I have been a wife and mother for over twenty years. Now I am becoming my husband's lover, too.
We owe it all to my fellow bloggers who gave me the courage to come out to my husband as a spanko.
I do feel like this is a New Beginning for us.

You must be 18 to view this site.

Wednesday, January 23, 2019

He made me think. And I HATE that!


I’ve been writing to Nick each week as he asked. So I’ve been putting some thought into what I’ve needed to say. There’s been nothing earth shattering so far – the holidays, babysitting, enjoying guest – I haven’t sat around contemplating TTWD. But evidently, Nick has been.

He emailed me a request. He’d talked about it before but this time he worded it in a way that had me doing some of this deep thinking that I don’t like doing. I can come up with hundreds of things I do or don’t do that I think would give Nick ample reasons to spank me. I don’t like to cook or clean, I get to bed late, I ignore clean laundry (that he’s washed) and don’t get it put away, and there are dozens more.

But this request encouraged me to turn the tables. He asked for me to think of things I would want him to change or do or stop doing if were the disciplinary. Part of his email read:

I now offer the opportunity for you to address issues that I need to consider (realizing that it may be difficult to think of anything(funny man)).  If you are able to think of anything, pick a day sometime this month and give me a heads up of a day or two to get in a listening mindset. Hopefully this will allow you to experience the difficulty in judging exactly how you think it should be handled, and perhaps the awkwardness of being judge and jury. And it will give me issues to consider towards becoming a better husband.

I saw what he was getting at. So I gave it some thought. Although Nick is far from perfect, there was very little I could think of that I would judge a ‘spankable offence’ if I were the spanker in the family. I finally came up with one thing he does that bugs me, but after that one I was down to searching for anything! I found one more, on rare occasions he rinses out his cereal bowl and leaves a cheerio or two in the strainer. Good grief! My husband gives me carte blanche to ‘correct’ anything I don’t like about him and that’s all I can come up with?

While I can spot my own faults quite easily, I now realize that looking at the one you love and try to point out their faults or things they should change doesn't come so naturally.  I guess it all boils down to we just don’t bug each other too much and we’re both very understanding of the other.

This all reminded me of an incident that happened over thirty years ago. We’d been married about three years, when I came home from my college class one afternoon. Nick gave me a funny look and asked, “Do you have anything to tell me?

I gave him a bewildered look and answered, “No, why do you ask.”

“I got a call from the Jerry Springer show today,” he told me. 

“They said my wife had something important to tell me. They said she wanted to tell me on the show and that they would fly us to Chicago and put us in a nice hotel for our stay.”



I was dumbfounded. “What did you say?” I asked. 

“I told them, no thanks. We weren’t interested.” 

“Why did you do that?” I nearly whined. “Now we’ll never know what I was going to tell you!” 

We both laughed and that was it. But can you imagine the furor this could have caused in some marriages? We just weren’t worried. We never did find out if it was really the show or if someone was pranking us. Perhaps we’re just too laid back.

I couldn’t remember the name of the show that had called so I text Nick. He reminded me it was Jerry Springer and added, ‘Did you remember what you were going to tell me?’

I told him, ‘Nope, sorry, but I’m still trying.’ Oh, well.

Nick did get me thinking. Nothing’s changed. But I took the time to stop and think. If it was the other way around I know I would never be able to do a good job as judge, jury and … spanker. Not with someone I love as much as I do him. So I think I’ll cut him some slack. I’ll enjoy our play time and let the rest of DD just sit there on the periphery. It’s there if we should ever need it, but I don't think it will  come into play too often.

37 comments:

  1. Hi PK,I think it's great that Nick gave you the chance to turn the tables. Sounds like this was an interesting experiment (for want of a better word). We ask a lot of our guys asking them to hold us accountable.

    Your Jerry Springer story made me giggle:)

    Hugs
    Roz

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I haven't spent as much time viewing things from his side as I should have. But it's hard.

      Delete
  2. Oh wow. That does change the perspective a bit. I remember really struggling with this for awhile. We didn't have many rules since Matt saw me as a grown adult and not needing supervision. And he was right, with the exception of bull-dozering and my temper, I'm a pretty behaved girl. (Except when I dont want to be - cue evil grin) But seriously, if I behaved, then I didn't get what I needed. But I had no desire to break rules just for the sake of getting his attention -- seemed like a moot point.

    Dont' you just hate it when our guys come up with ways to get their point across without a paddle?? Grrrrrr :)

    Hugs - shell

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think I need a temper and some bull-dozing skills, just in case, LOL! And, yeah, I do hate that.

