Sunday, April 26, 2015

This isn’t a complete update

I will tell you there’s been a little talking, a little spanking, and some excellent loving.  I sent him an email telling him I felt I’d made a mistake in asking him to stop our once a week deal, but I didn’t know how to take it back.

I asked him to go read the post Katie put up on her site, The List Concept

This is what I told him I needed from him:


What do I need from you?

  •   I’d love to reinstate the once a week – we can work on the timing. I love this for the reconnection.
  •  Work with me to have a few rules we can both be serious about. (I don’t do well with encouragement, offers of rewards, any of the usual things – but sometimes just telling myself I have to stick to the rule or there will be a serious/punishment spanking. It’s just something I do mentally, but if you’re there to enforce it’s been known to work.)
  • Ask me how I’m feeling sometimes – it’s hard to open up and sometimes I do need an invitation. A little email or text would do.

I added one more, but that's between me and him!

And I gave him the follow promises:

  •   I won’t turn down a spanking unless I’m actually sick. (But as any self-respecting spanko would, I’ll balk, complain, tell you I don’t need/deserve one and mildly try to talk you out of it. It’s what we do.)
  •   I won’t forget First Weekend. (And sometimes some hot sex may follow some weekly sessions at your request or at mine, not all of them, but some.)
  •   If you really want me to I’ll try to communicate more. (You have asked for an email a week in the past. Think about what you want – that might me too much.)

I added, I love you – I’m excited and scared, but that’s better than being depressed and bored. We have no timetable, but at least we talking and thinking.

I hope we’ll do more talking – and doing it by email works fine for me. I know I communicate better that way. He did ask a few things about the ‘list’ and I hope he will ask more. I will never convince myself he wants to hear what I have to say and it does help when he tells me specifically to email him.  I hope we won’t stop here.



Written by PK at 9:30 AM

23 comments

23 Comments:

At 12:53 AM, Blogger Cat said...

Sounds promising PK. Sending lots of positive energy and good thoughts your way. ;)

Hugs and blessings...
Cat

 
At 8:41 AM, Blogger Minelle Labraun said...

I think explaining everything is very good. It helps them wrap their head around the whole spanking process. In the moment of a spanking it's hard to dissect how you may not want it..... But you DO. How you NEED the connection. The way you shared with Nick was perfect.

 
At 9:10 AM, Blogger Leigh Smith said...

Hope it works out. It's a good start.

 
At 9:12 AM, Blogger Katie said...

HUGS to you PK! :) It does sound like a wonderful talk/time together all centered around moving forward! I am glad that the list post was helpful to you as well. There are some good things on that to ponder, I think. You both are communicating about it all. that is great stuff!

You know, I noticed that I need to backtrack to that post, and some others to reply to the comments. Last month being as it was, I did not always have the chance to do so. I got to a couple of them this past week. I'll keep working on that. Sorry about that for those that read there. Soon! :)

One last thought- Hermione put up a great Spanko Brunch question on her post this weekend. It has had me thinking and thinking- what are the three main benefits are of spanking for each person. It might be helpful to you in some way, to think about and try to narrow down to three, what you get from it- or what you want to, so that it helps you explain to Nick. And that might be food for thought for Nick too. IDK. My brain has been cranking that around since I saw it yesterday... I have to get back and answer, once I figure it out myself. Maybe even post worthy...

I am glad that things are looking up for you with it all! I'm rooting for you. Many hugs,

<3 Katie

 
At 9:18 PM, Blogger PK said...

Promising yes, but it's gone back and forth so much I never know what will really happen. Thanks for the encouragement.

 
At 9:20 PM, Blogger PK said...

It's so hard to know what you really want/need I seem to become more confused as I get older. I appreciate Nick's willingness to listen.

 
At 9:27 PM, Blogger PK said...

Sometimes I really want to just stop and let it all go, but when I try to do that I'm just not happy.

 
At 9:29 PM, Blogger PK said...

I appreciate you writing that post. I think it would help me if Nick adopted the list approach. I don't know if he will. It's up to him and at his pace right now. I'll head over to Hermione's.

 
At 2:33 AM, Blogger an English Rose said...

Hi PK< oh I am so glad that you have at least started talking, I just hope NIck is listening. Now keep on going, don't give up and DON'T refuse again!!!
love Jan,xx

 
At 5:57 AM, Blogger Roz said...

Hi PK, good on you for sending the email. I'm so glad you are talking and that there has been some spanking and loving :) sending positive thoughts that things continue in the direction you want them to.

Hugs
Roz

 
At 10:30 AM, Blogger ronnie said...

Need to keep talking and if emails work best for you then that's a good way so don't give up.

Love and hugs,
Ronnie
xx

 
At 1:13 PM, Blogger Florida Dom said...

Great to you're communicating because, as you said, you won't be happy if you let it all go. Good luck on things being better in the future. I like the list idea.

FD

 
At 6:12 AM, Blogger PK said...

I won't refuse again - but the talking part is still hard.

 
At 6:12 AM, Blogger PK said...

Thanks for the thoughts. I definitely still need them.

 
At 6:13 AM, Blogger PK said...

Yep, I think emails will always be my best bet.

 
At 6:14 AM, Blogger PK said...

Thanks FD, I know it's true but I'm always surprised by how hard it still is.

 
At 3:18 PM, Blogger Emerging Lurker said...

Congratulations on getting the communication restarted. I hope it gets you lots of spankings.

 
At 5:20 PM, Blogger PK said...

I keep hoping - still not much yet.

 
At 10:59 AM, Blogger Terpsichore said...

I am glad that you are talking...it is a start... Big hugs to you :-)

 
At 7:21 AM, Blogger Ella said...

Hello PK. I am new to this lovely group of bloggers. If you are the author of the Cassie stories, thank you so much. Meredith recommended them, and I enjoyed all 5 books!
I really liked the idea of writing to my husband. I actually used writing a bit when we were just starting the "Big Talk" way back at the beginning of ttwd. Will think of a way to integrate that again.
Wouldn't it be nice to have a book of Big Talk stories from the women in this group?
Ella

 
At 6:43 PM, Blogger PK said...

Ella, I'm so happy to talk with you here. Yes, I write Cassie and a complement on the books goes right to my heart! I love Cassie and her stories are a joy to me.

I've always been on to write my husband. I may write about that 'big talk' sometime. It's a little hazy, hard to remember everything and it was a long time ago - nearly 9 years.

And Cassie # 6 Cassie's Influence it out today!!

 
At 6:44 PM, Blogger PK said...

Thanks Terps, it isn't always easy.

 
At 1:35 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Hi, PK,
It has been ages since I have been able to get this way. Hope things are going ok

Jean

 

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