires, you name it! And while there was a fear of being outted to those in my real life at the time, the joy of finding these friends far outweighed it.

Shell asked:

  • How do I keep from taking every ttwd moment from this day forward and running it through a blogging analyser?  
  • How do I hold on to authenticity in real life, when in the back of my head I know this will end up on a blog post at some point?
  • How do I separate blogger me from ttwd-wife me?  Or maybe I shouldn't.  Maybe they too need to learn to move together in harmony.....but how?

Very thought provoking questions. But for me blogging wasn’t far from what we women do all the time. If I’d found a great restaurant, a new kitchen gadget, bought new furniture I would have gone to work the next day and discussed these things with my friends. I would have done the same with more serious things like a problem with the kids or concern for an elderly parent. For most things in life we have someone we talk to – sometimes for their advice but mostly just to share and unburden ourselves with those who we feel will understand.


For me blogging is the same thing, except our core topic is much more interesting! Women talk, we share – just think about standing in line at the restroom. We can return knowing intimate details of the women standing around us (Nick says this rarely happens in a men’s room.)  

So if something wonderful happened in real life – a new car, a glorious vacation, the wedding of our children we share with our friends at work (verbal blogging). But in addition to that, actual blogging gave me a place to come when’d we’d tried something new and had mind blowing sex! I could share when I’d had a spanking that was well deserved where I felt forgiveness and reconnection. And I could talk about the silly fun spankings that pop up at times. Blogging gave me a special and safe place to discuss all these things.  And by taking the time to write them out it’s helped me have a much better understanding of both myself and if Nick.

Shell said :  Truth is. I don’t want to quit. I want to get this right. And to that I just want to say – you’ve already got it right. You’re here sharing with us, letting us share with you and we’re talking to one another. We do it all here – share, support, occasionally scolded and mostly encourage one another. 

That’s why I’m here and I’ll probably be here as long as this continues. 



22 comments:

  1. What a great post PK. I particularly love your comparison to how we share going to a great restaurant etc with work friends. I love that we have this place to share and learn from and encourage each other. The friendships made here are amazing and as we know, go beyond ttwd.

    Shell's post was very thought provoking and they are great questions, and questions I think we have all asked.

    I'm so glad you are here. You have a lot to add to this community.

    Hugs
    Roz

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    1. Thank you, Roz. I love this place for being able to talk about spanking but I love it for being able to talk about all the other things in my life too.

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  2. PK,
    When I had thoughts of stopping my blog, I thought of you. You have explained to me how much you love to write and how the friends met along the way are important to you. I listened to that talk. I believe we were on a beautiful beach or chest deep in that warm water talking away. I consider you a mentor as you were here way befor any to the rest of us. Blogging feels safe and comfortable to explore who we are and I really lkie that. Thank you for being here. So many appreciate you and your blog........ and your lovely southern accent.
    Meredith

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    1. Again, you are dead wrong about the accent - but I thank you for the rest of what you said. I've just always wanted to talk about this stuff and having an audience helped. I thank you all.

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  3. PK,

    What a great way to explain blogging about ttwd.

    Being a newbie, it has been a great resource for myself. Learning how to ask for what I want from the Sheriff, you ladies have given me the benefit of your knowledge without the backyard fences.

    I love that Meredith entices new bloggers out to give a fresh feel and look.

    However, those of you who have been here longer give a sense of steadfastness through the years which gives me hope for going forward.

    So thanks to you (and all the others) for being here.

    Boo

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    1. I just love being here and being able to question and preach a bit. But it would be no fun at all if others weren't here.

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  4. Hi PK, :) I love your post! We all came to the land for different reasons, with one interest on our minds... SPANK SPANK!! Yet we found out that there is so much more to being a part of it all- exactly those elements that you named above- sharing, support, friendship, encouragement,understanding, accepting differences,learning, sometimes teaching, etc. 'Tis a grand place to be!

    Sometimes I cannot believe that I've been around for well over 6 years (lurking/commenting is a small part of that)! I remember thinking that a blogger who had been here for four years was really cool! Now I am well past that one! Time flies by so quickly, doesn't it?

    You are a gem of a blogger, writer, and friend!❤️ It is always a pleasure to drop by! Love you! Many hugs,

    ❤️Katie xoxo

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    1. We all make one another better and hopefully the longer we're around the better we get. I love hearing how different people got here. So many interesting roads.

