Nick steps up

*Just to put this in reference, we don’t do anything with submission. Nick doesn’t want that. I like to pretend we have a domestic discipline marriage. I pretend that if I don’t follow his few basic rules, he’ll spank me. Sometimes it happens, sometimes it doesn’t. So anyway…

 

I can say I had a memorable afternoon last week. We’ve done almost no TTWD for many months – at least nine or ten I’d think. But in the last month we dabbled a little. I needed it. I wanted something harder than Nick is comfortable with. But whether or not to ask, how to explain what I wanted, did I really know what I wanted? It was all very confusing. 

 

We figured our way through it – I think if I went into all the details most of you would think it was very cumbersome and unnecessary. But it worked for us. It was a combination of provocative emails with a little role play thrown in. 

 

If you’ve read here long you probably know I have so many different people wandering around in my head that they practically have to elbow their way through at time. I’m not crazy, well no more than the rest of the folks in my life. I know what’s real and what isn’t. I often just don’t care and let these people have their say at times – at least through the written word. Nick knows this and sometimes draws on it.

 

Liz is one of these characters (I’ve sometimes referred to her in the past as BadAss.) She’s a big mouth and a tattletale. Sometimes Nick will email her to ask what’s going on and damn if she doesn’t tell him. Are you getting the picture yet? My husband writes to another aspect of my personality, to find out what’s going on with me and she can tell him things I can’t bring myself to tell him. Okay, forget what I said, I am crazy.

 

After we played a bit just before this last time, he sent me a ‘questionnaire’ kind of thing as a way to review. He was mostly teasing, but he also wanted information. Here’s one example of how Liz and I differed in our answers:

 

Nick:

Was the spanking today too intense?

 

PK:

I’d say the spanking intensity was just about right.

 

Liz/BadAss: 

Well now, let me add a little bit here. When you’re playing cards, teasing, joking around with this girl, she can’t take much. She’s become a wimp. So when it something like that – go light. But if you’re engaging in a discipline session… when you can take a day or two to tap into the girls guilt she can certainly take it longer and harder. You may never know what she’s feeling guilty about. You don’t have to – but you can say something to the effect of, “You know you deserve every bit of this.” And yes, she knows. (I know what she feels guilty about – don’t worry, it’s truly nothing serious and most women wouldn’t feel guilty for a second.)

 

Nick:

What was not intense enough to be effective?

 

PK:

All was good. 

 

Liz/BadAss:

I think as long as you’re getting this girl in a serious frame of mind (a few day, with text or emails to get her thinking,) the spanking should have been more intense. It was good, but she could have used more and harder.

 

That why he emails her sometimes. I usually let her have her head and she tell way more than I would, but there are some things I still won’t let her tell. Why not? Because I think because some of my fantasies are pretty dark, twisted and weird and even after nearly thirty-eight years of marriage, and nearly fifteen years of TTWD I don’t want him to know how deep some of these things go and view me as a real sicko.

 

I’m getting in too deep here so I’ll stop. I’ll post a few details about our afternoon soon. My man did good!