How do we make our children feel special? I know we all try. I know I want mine to feel special but I don’t think Mollie will ever be one to realize how special she really is. I think Mollie is very happy. She is well adjusted and content with who she is – but she doesn’t feel special. I think she really believes, or at least used to believe, that I love LJ the best. That is not true and has never been true!! But I know why she must think it sometimes.
LJ was the easiest child in the world to raise. As soon as he could understand what we were saying to him he did everything we asked. He was the typical first child, wanted to please. He did well in school, did his homework without being asked. Did anything we ask to help around the house, just an all round easy kid.
And then came my baby! Now Mollie was perfect too the first year. But then she learned to walk and talk! And all heck broke lose in our house!! That child would argue with a fence post! No matter what I said to her there was an argument. She fussed about her socks, didn’t want to wear shoes, wouldn’t let me comb her hair, and wouldn’t listen to anything I ever said. She didn’t want to do her homework, didn’t want to clean her room, didn’t want to do anything we asked her to do.
So I know what she saw – me never fussing at LJ and always on her back. She also saw LJ as special - older, in academically gifted classes, on stage, nominated for and attended Governor’s school, well known and liked in the community, even being gay and having a great boyfriend made him seem special. But she doesn’t see herself as special.
She is WRONG!! This is such a special child. As she got a little older around 10 or 11 we really began to grow close. She is a live wire around here. Talks all the time and I love to hear her rattle on. This girl is smart, beautiful, thoughtful, loving and funny! Her teachers and everyone at church go out of their way to tell me what a wonderful kid she is. She had her first babysitting job at the age of 7, I think that says responsible!
I often share the things others say about her with her and she just grins and shrugs. She has such a good head on her shoulder and she is practical. She tells me she won’t ever be on stage like her brother, she won’t ever be asks to join two major symphonies in our state at the age of 15 as her cousin has just been asked to do and she won’t be designing costumes for the theater as another cousin is studying to do. She sees them as ‘special’ and herself as everyday. She wants to live in our little town and teach school like her mom. She doesn’t want to move to New York City and be ‘special’.
Recently Mollie was nominated for a short science and math program being offered to select high school students at one of our state colleges. She didn’t have great hopes of getting in but she wanted to go through the process to find out. She wrote essays and answered questions and then didn’t think much more about it. But out of all the students nominate from the all the high schools through out our state she was among the 40 they chose.
If you ask me they chose a very special girl.