      Delete
  3. What a shame that he didn't stay on the call and find out if it was real or a prank.

    All I could think of is how did they know you wanted to tell him you wanted to be spanked.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL! At the time I didn't plan to ever tell him that!

      Delete
  4. What an amazing opportunity to look at things from the other side. Darn Nick for making you think!

    Boo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I agree! Darn, him! But I love him!

      Delete
  5. Interesting perspective. Enjoyed your post.
    --Baker

    ReplyDelete
  6. Wise man and a wife that recognizes wisdom in her husband and herself.

    ReplyDelete
  7. PK,
    I always find your written comminication the two of you have so interesting and Nick's wisdom does shine through here.
    Meredith

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He's a smart fellow for sure.

      Delete
  8. Very wise of Nick to turn the tables so you know what it feels like if your were the spanker. Gives us all food for thought. Great post PK.
    Hugs Lindy xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes he's wise, but I don't like to think! LOL!

      Delete
  9. PK, Well, it might make me a crabby ttwd wife, but as sweet as Storm is and as nearly perfect, if the tables were turned, oh I'd have a list of spankable offenses for sure! He laughs at me all the time when I tell him.

    Whatever works for you two....keep talking and it is good that he is making you think!! Windy

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nick is just so good - he does laundry, he cooks, he does the yard work and he never fusses at me and what I do or don't do. So the few things that bug me are so tiny in comparison ... I don't like thinking.

      Delete
  10. Interesting how Nick has got you to look at things from his side. A wise man. Good post and keep up the communication.

    Love,
    Ronnie
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He does have a way of doing that occasionally. Darn him.

      Delete
  11. I love it when Nick sets you to thinking. It shows how well this communication is working for you two. Perhaps this is something we all should try now and then.

    Hugs From Ella

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. While I don't like thinking I do believe this is a good experiment for most DD couples.

      Delete
  12. It doesn’t sound as though the door has closed completely - keep on thinking!
    Rosie xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, it's a swinging door. I guess it always will be.

      Delete
  13. Wow! Nick is very wise. I would have a tough time coming up with anything for Ty. We don't do the DD thing as much as I could use it but I will take what I can get. I love your marriage.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL I think the grass is a little greener everywhere we look. But I think we're all doing pretty well.

      Delete
  14. Love that Nick has somewhat turned the tables on you, PK. It sure does give one a different perspective. I think I'd have a tough time coming up with spankable offences for Frank as well - I've always said we expect a lot of our ttwd HoH fellas.

    I do get the impression Nick is digging deep right now, trying to figure out how best to help the two of you move forward into the next chapter ... all the best with that! ... nj ... xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We do ask a lot and sometimes, anymore, I'm not even sure of what I want. I hope he's digging deep, 'cause I think my shovel broke.

      Delete
  15. Wow! This really blows my mind! I can't even imagine! Not that I don't ever have a complaint but, compared to me, my husband is a saint!
    Rosie Dee

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. See - it's was a real problem to come up with things.

      Delete
  16. Deena3:15 PM

    Hmmm. This has me thinking as well. I do know this is super difficult to my guy. He's definitely not a natural HOH type. It's quite helpful to see their point of view.
    Also, I just downloaded your new book (it's the first of yours for me and it seemed ok to start here?) and am so looking forward to reading it!
    As always, thank you for sharing. So helpful. Truly.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We really do need to see their side of the whole thing too, especially those of us whose husbands are the natural HOH type.
      I appreciate you reading the book. It's a great place to start, but if you do like my writing style I hope you'll try a Cassie book too.

      Delete
  17. Wow! Nick has really given this some thought and that alone is wonderful.
    Maybe you are destined to have mostly the fun, sexy, good girl spankings with perhaps the tougher stuff waiting in the wings if needed. If that works for you both then it’s great, but keep ‘talking’ anyway.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I appreciate his thoughts too. Like you said - just the fact that he took the time to think it all out and email me says a lot. We're working on the talking.

      Delete
  18. Hi, PK. :) I had to run and tell the Duke the Jerry Springer story. That is tooooo funny. I love that all you could come up with is the cheerios in the strainer. :)
    EsMay

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's amazing! The Springer story always tickled me. I do sometimes wonder who was behind it.

      Delete
  19. He is very clever in turning the tables and getting you to think from his perspective. :-) You are both the sweetest pair and love each other just the way you are. No wonder neither of you can think of reasons to spank the other. :-) I don't know that I would be able to think of anything either, though clearly neither my hubby nor myself are perfect. Hugs to you

    ReplyDelete