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  5. Thank you PK. You've given me a lot to think about -- and a lot of hope that I will get past these first-time jitters. Truly appreciate your post.

    I also appreciate your longevity. You've kept on through doubt, fears, and probably rough and tumble commenters, etc. You stuck it out - and that says much about your character and the value you place on working through this with like-minded friends. Thank you.

    Hugs -- shell

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    1. I often wondered as old friends left if I was the crazy one - maybe everyone else moved on to lofter endeavors. But I owe such a debt of gratitude to those who were here when I came looking. They changed my life.

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  6. Deena3:23 PM

    Just stopping by to thank you all. Sharing this part of your life has made a huge impact on mine. You are all kind, open, brave, and warm and I am grateful.

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    1. I thank you for saying this. Like I said above, I have those I'm very grateful to also.

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  7. Hi, PK! I appreciate your steadfastness here in blog land. You have seen a lot and experienced a lot that we newbies know nothing about. You've seen so many bloggers come and go and sometimes that was painful for you and I imagine you miss some (but not all!) of them. HA!

    I appreciate the fact that you have been here for me when I was facing some blogging dilemmas and a little shade being thrown my way, albeit "anonymously." But, I believe that you like to make blog land an accepting place for all who want to be here. Thanks for all your hard work, the fun times, and your friendship. Hugs, Windy

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    1. I do miss so many of my old friends from the past. But even though they are no longer writing here they each taught me so much and in my head they are still a part of my life.

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  8. Hi PK! ... laughing here! ... that it's only after 12.5 yrs you feel like maybe you've run out of things to say :>)) I think all of us appreciate what you bring to this forum ... 3 blogs, your books plus all your experience in Blogland. I can well imagine how it must have been when you started out. Blogging would have been fairly new so to have found all those like minded folks out there with whom you could talk about all 'this', would have been exciting times for sure!

    I am thankful you have stuck around and were still here by the time I rolled around ... and even if you don't blog as much and only comment when you want, it's all good ... hugs! ... nj

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    1. Oh, NJ! I ran out of things to say a dozen years ago! I just kept on talking, LOL. Well maybe something profound found its way here one and a while. But mostly I'm just here to shoot the breeze.

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  9. Blogland would not be the same without you. When I wasn't blogging for awhile, I missed you like crazy. May sound strange but you I love your friendship. I do miss the old bloggers and the times where there were so many blogging that it was hard to find time to read all of them. It was fun. ow there are new friends to be made. I hope that you always have something to say.

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    1. Thanks Blondie - you were missed too! There are many I miss, but I love the ones that are here.

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  10. This is really nice, PK. I get on so infrequently now I forget how important it is to have these girlfriends; keeping things real, and fresh, and good.
    Amy

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    1. I probably spend too much time here. But I do enjoy it. It's strange that I feel closer to my friends here that I've never seen or that I see rarely than the ones I see every day.

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  11. This is so interesting. I stopped when you said to go to Blog-fog and Fear and read it. I just want to say that I really appreciate the blogs I've read in the past couple years. I even considered (for a minute) writing one myself. Part of the reason I decided against it, is a fear of what you all describe, also happening to me. It would be too time consuming for me.

    I've looked at other blogs and even commented on some, but I always come here because you have become a friend and you have helped me so much to understand myself and TTWD. In the beginning (you know I have read every post from the start) your insights were invaluable. And now I'm just happy to read whatever you have to say. You are a wonderful writer and you're just plain fun!

    I can see what a heavy responsibility blogging can be, but I hope you don't give up. You obviously are helping people as the comments show. And there must be many more who are helped who don't comment.

    I would recommend that anyone new to your blog go back and read from the beginning. I know you don't want to rehash it all now (though that would be great--I loved TBT) but it was so good for someone wanting to learn and help sort out their own feelings. Personally, I got more honest with my husband about all of this from reading about how brave you've been.

    Thank you. You have become a precious friend who knows more about me than anyone else besides my husband.

    Love you, Rosie Dee

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  12. I love this post, PK. We all came to blogging in our own ways and our own reasons. I love being a part of the community we have created for each other. Yes, it has changed throughout the years, but it is still such a wonderful way to share and learn and communicate with friends. I always love reading your posts. I, myself, have not had anything spanking related to share for a long time, but I keep coming back because I can't imagine not being a part of it. There is such a nice bond. And even the friends that have come and gone, I feel like we crossed paths for a reason and I am grateful. I hope you keep blogging for a long time. :-) Hugs

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