Wednesday, March 12, 2014

Another answer

Tracy from Angel Brat's blog ask the following question - I've seen a lot of bloggers who choose a word that they want to focus on for the year, like "Dream", or "Stretch" or "Prioritize" or "Balance", etc. If you were to choose a word (or phrase) that embodies what is important to you at this time in your life, what would it be? 


I hadn’t given this much thought until you asked. I think I feel my life moving more toward – honesty. It’s not that I feel I’ve been dishonest in the past, but suddenly I feel less and less like I want to hide anything. I still want to be polite, but I’m much more likely to politely tell someone I completely disagree with what they are saying or proposing, where in the past I might just keep my mouth shut. A friend at school told me the other day; “I never walk away from a conversation with you without knowing exactly how you feel.” I think the meant it as a teasing insult, but I took it as a compliment.

In the past I’ve always avoided any confrontation, no longer. I surely don’t want to pick a fight, but I’ll state my opinion. My boss and I recently disagreed about an issue I feel strongly about. I listened quietly, knowing I was right, and he was wrong. I took the time when I got home that afternoon to write him a very polite, very direct letter stating my side (quite well, if I do say so myself). I sent it and the next morning I had an email from him; “See me 9:45” You never get too old to get that sinking feeling in your stomach when called to the principal’s office.

He began by saying, “I got your letter and I thought about it all night. In fact I ran through a whole range of emotions.” (I was amazed to hear the man even had emotions.) And he restated what he had said the day before, but obviously with much more understanding of where I was coming from. It felt good, like I’d been heard. In the past I would have just stayed mad.


So as I get older I guess I’m going to continue to work on polite honesty. Thanks Tracy, I enjoyed answering this question.

Written by PK at 12:00 AM

19 comments

19 Comments:

At 7:00 AM, Blogger Roz said...

Hi PK, such an interesting question and I love your answer! Good on you. Honesty is important and it's much better than bottling up how you really feel and telling someone what they want to hear ... which may not be what they 'need' to hear.

Good on you also for writing the letter to your boss. I'm glad it resulted in you feeling better about the situation.

Hugs,
Roz

 
At 7:37 AM, Blogger abby said...

Ah...i think as we get older...we get wiser...at least in some things. This is a great example of that..and no i am not implying that you are old...LOL.
hugs abby

 
At 7:56 AM, Blogger Paul said...

PK,
always a good policy, keep it up.
Love and warm hugs,
Paul.

 
At 8:52 AM, Blogger Leigh Smith aka Sunny Girl said...

:)

 
At 11:11 AM, Blogger Autumn said...

Wow, you're brave to write that letter to your boss! At my previous job, I disagreed with just about everything politically with my boss, and we would get into quasi-arguments where I would just give up, rather than sacrifice my job, haha.

 
At 11:31 AM, Blogger Ami Starsong said...

So age brings wisdom, huh? You sound like me saying "May I respectfully point out..." instead of just blowing up like I used to. Still think it's time you got rid of the day job, PK. It's great being retired, even if everyone on earth then claims every minute of your day! Just started your second Cassie book BTW and I am soooooo glad you have several more books to go!

Hugs
Ami

 
At 1:07 PM, Blogger an English Rose said...

Hi PK. I thought you might say retirement!!
love Jan,xx

 
At 1:59 PM, Blogger Es May said...

Oh, I HATE that feeling in the pit of my stomach whenever a boss wants to "talk". So glad he listened and considered your point of view. :)

{{{hugs}}} EsMay

 
At 9:47 PM, Blogger Terpsichore said...

PK, I want to be just like you when I grow up (in a few years...I'm not far behind) :-) Finding your voice is a powerful thing and I am glad you found yours. :-) Hugs

 
At 10:17 PM, Blogger PK said...

I decided to post the letter tomorrow - I share everything out her, LOL

 
At 10:29 PM, Blogger PK said...

I'll take anything that says I might possible be getting wiser.

 
At 10:30 PM, Blogger PK said...

I'll keep trying.

 
At 10:31 PM, Blogger PK said...

me too

 
At 10:34 PM, Blogger PK said...

My partner and I loved teaching together before he retired, but we disagreed on everything, but how to teach. He'd get on a rant about something I disagreed with and I'd let him rattle on. When he would finally hush I'd say, "You know, you're wrong." He'd start in again and rant for another 10 minutes then I'd say again, "You know, you're wrong." I felt I was saving energy.

 
At 10:36 PM, Blogger PK said...

Oh Ami! I think so too! I'm just so tired of it all and I want to stay home and write. Thank you so much for reading!

 
At 10:38 PM, Blogger PK said...

Well you know that's what I want - and I'm being very HONEST about it to Nick, who is totally ignoring me.

 
At 10:41 PM, Blogger PK said...

I really don't know if he was considering my view or just worried I'd share the letter with our superintendent and the newspaper - I could make a stink if I wanted to. I don't, but I could. I'm posting the letter tomorrow.

 
At 10:43 PM, Blogger PK said...

Terps, what a compliment! Truly when I began teaching I was down right timid - not that any of my current colleagues believe that, but I was and it's truly been reaching my fifties that has made me feel more powerful. If the boss doesn't like what I say - it's too bad for him, but it's not my problem. Sometimes I think writing Cassie also helped me find my voice - sometimes I channel her and it's marvelous!

 
At 4:39 PM, Blogger Katie said...

Hi PK, :) I am working backwards with comments today so I already read your post about the principal. I am sure that it brings one right back to feelings of childhood to get that little memo... Sorry that you are dealing with all of that!

I loved the question and I loved your answer. I think it is wonderful when you get to the point where you can just be you and respectfully say what you mean. I'm working on that. It is not easy. Good for you! Wonderful! Many hugs,

<3 Katie

 

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